If you’ve never cruised in Europe before then you might not be aware that things of interest are relatively close to one another over here. It’s a hugely different experience from cruising in South America or Asia or, I imagine, Australasia where vast distances separate hubs of civilisation and it can take time to move from one to the other. Our previous two cruises with Princess Cruises had been to Asia and South America and they had been wonderfully-balanced cruises with port days and sea days sensibly-spaced. Europe is another matter. It’s perfectly possible for a cruise ship to cruise the Mediterranean and not bother with sea days at all, making every day one in a new port and possibly even a new country. If you’re keen to explore and not too concerned with relaxation time aboard a floating hotel then that might be just what you’re after but cruising for us does need a little “no worries” time and most of the big cruise lines agree with this philosophy too, breaking up a trip around Europe’s southern coastline with the odd 24-hour period of nothing but the sea to look at. Our first full day aboard Emerald Princess was one such day.

There’s very little more relaxing than stepping onto your balcony first thing in the morning and just gazing out across the sea.

We’d left Barcelona the evening before and would be docking in Gibraltar the following day so as we cruised southwards to that destination our view from our starboard balcony was towards Spain. We were far enough out from land, though, that it couldn’t be seen and, just for a change, we decided not to try to calculate what our minimum distance from land or angle to the horizon was based on our estimated height above sea level, something we’ve done on far more occasions than I care to recall. It turns out that all those times in school when we thought to ourselves “Okay, knowing the length of the adjacent side and the distance to that point I can take the cosine and… wait… when am I ever going to need this?” the answer was “When you’re on a cruise ship and your brain suddenly recalls odd mnemonics from decades prior.” We’ve also used maths to work out how much a ship was listing in high winds before by looking at the angle of the drink’s surface in a cocktail glass. Yes! We are that nerdy.

Emerald Princess’s daily programme of events in Princess Patter didn’t produce many highlights for us but that was fine because a day of doing nothing felt like a good way to start the cruise.

There were three films showing that we did like the look of as we’d not seen any of them before – Captain Marvel, John Wick: Chapter Three, and Avengers: Endgame – but we didn’t really want to spend several hours inside on such a lovely day so that ruled out John Wick, and we didn’t want to watch the last of the Avengers movies before we’d seen Captain Marvel, and we didn’t feel that Captain Marvel in bright sunshine would be the best of conditions to watch that sort of movie in. We don’t really go in for the port lectures, haven’t yet considered taking part in physical games on the decks or in the piazza, and roll about on the floor like Smash Martians whenever one of us jokingly suggests a health seminar. Trivia games (unsuccessful but bloody close), reading, and a long swim in the Lotus Pool would be the order of most of the day then.

And drinking, of course. You can’t forget the drinking. You try to forget the drinking by drinking but you can’t when you have formed the habit of taking a photo of every drink that magically appears in front of you when you’re on a cruise ship like I have. You look at the camera roll later and think “Ah. Oh yeah.” You also think to yourself “Did I take the same picture of a couple of glasses of wine four times?” but then you look at the timestamps and subtle differences in the backgrounds and how much of your book you got read in the afternoon and you realise that no, you didn’t, and the staff in Vines just did a mighty fine job of making you feel comfortable.

I’m only including one photo of wine. You don’t need to form horrible opinions about the state of our drinking by seeing any more.

This first day at sea aboard Emerald Princess would culminate in a formal night. That tends to be the way these things work out on Princess and knowing this from experience we’d pre-booked speciality dining at the Crown Grill restaurant a few months before the cruise as we knew it would be difficult to guarantee if we waited until we were onboard. This would give us the option to not have to dress up so formally should we desire because if you’re paying extra for your meal you can get away with a lot more. That said, Princess aren’t particularly fussy when it comes to formal nights, anyway. P&O have a far more rigid adherence to the formal dress code in certain locations after a certain time in the evening, for instance, but the vast majority of passengers on a Princess ship still make an effort and you can look a little out of place if you choose to go more casual.

So, we didn’t have to dress formally but we’d packed the tuxedo and fancy dress anyway (a dress that’s fancy, not actual fancy dress; I’m sure you knew that) so we figured we’d put up with a little stuffiness for one evening. And who doesn’t like dressing up and pretending they’re rich and snobby for a few hours, especially if you’re then going to a fine dining establishment?

Fake Rolex and EU cufflinks finished off my attire nicely as I made sure to have a traditional formal night Vodka Martini. My wife still doesn’t believe that I’ve started to acquire a taste for what was originally to me (and still to her) an absolutely vile concoction but it’s true. The olives are an important part of the mix but they must be removed once half the drink is consumed and they must under no circumstances be eaten because there are limits to what I can stomach, with olives being way beyond them.

Let me start by saying that this Crown Grill experience aboard Emerald Princess wasn’t the best. It certainly wasn’t the worst (no, Royal Princess, you still hold that particular prize) but the venue seemed a little chaotic, especially at the start of our meal, and the initial waiting time to even be asked our food and drink choices was unusually long. This seemed to be down to one or two staff too few in my opinion. We cannot fault our waitress at all who was very amusing despite being clearly rushed off her feet, and the food, once it started to arrive, was as wonderful as it always is in the speciality steakhouse.

It was nice to see they’d blanked off the unavailable wines from the wine menu as we almost without fail will pick something they don’t have. I’d like to think that this was because of my repeated feedback after cruises to do this very thing. Previous dining experiences have tended to include a conversation along the lines of “This?” “No.” “This?” “No.” “You must have this!” “I’ll just go check.” “They won’t have it.” “Sorry, we don’t have that.”

There were no surprises on the menu. You don’t visit the Crown Grill for the seasonal offerings; you visit because of the steak.

For our appetisers I went with the Hand-Cut Beef Filet Tartare while my wife took a gamble on Bay Scallop Timbale, a gamble as she’s not a fan of cajun spices.

Shrimp and Pancetta Bisque was my soup while my wife picked Black and Blue Onion. There wasn’t even a moment’s thought about going for the salad. We can be a little odd but we’re not crazy.

While our appetisers and soups are occasionally changed around a bit depending on how we feel the same isn’t true for the main course in the Crown Grill where we always both pick the 8oz Filet Mignon (rare because there is no other way), french fries between us as a side dish, with creamed spinach just for me and wild mushrooms just for my wife.

Dessert, as always, was the Crown Dependence, the sampler of all the sweet dishes available.

Another absolutely lovely meal from the Crown Grill, just as we’d expected, and we left feeling just the right side of bloated.

As we hadn’t been to Skywalkers Nightclub on embarkation day – we’d been shattered and crashed into bed quite early for us – we made sure to give it a visit on this first full day aboard. We entered to find there were actually a handful of people there which was a pleasant surprise as it’s not unusual for us to be the sole occupiers of the late night venue. Before heading to grab a seat at the edge of the dance floor (we like to people-watch and it’s convenient if we want to get up and dance and keep an eye on our drinks) we made a bee line for the DJ’s booth. From several metres away he looked up, pointed, and opened his mouth in shock.

Hey! I know you two!

Yeah, you do. Star Princess, March, Chile to Los Angeles.

Yeah, yeah! That’s right! Wow! You’re going to want to dance to Rob Zombie, aren’t you?

You know it.

Another night on a Princess Cruises ship, another nightclub spot being run by DJ Mateo, another couple of British people in full formal gear strutting their stuff badly to the sounds of Dragula.

The following morning would see Emerald Princess arrive in Gibraltar and our travel diary report of that will be covered in the next post in this cruise portfolio series.

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One Comment

  1. Penelope Rice

    Ah, the memories of ‘The Matrix’ that last video brings back. I must object to your objection to olives, though. They are the fruit of divinity, although not when they are bobbing in my drink.

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