Christians
26 Nov 2004 15:14 by Mark
First off, a tip of the hat to the lovely Gia for bringing to my attention the sheer unadulterated delights that exist at Chick.com.Secondly, a tip of the hat to parody law. God bless you and all who use you.
So, what is Chick.com? Is it a site about chicks, babes, and sexy thangs? No. Is it a site about poultry? No. Is it a site showcasing the work of Jack Chick, apparently America's leading proponent of literature aimed at scaring children into being Christians whilst simultaneously pointing out how all other religions are going to hell. Except for the Jews. But only if they repent and become Christians. Why, yes it is!
Words cannot do the site justice. You must check it out for yourself. But, to help you along I've picked out some highlights from the range of cartoon strips for children:
"If you believe in evolution instead of Jesus you'll end up in hell".
Roman Catholics are really Baal cultists.
Wait, let's double-check that. Catholic? Yes, you're going to hell.
England's decline is God's punishment for ignoring Jews.
"I feel so sorry for all the kids who'll be tricked into thinking it's okay to be gay ... because [they won't go to heaven]".
Call yourself a Hindu? I'm sorry, you mean 'devil worshipper'.
Live a good life, go to hell. Murder, rape, maim, but repent at the last second and go to heaven. Welcome to Christianity: The Fair Religion.
Sure, being a buddhist looks good and certainly seems to bring out the best in people but reincarnation ain't happening and you're going to be judged and thrown in the pit of hell for all eternity. Sorry.
Invite mormons into your house and question their faith before they question yours. Guaranteed Salt Lake City woe or your money back!
And the latest and greatest is ...
Let's tell muslims that Mohammed was a paedophile!
It must be hard work being a Christian in Jack Chick's world. Not only is there all that devout following of God and strict adherence to the Bible (except for the bits that don't count) but there's also all the important missionary work involved in telling other cultures where they're going wrong, why they're going to hell, and why they should be damn thankful there's an alternative out there to their devil-worshipping/paedophiliac/cultist (* delete as applicable) sham of a choice of worship.
I'm a fan of evil. But there's the good sort of evil and then there's religious evil. The work of Jack Chick - in my opinion - is some of the most incarnately evil ever, sadly, published. Indoctrinating children to show no tolerance for difference. Pure evil. Check the site out now and brace yourself for the next generation of Americans.
I felt that a strip needed ... re-captioning. I've decided to call it: Little Susy Becomes A Groom!





















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Rock music? Is this for real?
Maybe rightly so - but for being boring twats, rather than evil.
Am I the only one who keeps thing Jack Chick - Jack Shit?
Assuming you could find it.
This has really got my goat, can you tell?
ps. Jack Chick is a loony. And not in a good way like that David Firth bloke who does Salad Fingers.
Thank you mark!
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0069/0069_01.asp
Right about now, the funk-soul-brother. Chick's drawings almost look like these from the MAD-magazine.
And that last link holgersson was great. Although I feel the urge to keep shouting "You stupid jive turkey" at people now and I think that's God speaking through me.
superstar :)
If your blond have big titties and will worship at God's pole, you've got a one way ticket to the pearly gates!
I heart you very very much, good sir.
An i'm wondering, Colonel Sanders?
Has 2 eyes and glasses ....right....ahh dam!