In March 2019 we took a cruise aboard Star Princess, a ship we’d previously cruised on from Argentina to Chile three years earlier (see: South America: 2016) and on which we’d had, without a shadow of a doubt, the best service and friendliest staff of any of our many trips. It had also been a stunning holiday in terms of things we saw and experienced, checking off such things as visiting the southern hemisphere for the first time, cruising around Cape Horn, seeing whales and dolphins, and ascending a volcano. With news that the ship was being sold to P&O Australia in the next few years we decided to take another trip on her before she left the fleet and were pleased to find an itinerary that would start more-or-less at the same place we’d disembarked previously (and exactly three years to the day) then finish at Los Angeles, allowing us to tick off a few new countries and experience crossing the equator on a ship at the same time.

Flight Issues

If we’re not cruising out of the UK on a Princess ship then we use their EZAir service. It has one drawback in that the flight options tend to be understandably limited to the blocks they reserve but otherwise we’ve found the prices are excellent and the comfort that comes from knowing that in the event of problems Princess will sort things out and get you where you need to be is worth it. Our flight out to Chile using the Spanish airline Iberia would take us from Heathrow to Madrid and from Madrid to Santiago after three hours in the Spanish capital. With our first flight taking place at 17:10 we planned to leave the house at midday as that would give us plenty of time to drive up, park, shuttle across, dump the luggage, pass through security, and get in some pre-cruise drinks (as is the law).

We’d completed the online check-in the day before, picked our seats, and were spending the morning of the start of our South and Central American adventure watching some TV and waiting for it to get to the right sort of time to leave the house when I got a text message from Iberia. Our flight from Heathrow had been changed to 19:35. As our flight from Madrid was still the same, our layover time in Spain was now down to just 30 minutes. That seemed awfully short, especially for people who don’t run through airports. We reasoned that the connection would have to be possible since Iberia wouldn’t have altered it this way if it couldn’t but we didn’t really believe it. We decided to travel up to Heathrow as we’d planned where we hoped we’d get a chance to see if there was any way to get another flight across to Spain earlier.

Here’s where EZAir kicked in. We’d not long got in the car and started driving before I got a call from Princess. They’d been notified of the flight change too and wanted to make sure we were aware of it. They then asked if we wanted to get an earlier flight and offered us one of two options. The first of those would have been tight to make but the second was a flight at 18:45. That would give us over an hour in Madrid and was far more acceptable. So we accepted. Our stress dissipated.

We parked the car, took the shuttle to the airport, then found the Iberia desk where we explained that we’d been booked on the 17:10 flight, it had been changed to the 19:35 flight, then had been changed to the 18:45 flight while we’d been in transit to the airport. The airline desk man was very friendly, very understanding, and very unable to find our details until he’d called over a colleague. Quite some time later he eventually said he’d got it all sorted, tagged our luggage to send it on its way into the bowels of the airport, and handed us our boarding passes. Phew! Ish.

We got to Madrid with no problem and found the lounge by the next gate we needed, relaxing a little more. Our flight gate opened and we joined the queue to board. I handed over my pass and waited. And waited. My wife and I were pulled to one side while the rest of the plane’s passengers boarded. After several minutes watching the desk clerk typing all manner of weird codes into her console she turned around and explained that it looked like our bookings had been cancelled in London and not fully rebooked for the ongoing flight but, she assured us, there were plenty of seats on the plane so she just needed to reallocate some seats for us and we could get on. She handed us new passes then looked at us with an apologetic smile. “Your cases,” she said. “I think they have still been routed to the plane. But maybe not. I cannot find them in the system.”

We’ll gloss over the security implications of not being able to track luggage properly and we’ll gloss over the IT implications of being able to issue passes that get us through security but not onto a plane. We shrugged. Maybe the luggage would travel with us and maybe it wouldn’t. There wasn’t a lot we could do other than try not to worry about it. Of course, we worried about it through the entire eleven and a half hours-long flight.

Luggage Issues

And at Santiago airport in Chile our fears were fully realised as the luggage carousel ground to a halt with no sign of our bags. We weren’t the only people in the same boat and I’d got talking to a Scottish guy who’d also been originally booked on the 17:10 flight from London but had flown to Madrid on the later flight. He’d not expected to find his bags as he’d needed to jog to get to the departure gate on time and had been the last person to board the plane.

What do you do if your luggage doesn’t arrive at the airport when you do? We found an Iberia desk and talked to the man behind it. My new Scottish friend spoke fluent Spanish so breezed through the process of explaining his situation and filling in all the necessary paperwork. He offered to translate for us but we thanked him, said we didn’t want to hold him up, and explained we’d muddle through. And muddle through we did.

The main thing you need is your luggage receipt sticker (affixed to the boarding pass), a description of the luggage (easy to show as our hand luggage was just a smaller version of it), and an address to which to send the luggage onto. Ah. Have you ever tried to tell someone with limited understanding of your own language that your address for most of the rest of the day would be on the coast, tomorrow it would be a hundred kilometres to the north, and two days after that it would be another country? In fact, if you’re on a cruise and your luggage doesn’t turn up then you don’t actually need the address; all you need is to get the incident number from the airline desk because the cruise line will sort things out for you from there. We finally got through that we had no address to give but that someone would be in touch, got a printout of our lost luggage incident form with its tracking number, and headed out of luggage collection and into the main airport in search of Princess representatives and our transfer to the port.

Princess Representative: Do you have any bags to put on the bus?
Me: They may or may not be joining us at a later date.
Princess Representative: Oh no! Have you talked to the airline? Who did you fly with?
Me: Yes, we have. It was Iberia.
Princess Representative: Oh, that explains it.

A few hours later and we were on Star Princess in the port of San Antonio, Chile. First order of business was straight to reception where we handed over our lost luggage incident print-out, gave a description of the cases once more, and left everything in the hands of Princess to sort out. Before we headed to our room to drop off our hand luggage we were given complimentary toilet bags, offered the loan of a formal outfit, and were told that until our luggage turned up we could get complimentary use of the laundry service with a priority next-day turnaround on any clothing left out the night before. You can’t argue with that.

The emergency toiletry kit was basic but perfectly adequate.

Hand Luggage

If there’s one good thing that has come out of having luggage lost on a flight it is in realising that our packing technique until this point has been very risky. In fact, prior to this particular cruise, when we’d flown we’d done so with barely any carry-on luggage at all; my allocation is always my camera equipment and my wife’s hand luggage has had a few, random things in it. This was the first cruise where I suggested it might be sensible to have a change of clothing in the hand luggage so in addition to reading material and some shoes we actually had some underwear, a dress, a pair of trousers, and a couple of t-shirts for the first time. This meant that with the free laundry service we would be okay clothing-wise around the ship although we’d be decidedly more casual than smart casual for the non-formal evenings.

Where I fouled up was in packing my camera charger in the main luggage. I quickly realised that if our luggage didn’t arrive I would be limited to taking just one battery’s worth of photos unless I could find a supplier of new batteries and/or a compatible charger I could use, or consider buying a new camera onboard. One battery is about 700 photos and for me that’s horrifyingly restrictive. There were, therefore, no photos taken on the ship on the first day other than those snapped on my phone; I had to ration my picture-taking in case the worst happened.

We have subsequently vowed to pack suitably in the hand luggage and to distribute mine and my wife’s clothing between the cases when we travel from now on.

Crooners On Star Princess

How do you deal with stressful situations? You do yoga or meditate if you’re into that sort of thing. We don’t because we aren’t. We’re like the late Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest; we see if there’s a pub. Our preferred venue for drinking on a Grand-class Princess ship is Crooners. We saw that there had been an obvious refit on the ship since our previous cruise on Star Princess, the seating upholstery looking very nice indeed. We also noticed brand new drinks menus.

The menu was an improvement in many respects from its predecessor but while there were some welcome additions for us to try for the first time there were also some notable omissions; my favourite drink, the Lawford’s Libation, was nowhere to be seen any longer. Still, there was stress to deal with so we had a drink. Or two. Maybe three. And some nibbles.

Vines

A year earlier we’d discovered that we really liked the Vines wine bar on Sapphire Princess as a late afternoon location to unwind and keep an eye on activities in the piazza. Our cruise prior to this one had been on Diamond Princess and for understandable reasons given its demographic there was no Vines present. Star Princess did have a Vines bar, though, so we checked it out to see if it was likely to be as good as our Sapphire experience. It would turn out to be better thanks to two outstanding bar staff here who, after this first day when I showed my cruise card to them to buy some wine, never needed to see my card again and remembered our names and what we most likely wanted to drink every time they saw us afterwards. That’s top class service. They also kept trying different persuasion techniques to get us to try the complimentary tapas or sushi available in the early evening for wine-drinkers.

We were in Vines when Star Princess departed San Antonio and headed north to our first port stop at Coquimbo. From our seat by the window we watched the pilot boat alongside us.

First Dinner On Star Princess

It wouldn’t be a late night for us on this first day aboard the ship. I don’t sleep on planes and anxiety about lost luggage could only fight off general tiredness and the power of alcohol for so long. Not long after we had dinner we decided to head to bed but dinner itself was very good indeed. In the three courses below my wife’s choice is on the left in each case.

As mentioned, the following morning would see us in Coquimbo, still in Chile, and our time there, including our excellent excursion to visit an observatory on a mountain will be covered in the next post. And our lost luggage? Maybe that will make an appearance too.

Chile is well-known for its observatories. The dry and clear conditions present at its high altitude landscapes make it a perfect spot for locating huge telescopes with less of the atmosphere to peer through at the distant reaches of the universe. My wife and I are at the nerdier end of the interests spectrum and we also like seeing things or taking those sorts of trips that fall within the less usual category so that we have something unique to talk about, and on a cruise we really like to mix up the types of things we see too. It’s not that we like being the centre of attention – perish the thought! – but we also don’t like being considered dull and unoriginal when boring the hell out of friends and family when we get back. Plus, the more distinct you make your trips the easier it is to remember them and not have them all merge into one big pile of spaghetti holidays.

So, we hit five islands on this cruise. Do you want to know what we did?
I suppose I’d better get it over with, yeah.
On the first island we went to a beautiful, golden beach.
Nice. The second?
We went to a beautiful, golden beach.
Right.
On the third island we went to a beautiful, golden beach.
I see.
The fourth island was where we found something absolutely magical.
Do tell!
A beautiful, golden beach.
Oh God.
The last island was the one with the volcano and the castle on its rim.
At least that sounds fascinating.
Probably, but we spent the day on a beautiful, golden beach.

We didn’t see any beautiful, golden beaches along Coquimbo or on the way to and through La Serena as we drove to our excursion destination but the amount and variety of wildlife was instantly noticeable and remarked upon by our guide. This tiny clip (temporarily removed) shot from the bus on the exit from the port at Coquimbo shows just some of the wildlife in the region with red-headed vultures on the railings above a sea lion that we’d been told had come ashore in recent weeks and begun making itself at home along the promenade.

The drive to the observatory was a long one and while it remained dry and dusty it also got brighter and clearer as the bus got closer to our destination. We’d started the day under low cloud, a common occurrence in any place that gets hot during the day, cools down at night, and is close to water – this explains why I’m not a morning person too – but we knew from experience of visiting Chile a few years earlier that visits to altitude took care of that problem. The landscape was one of not much vegetation and plenty of shades of beige but compared to our long bus ride through part of Patagonia in Argentina in 2016 it was still actually interesting, no doubt because it wasn’t unending flatness to the horizon. The hills we passed by and the smaller mountains we could see were part of the Andes range which probably helped bestow upon them a level of wonder that possibly doesn’t come across in this short bit of footage (temporarily removed).

Short of the town of Vicuña our bus turned off the Route 41 road it had been following and headed south. The road started to climb and snake as it followed several watercourses that run like veins through the scrub landscape. At one point we came alongside a large dam which had trapped the water in an artificial lake; mist rose from it as the sun rising over the mountain ranges heated up the cool surface, and the whole effect was enchanting. You’ll have to take my word for it, though, because the sun was directly behind it and both throwing its energy at our windows directly and reflected off the lake. I knew it would be a waste of time and precious battery power to even think about taking a photo.

A little while later we came to the bottom of the main road leading to the various observatories in this part of the Chilean mountainscape. Vehicles aren’t permitted up this road without a guide and he hadn’t arrived yet so we were able to get out and stretch our legs. In the first of the photos below you should be able to see the domes of the observatories on the distant mountain top.

Our guide duly arrived and we were off once more on a slow, winding ascent. On several occasions we had to stop completely for our driver to get out and manhandle a boulder out of the way before we could continue. Our guide, meanwhile, told us a little more about the science setup in Chile, how international companies and governments would effectively pay to have their observatories built and maintain the infrastructure, and how they would grant Chilean scientists time on the telescopes in return.

We also got an explanation as to the flora in the region as we started to pass cacti as we meandered upwards, some quite plain, others with white flowers, and many with bright red flowers. “Do you see the three types of cactus here? Which one do you prefer? The red one? Ah, interesting. It is pretty, no? The birds think so too as that is the one they are attracted to most. They land, they feed, they carry spores. Yes, spores, because the red flower is a parasite and it is spreading everywhere.” Like most people, I’ve always wanted to be in a sci-fi/horror movie about a group of people heading to a remote outpost while a parasitic lifeform spreads across the landscape towards them and this was the closest I’ve got to that dream yet.

Cerro Tololo Inter-American Observatory

And so we finally reached the top and our excursion destination, the Cerro Tololo Inter-American Observatory. We were 2207 metres above sea level with breathtaking views across the Chilean mountains and landscape and a crystal clear, blue sky from horizon to horizon. Main construction on the site lasted from 1963 to 1974 although some of the smaller buildings and facilities dotted across and just below the small plateau were added later. The most prominent structure was the housing for the largest of the telescopes on the site, the 4-metre aperture Víctor M. Blanco Telescope, which is primarily used to survey the sky for evidence of dark energy.

The Small and Medium Research Telescope System (SMARTS) consortium manage the telescopes at Cerro Tololo under 2 metres in diameter and it was to the largest of those, the equatorial-mounted, 1.5 metre Cassegrain reflector that we first went. Through a doorway and up a narrow, steep set of steps took us into the dome of the telescope where we were invited to look around for a few minutes and ascend another small set of steps onto a walkway that ran around the interior of the rim of the dome and surrounded the telescope mount.

We gathered around as our guide talked about the sorts of things that the telescope was used for, which we’d been expecting, but then we were asked to move away from the exterior wall of the dome and come closer to the railings. There was some copper piping around the interior of the dome that I’d already bumped into twice because a) the walkway was fairly narrow and there were quite a few people milling around on it, picking random directions in which to walk, and b) I’m a clumsy bugger when I’m gawping at interesting things. I initially thought that they were sensitive and that maybe we (more accurately, I) had triggered some alarm but this wasn’t the case at all. Instead, we were treated to what I can best describe as a science rollercoaster ride. The floor mount was raised, the doors were closed and reopened, the dome was rotated, the telescope alignment was adjusted, and it was immense fun. I know that you’re probably thinking “Mark, that doesn’t sound like the most fun, to be perfectly honest” but let this video (temporarily removed) show you the error of your ways.

See! As I’ve mentioned on plenty of occasions, we’re experiential travellers and I’d like to think that we’re in a very small subset of people who’ve had that sort of experience.

Once the floor mount had been lowered and a safety gate unlocked we were then led down and out of the 1.5 metre telescope dome, across the top of the site, and into the larger observatory building. First stop was either the control room or a flatscreen monitor showroom on the ground floor where we received some information about the sort of work that took place here.

I don’t like to get in the way of other people when we’re on excursions, preferring instead to have them in my way so I can bitch and moan about it later, so we stood at the back of the room. This gave us sole viewing of the observatory emergency equipment positioned there, equipment we can relate to and which meets with our full approval.

It was then time to see the 4-metre telescope in this building which required an ascent of eight floors. Luckily, that was by elevator but with the elevator only holding about eight people at a time there was a wait for several groups to go up and the empty cars to return. Beside the elevator was a box containing keys for all the doors in the building and an attractive piece of artwork on the wall.

The keys were used to ensure that all doors between the telescope housing and the ground floor were locked at night when the telescope was in use. When it comes to taking sensitive readings every effort is made to reduce any interference and that includes air pressure changes that can happen when a door is opened so the building is empty when in use and everything is controlled remotely.

There was something of a TARDIS quality inside the dome of the Víctor M. Blanco Telescope. From outside it had appeared big, yes, but not massively so against the vista of Chile around it. Once we’d entered the ground floor, both the control room and the elevator were tight squeezes for our excursion group. But in the dome itself it was like walking into a vast cavern, the experience multiplied by the echoing nature of the space and by the cool temperature, necessary for the telescope’s operation. We had been advised that warm layers might be necessary for this visit to the telescope and there were clearly some people who felt the chill enough to wrap up. We found it quite pleasant but we are fans of the cold anyway.

Unlike at the smaller telescope, the doors were kept fully closed during our visit. We were told that not only was this dome not opened during the day but that special care had to be taken when the moon was in the sky as the brightness of our planet’s natural satellite would damage the sensitive camera equipment.

This short video (temporarily removed) has some footage from both outside and inside the 4-metre telescope at Cerro Tololo.

We made our way outside in one of the first groups to use the elevator this time so that we would have more time to gaze across the landscape from our high elevation once more while we waited for everyone else to emerge. The sky was fantastically blue, the buildings blisteringly white, and the mountains disappearing into the distance exuded a sense of deep age that felt like the perfect setting for equipment peering into the history of universe. Other observatories on nearby mountain tops could be seen from our position.

We stuck to the shadows of the buildings as much as possible, not because it was particularly hot – it was actually really nice, temperature-wise, and the naturally dry heat meant it wasn’t uncomfortable at all – but because we knew from previous experience just how much more potent the sun’s rays were with a thinner layer of atmosphere above protecting us.

Lunch In Vicuña

That marked the end of our fascinating trip to the Cerro Tololo Inter-American Observatory so we reboarded our bus and headed back down the twisting, dusty road that had brought us up here. It wasn’t a whole lot faster heading down than it had been going up but at least all the boulders had already been cleared away this time.

As this was a full day’s cruise excursion there was an included meal and this took place in the town of Vicuña. We had a short drive through some of the streets initially so that a few points of interest could be pointed out. I won’t pretend to be a fan of poetry but the apparently famous Chilean poet Gabriela Mistral was born in the town in 1889 and we passed by a square named in her honour; the town has a museum dedicated to the poet too.

Our lunch was huge. Far too much to finish, in fact, and not helped by a bread thing that might actually have been drier than the landscape we’d found ourselves in for the day. It was all very nice, though, and was accompanied by water, Chilean wine, and pisco sour, something for which this region of the world is famous. We do like to drink national drinks in their nations but this wasn’t a sentiment shared by some fellow cruisers with whom we shared a table in the restaurant. We did very well for pisco sours during this meal.

Star Princess, Coquimbo

All that remained was for us to return to Coquimbo, passing through La Serena once more, and get back on Star Princess.

Eagle-eyed and regular readers of this site might have noticed that the quantity of photos accompanying what was a spectacular trip is quite clearly lower than normal for me, Sir Photosalot. Very regular readers of this site will know the reason for that. As explained in the previous post covering the start of this cruise, our luggage hadn’t accompanied us to Chile. Importantly, because of a luggage-packing technique that has subsequently been consigned to an oubliette and covered over with concrete, my camera battery charger was therefore missing and I’d engaged in photo rationing despite my wife’s sensible reminders that we’d be able to buy a new camera in a worst case scenario so I may as well treat everything as normal. I couldn’t, though. I’m a cautious bugger by nature.

As our bus arrived at Coquimbo port we saw that there was a cage of suitcases on the dockside. We guessed that this was other luggage that had been delayed and could clearly see that our cases… were not amongst them. However, in a mad moment of positivity I mentioned to my wife that they might have had a second delivery of cases while we’d been off engaging the science portions of our brains because it probably depended on where people had flown in from as to when things got sent onwards. And I was right. As we stepped into the corridor aboard the ship we could see our cases sitting outside our room. Please picture two grown adults skipping and dancing and making silent whooping noises so as not to disturb anyone or draw attention to themselves as they make their way to their cabin here.

The sense of relief – only tempered fractionally by realising I should have listened to my wife (motto for life) and gone mad with the camera as usual – is almost impossible to describe. I know we’re not the only people in the world to have had luggage go missing so if you’ve ever been in the same situation then you’ll know the weight that lifts when it turns up.

After unpacking and while waiting for my wife to go through the shower ahead of my turn I headed out onto the balcony to take some shots of the city and record a little bit of video on my super-cheap video (temporarily removed) camera of the band entertaining the ship at dockside.

The skyline of Coquimbo was dominated by the Cruz del Tercer Milenio (Third Millenium Cross), an 83-metre tall monument with 2000 steps leading to it (prayers are more effective if you’re out of breath, sweating, and cursing between gasps). In addition, we’d also seen a lot of street art in the area as our bus had passed through twice during the day so Coquimbo and neighbouring La Serena are probably places that we could find things to interest us and explore more if we returned to this part of the world.

Wheelhouse Bar Menu

Where our first day had been stressful thanks to flight problems and lost luggage, our second day of this cruise was one filled with fabulous sights and utter joy. Still full from our massive lunch earlier we had a later dinner than even we typically go for and this gave us time to check out the Wheelhouse Bar for the first time where we discovered that, just like Crooners, it had received a new drinks menu too. We had one drink in there and another in Crooners before dinner then had a relatively early night for us again as we’d been up fairly early for the trip to the observatory.

We would have two sea days back-to-back next, giving us plenty of time to fully unwind, properly align our body clocks with the new timezone, and appreciate all the ship had to offer. That’s not exactly a euphemism for “check out all the bars” but there’s certainly some overlap.

Ordinarily, I would take a crapload of photos around the ship at this point and you might even expect more pictures than usual because I’d been rationing my photo-taking on account of not having a battery charger until the evening of the previous day. However, the weather didn’t really inspire this sort of activity for these sea days. Our trek northwards along the South American coastline was accompanied by low clouds for the most part. It was still nice and warm but the light wasn’t good enough to really show off the cruise ship in its best light. For this reason, and because I knew there would be plenty of other opportunities to take a photo tour of the ship, my camera stayed mostly in our room while we wandered around Star Princess’s venues, entertaining ourselves or finding relaxing spots to drink and read and watch the world go by; the vast majority of pictures on this post, therefore, were taken on my phone.

Star Princess Shots

There were still some photos of the ship itself, of course. Despite us having been on Star Princess before and despite us having been on Grand-class ships more than any other and despite the light not being great I still took photos of the pool and from the balcony. These things are not just traditional, they’re also a means by which I can assure my wife I’ve not been taken over by pod people. Had I not taken these sorts of shots then I would have been stabbed through the neck with a Princess biro and thrown overboard, and rightly so. I know they say you’re not supposed to throw anything overboard during the muster drill but there’s a good argument for exceptions being made for pod people.

The piazza hosted some Argentinian Tango dancing on a number of occasions and it was on one of these sea days that I managed to capture some of it (temporarily removed). This brought back fond memories of our previous cruise to this part of the world.

One of our big joys on this cruise was chancing upon the following sign on our cabin steward’s cleaning cart in the corridor outside our room. We already knew that we were in the area of the ship designated Ten Forward but to also discover that we were in Section 31 really made our Star Trek-loving hearts flutter with happiness.

We watched shoals of flying fish from our balcony for the best part of an hour on one of the sea days. There were easily over a hundred of them. We’d never seen them before and it was surprising not only how far they flew over the water but that they also changed direction so frequently. We had hoped that they were fleeing from something below that waves that would surface at some point but we never saw anything and for all we know they just really like the feel of air across their fins.

We swam both days because that’s what we do on cruise ships. Our preferred location is the adults only pool and that led to a run-in with a South American family whose young son started peeling off his outer layers ready to clamber into the pool. I swam to the side and tried to explain that it was adults only and that he wasn’t allowed. His mother came along. I explained to her. She pretended not to understand while reading the pool rules sign written in English. The father came along. I explained to him. I pointed to the sign that said it was for adults only and figured that word “adults” was probably similar enough in most languages to be understood. I tried to explain that there were four other pools on the ship that the kid could swim in. It would be fair to say that my attempts to be helpful were not appreciated. The sarcastic clapping I got from the father was proof of that. The gesture I got from the kid behind his parents’ backs was further proof. The loud laugh I gave to that which made the child’s face look like it was about to break into sobbing was something I am proud to have done and I’m only sorry that we never bumped into them again on the cruise as I would have delighted in smirking into that entire family’s faces.

Drinks On Star Princess

A surprising thing for us, given that we’d been on Diamond Princess only five months earlier, was that all the drinks menus had changed. The first two travel portfolio posts from this cruise have included scans of drink menus in Crooners and the Wheelhouse Bar, and below is another menu that was in a few other lounges around the ship in case you’re interested in seeing how much it will cost to damage your liver on a cruise.

It’s here that I’d like to give a quick mention of the Princess drinks packages. This is a topic that comes up frequently enough on Facebook groups that it still surprises me that nobody there has come up with a tool for group admins to pattern-match on certain keywords and direct anyone posting on that subject to a frequently asked questions page. I suppose Facebook still haven’t perfected their perversion of democracy through targeted political advertising yet but I’d like to think that once we’ve all transformed into fascist states they’ll get around to it.

The drinks package, though: if you’ve ever wondered whether it’s worth getting the drinks package on a Princess ship then for the love of all that’s holy, work it out yourself. Don’t ask anyone else because they won’t drink the same way you do and the advice you’ll receive will be useless. We’ve worked it out for us. We know that for us it is never worth the purchase price of the drinks package with Princess Cruises. Other lines may be different because the average price of a drink might be less and the package price might be less too. But with Princess we’ve determined that we would need to drink seven or eight drinks a day to make the package worth the price. We will typically have one big blow-out day on a cruise where we drink in excess of that and on a port day we won’t get anywhere close because we won’t be on the ship. On most sea days we still won’t hit the level required to make a drinks package worth it and we’re not light drinkers by any means but if you are a raging alcoholic then it might just be worth it for you. Again, though, only you can know that. The following photos show some of the drinks we had over the two sea days.

Edit: The above information and ranting was correct at the time of publishing for this cruise in 2019, but subsequent drinks package changes have changed that somewhat.

Formal Night

If this were a Facebook cruise group then moving from drinks packages to talking about formal night would be the ultimate in trolling, but it isn’t and, more importantly, this isn’t going to be a talk about appropriate wear for men and women in the dining room.

The first of our two sea days was the first formal night aboard Star Princess. Early evening saw us up in Skywalkers Nightclub which is transformed into the Elite Lounge for a few hours for Platinum and Elite level guests, serving up complimentary nibbles and exclusive, lower-priced cocktails. It was a popular location every day but especially so on the formal nights on this cruise. As we dined late in the evening we would always turn up in our shorts and tee shirts we’d been wearing during the day but others made more of an effort and plenty of attendees were already in their posh frocks and dinner suits or tuxedoes.

We ended up sharing a table with two older women, one a solo cruiser since her husband had passed away, the other someone who’d gone cruising with a friend only to discover they shared almost nothing in common and wanted to do completely different things both on and off the ship, and who had subsequently bumped into the first woman on the first day’s excursion, got chatting, and decided to hang around together and keep each other company. The solo cruiser had some stunning stories to tell about her experiences on cruises but I wouldn’t do them justice recounting them now so I shan’t.

While the food quality is usually very good indeed and the range of food options perfectly acceptable too (especially when you consider just how many people need to be catered for), we have often found that formal night dinner offerings on Princess leave a lot to be desired. The last formal night does tend to be a little better in terms of food choices with lobster often making an appearance but by then we’ve usually had enough of formal dining. For this first of the formals on Star Princess we were again marginally underwhelmed with dinner but the chocolate dessert was absolutely gorgeous, as usual.

One thing that happened during dinner made us smile. We were on a table for eight, sharing with an Australian couple, a Californian couple, and two Hungarian ex-pats who lived in America. During the main course the Hungarian man put down his cutlery and told us all at the table that he was so pleased he’d dined with us all that night because in the 44 years he’d been living in America and on all the cruises they’d taken this was the first time he’d ever sat with people who knew how to use their knives and forks properly.

Speciality Dining At Sabatini’s Italian Restaurant

While the formal night dinner had been mostly unexciting, the same cannot be said for our dining experience on the second of the two sea days.

When we’d booked this Star Princess cruise it had been during one of Princess’s 3-For-Free deals. The three free elements are additional onboard credit to offset against excursions and bar bills, one free speciality dining evening, and one bottle of wine. That’s all per person and not per cabin. In our room, therefore, on our arrival we’d been greeted by this:

It’s my understanding that you can change the allocated sitting date and time if it’s not suitable but even though it was considerably earlier than we’d normally eat (as we’re not barbarians), we figured that the time slot probably worked best for the restaurant’s planning so we’d go along with it. We’re good like that.

We’ve eaten in Sabatini’s before and enjoyed it immensely (even if we learned that you cannot trust an Italian chef to cook you a steak properly so just don’t even bother asking) so we were happy with the allocation of that restaurant. It was as we sat down for the meal that we realised that it wasn’t just the drinks menus on Star Princess that had changed; the Sabatini’s menu had been completely revamped too. Apparently, only a few ships in the fleet currently have this new menu and that’s a shame as it’s far superior to the older one.

First order of business was picking a wine and, true to recent form, Princess didn’t have the first one we wanted. It’s an Italian restaurant, Princess, so please have Barolo stocked. That moan out of the way, our waiter gave us a recommendation for a Pinot Noir that he said was similar and which, it turned out, we would have a number of additional times on the ship. It was bloody lovely. It’s worth mentioning here that the “free bottle of red or white wine” voucher that comes with the 3-For-Free deal is really just a wine discount and you pay the excess.

And so to our speciality dining food. Not pictured here is the basket of assorted bread that was delivered to the table. I feel nothing but shame for this omission on this occasion but can assure you that it was possibly the finest bread I’ve ever eaten. If you like bread half as much as I do – and that’s quite a challenge – then you are going to love the bread at Sabatini’s. Also not pictured is the plate of prosciutto and the deep fried pizza dough ball things (I don’t know how to describe them, but they were great!) with dipping sauce. This aperitivo course was described on the menu as “warm rustic whole-wheat loaf, tuscan zonzelle with roasted tomato & bell pepper passata, prosciutto crudo, extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar.” Again, I have no excuses other than to say that I’ve let myself down here. This wouldn’t be the only time that we went to Sabatini’s, though, so a later post in this cruise series will make up for this.

For our antipasti dishes my wife chose Frittino di Paranza (chickpea fritters, squid, prawns, eggplant, carrots, green beans, lemon garlic aioli) while I had Arrosticini di Agnello (grilled lamb skewers marinated with oregano & extra virgin olive oil, arugula salad).

Next up was a choice of soup or salad and we both went for the soup, the Grana Padano Fondue (celery, foraged mushrooms, toasted hazelnuts). Now, I don’t like cheese and I really don’t like mushrooms but this was unbelievably tasty. Plenty of bread was used mopping up the bowl.

Next was the pasta course, the dal pastaio. My wife picked Buckwheat Pappardelle (wide ribbon pasta, celeriac, nebbiolo-braised beef cheek) here while I chose the Tortelloni (mint-speckled pasta, roasted lamb, pecorino crosta nera, cacio e pepe sauce, broccoli rabe). The pasta was so good and the sauce was almost identical (and might even have been the same) to the soup I’d just devoured so this was particularly nice even if it meant I was in danger of overdosing on the stuff.

The secondi piatti course saw me choosing Scaloppine di Pollo, Salsa al Limoncello con Rosemarino (seared chicken breast, sorrento lemon, asparagus, rosemary sauce, garlic, pine nuts, capers, olive oil & parsley mashed potatoes) while my wife went for Porchetta (rolled pork belly toscana, potatoes, spinach, roasted tomato).

We went tiramisu crazy for dessert, both picking the famous Italian dish to finish the meal with and also selecting a tiramisu cocktail from the exclusive drinks list. The tiramisu was presented beautifully but its deconstructed and rearranged nature wasn’t what we were expecting and it seemed to lack that tiramisu taste overall.

The new Sabatini’s menu aboard Star Princess was excellent in every respect except one: there was too much food. I don’t want to hear any rubbish along the lines of “Nobody was forcing you to eat all that bread, Mark” because I’m half Irish and consider that a racist attack on me. After the cruise I gave feedback that amounted to saying “please reduce the portion sizes in Sabatini’s by about 20%” because speciality dining should be an occasion where you reach the end of the meal and feel comfortably full but neither of us did and we were both struggling ahead of dessert. I know that Princess are an American company first-and-foremost and that American culture has this thing of wanting value for money and taking food away in doggy bags when you order more than you can sensibly eat – indeed, we saw other people having portions of their courses wrapped up for them – but this just feels so very wrong to us.

That one gripe aside, though, our Sabatini’s dining experience was so good that not only did we book speciality dining at the Crown Grill during the cruise but we also booked a second sitting at Sabatini’s in order to try out some other courses from the superb menu.

After two days at sea we would next have two days on land, both in Peru, and the first of those will be covered in the next post in this series, featuring our excursion to an Incan administrative complex.

The excursion we picked was to visit the Inca administrative complex Tambo Colorado situated about 40 kilometres inland from the coastal city of Pisco which was around 40 kilometres from where the cruise shop was docked, making for travel time of between an hour and an hour and a half. We don’t tend to do wildlife-based excursions when we’re travelling, favouring historical options when possible, so while the reserve area sounded interesting this would be a chance to set foot on ground that the Inca people walked on and that sort of travel experience is more important to us.

This area of the world is dry and dusty so there wasn’t a lot of beauty to see on the drive to Tambo Colorado although some of the wide open views across the bay and back to the ship as we drove around its edge were lovely. Sadly, video footage from this point on in the cruise is limited to what was shot on my cheap GoPro knock-off and that was mainly from vehicles (although none heading out on this excursion); upon my return all the video I’d taken bar that which has already been posted in the articles covering the start of the cruise and Chile was lost during cloud syncing. It’s a sore subject and one I don’t want to dwell on and I’ll thank you to never mention it again. Even if I will. Constantly. Anyway, there will be some video in the next post as I did take some on the drive back to the port and that will give you a chance to see the Paracas landscape as well as the unfinished-looking buildings that the all local Peruvians live in. The reason for that will be explained then.

Tambo Colorado

We don’t like hot temperatures yet keep visiting places that have them and inland Peru has them. To be fair, until this point all of our trips to places that had made us say “Fuck me!” as we stepped out of air-conditioned environments had been in more tropical climates and we’d not experienced the almost stinging sensation of a dry heat so at least that was something new.

The entrance to Tambo Colorado has a small car park, a small information centre (calling its single room a museum would be a stretch), some toilets at the back of it, and plenty of local salespeople with wares spread out on blankets on the ground or on makeshift stalls. It was very interesting to see some of the people selling trinkets whose bloodlines were clearly native Indian although I refrained from photographing them. That’s the sort of action that ends up with you being bullied or guilted into buying a stone on a string for the cost of a weekend break on the Isle of Wight.

An inevitable wait for fellow passengers to use the loos then a quick look around the information centre to see archaeological finds and models of the site as it originally looked before we ran the gauntlet of salespeople and headed into the Tambo Colorado complex.

Tambo Colorado was built in the late 1400s and was an administrative centre located along the main route to the coast. This was during the reign of Pachacuti who has an absolutely fascinating (bloody, naturally) history and if you don’t know anything about his rise to power and formation of the Inca Empire then please do read that link.

We began our tour in the open square which gave us a good sense of the scale of the complex as well as a better understanding of how the structure was arranged. The long wall along the northern edge with its regular niches was particularly nice but it was to a ceremonial platform that we were first taken and where some of the activities performed there were explained. The Inca used these platforms as connections to other planes (the world of above, the world of here, and the world of the dead). Originally constructed to be places for ceremonial liquid offerings they were also used to conduct astronomical observations and, as you’d probably already guessed based on your own idea about South American Indian tribes, sacrifices did come into fashion for a while too, though whether any took place at Tambo Colorado because of its administrative function is not known.

So, Terry, looks like your report on trade between the coast and highlands is late.
Yeah, a touch of the old upset tummy. I’ll have it you next Tuesday if that’s okay.
I’m afraid not. I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.
You don’t mean…?
Yeah, sorry about this. To the ceremonial platform for you. Joan, would you bring my knife?

A feature of Inca architecture was immediately obvious, that being the trapezoidal shape present in doorways, niches, and windows. Even the open square of Tambo Colorado that separated the main, large, northern buildings from the smaller southern section was arranged in the shape of a trapezoid. The significance of the shape is not known for certain but one possible explanation is that it is less susceptible to earthquake damage, Peru being quite prone to this particular form of natural disaster. This seems plausible when referring to wall-construction techniques as Peruvian walls are generally made with irregularly-shaped blocks that resist movement, and ancient structures have been shown to have broadly trapezoidal forms within that context. For a door or window, though, it’s less obvious that this is a stronger form. A second explanation is that this is the work of aliens. It’s the sort of thing they’d do.

The Inca painted the adobe walls of Tambo Colorado in horizontal ochre bands coloured red, yellow, white, and black because good taste was lacking in the region. Or it’s what the aliens wanted. Whatever the reason was, the dry climate means that a lot of the original material still remains on the walls now (mostly the red and yellow) and, while it’s all cracked and faded, just standing in the ruins of the complex makes it easy to imagine how it all looked when it was new. Pretty gaudy, but probably quite impressive.

Incan architecture tends to be sympathetic to the lay of the land so the levels present in Tambo Colorado were built up as the ground naturally rose towards the hills surrounding it. This, of course, gave plenty of opportunities to see views out over the tops of some of the walls but also meant that exploring inside would sometimes require climbing or descending steps. Interestingly, while the general form of the trapezoid continued to be present in every room we were taken through, there seemed to be no real design to the room layouts; corridors were narrow, barely able to squeeze two past at a time, and rooms would appear out of nowhere in various sizes and configurations. This could have been a defensive measure, designed to slow down any attacking force, or the architect might just have been half-cut on pisco sour when he came up with the plans. But never rule out alien influence too.

One room stood out from the others, this being one with a deep recess in the floor. This was the bath or pool and I imagine it would have been a very popular location in the complex on days like the one we visited. How long the water would stay in the pool before it soaked into the ground or how the pool was filled in the first place was something I didn’t hear. Due to the small size of the room we could only enter in groups of half a dozen and I missed the explanation, if there was one, quite possibly when I was explaining to an American woman that yes, I understood she wanted to come into the room too but that unless she had access to molecular phase-shifting technology that would allow me to pass through her she was going to have to back out of the doorway first so I could make room. People, eh?

We had some spare time at the end of the guided part of the tour of Tombo Colorado where we could either head back to the toilets, museum, salespeople, or bus or we could wander around a little more on our own. We elected to do the latter although I was careful not to head too far into the maze of rooms or onto higher levels we’d not yet seen as my wife gets anxious when she thinks she might get lost. I have learnt that when you’re asked “Do you know where we are?” that the answer should always be “Absolutely! Map in my head. Perfect sense of direction. I can picture where we are to within a metre on a map. Don’t you worry about a thing, we’ve got plenty of time and I know the route out of here and how long it will take.” I think we’ve only really got lost a couple of times and I’m pleased to report this wasn’t one of them.

Tambo Colorado is very exposed on account of none of the roofing structures surviving, and the dry climate in the region made for a very intense heat with almost no shade so our water did not last long despite us taking twice as much as we normally pack for excursions. It was a great experience to visit a place built and occupied by the Inca and I’d definitely recommend it if you’ve an interest in history or are paranoid about fictional alien influences in ancient South American architecture.

Driving Through Pisco

This is not the most attractive part of the world. A lack of rainfall makes for incredibly dusty surroundings and even the greenery that we found mostly inland lacked vibrancy and felt like it was coated with a film of dirt. A fan of shades of beige might yet find this bit of Peru appealing but it’s hard to find anything to say positively about the buildings that occasionally line the roads or form part of the bigger towns or the city of Pisco itself. Far from looking like homes or shops this more closely resembled a tens-of-kilometres-long, sprawling building site, one in which there was once a project to build something but funding, like the land around it, simply dried up. But that appearance is deliberate and it’s there for two reasons.

Firstly, there is a practical reason: earthquakes. Along the western coast of South America is a major fault line. It’s why there are volcanoes in Chile, for instance, and why there are tsunami warnings and evacuation routes on many shorelines. The buildings are kept low as a result, for stability and safety, and the care and attention that might otherwise be given to the way a structure looks is tempered by the realisation that there’s a reasonable chance in a big quake that there will be damage, so maybe don’t worry about it so much.

The second reason is financial: certain tax payments only start having to be made once a building is completed so many buildings never are. You’ll see places with tarpaulins insteads of roofs or you’ll see rebars jutting out of the top floor of homes or businesses, a way of saying “Oh, yeah, no, we’re, er, definitely going to be putting a new level on this building soon, er, just as soon as the, um, funds become available, and, er, yeah, we’re just living in the building on the ground floor for now but, yeah, we’ll really, really finish this house off, like, soon. Ish.”

The video below (temporarily removed) shows a highly-edited view of the drive back from Tombo Colorado through Pisco and towards the Paracas National Reserve and in it you’ll be able to see just how barren the Peruvian landscape is and the state of the buildings. You’ll also be able to spot painted, political advertising on many walls; that’s the large writing mainly in blue and pinky-red on white. One thing we’ve loved about visiting South America on two occasions now is just how politically active the people are. Too many people back home just don’t care enough and will ultimately blame the wrong people – that’s anyone but themselves – when they become victims of that complacency. But you didn’t come here to have me moan about lazy-minded, self-destructive gits; you’re here for shades of beige.

Paracas National Reserve

The landscape became emptier but far more interesting as we drove back into and through the Paracas National Reserve. There was something enchanting about the wide open spaces here and far more clean-looking whiteness on the ground and on the hill tops. If you saw those sorts of colours in colder climates you’d think they were ice or snow but here they were salt deposits.

You might look at the arid photos below and think “Well, I guess there are no slugs there” and you’d probably be right but that’s quite odd that your mind went there. You might more sensibly wonder how anything could really survive or flourish or why this might be a national reserve at all. Even in years with little or no rainfall at all, for part of them this area still springs to life thanks to the local ecosystem, known as the lomas. The water along the Pacific side of South America is very cold on account of the Humboldt current that flows upwards from Antarctica. The land in the northern areas of Chile and into Peru tends to be a lot warmer by comparison and this causes fog banks to form along the coast and drift inland, the moisture then transforming the land much like an oasis in the desert. A wide range of plants, algae, mammals, and birds, therefore, call this part of Peru their home. But possibly not slugs, no.

And, about 75 minutes after we’d left Tambo Colorado, we arrived at – to give it its full name – Terminal Portuario General San Martín. We were out of water, having finished ours off during the excursion, so first order of business back on board was to grab something to quench the thirst and a snack from the International Café.

The Paracas Candelabra

Refreshed inside (thanks to the bars) and out (thanks to the shower) and with dusty shorts having been given a wash (thanks to the shower again) and drying (thanks to having a balcony and bringing along clothes pegs (top cruise tip: bring clothes pegs)) we made our way to the Elite Lounge for some nibbles and another drink but brought along the camera. The reason I did this was because we’d had an announcement over the tannoy by Captain Tuvo in his typically humorous style, stating that since we’d all been very good and got back aboard ship on time he would treat us to a slow pass of the Paracas Candelabra during our departure. This was an unexpected bonus, although I suspect an annoying one for those who’d taken an excursion to see it during the day. As we started to round the northern face of the Paracas peninsula we left the people with whom we’d been sharing a table there (and who, despite showing a lot of interest in the candelabra, thought that photos through the tinted and dirty glass of the nightclub venue would suffice) and headed out onto deck to snap some shots.

The Paracas Candelabra is a prehistoric geoglyph, most likely created by the Paracas people, the Andean society that preceded the Nazca. The famous Nazca Lines are also geoglyphs but the candelabra predates them; pottery fragments from the area put its formation at around 200 BCE, towards the end of their culture. At 181 metres in height, the design – which is over half a metre deep and surrounded by stones – can apparently be seen from almost 20 kilometres away at sea. It’s a testament to the climate conditions of the Ica region of Peru that the geoglyph is still very visible 2200 years after its creation.

Although it’s called the Paracas Candelabra, the actual motif is a matter of debate. Some people claim it is the trident of Viracocha, the creator god in many pre-Inca cultures. Others claim it is the world tree. You can be pretty certain that some cretins will state they’re landing runways for alien UFOs, too, but for now, those scholars who favour it as one of the murder weapons in an early version of Cluedo have the weight of numbers behind them.

After the ship had spent enough time just off the peninsula so that anyone who wanted to take a look and grab some photos could do so, we started to pull away from land on our northwards trek towards the next port, Lima. We kept an eye on the sea for a while as earlier in the day, prior to our excursion, the water around the ship had been teeming with jellyfish and seals, but a chilly wind picked up as we cleared the headland and we soon headed inside.

Evening Food And Drink

To complete this first day in Peru aboard Star Princess, our evening meal and some further evidence of drinking. It was very hot and very dry. We were only thinking of our hydration levels and general health.

Lima, the capital of Peru, was a port where we were notified of an itinerary change a few months before the cruise but it was very much appreciated indeed; instead of an evening departure we would be staying overnight! This changed our plan for the city. Instead of an in-depth cruise excursion to get as much done as possible we opted to break our extended day into three chunks covering some sights, a bit of culture, and the social side of the city: exploring Miraflores on our own, hitting the famous Lima fountain show in the evening, then heading into the city centre overnight.

Well, that was our plan. Lima would have something to say about that.

Port Of Callao, Lima

We were cruising on Princess Cruises‘ Star Princess, a fact you’ll already know if you’ve been reading the rest of this cruise diary series or if you’ve seen the travel portfolio structure at the top of this post or the tags at the bottom. There is something very important that you need to know if you’re cruising into Lima with Princess Cruises and, quite likely, other lines too: you cannot arrange independent travel for yourself at the port of Callao.

This isn’t a case of “nobody’s been able to do it but you’ve got a plucky look about you and just might have the skills” statement; it’s a restriction. And it might be that the restriction is lifted in the future, especially if a new cruise port is built (as we believe is the case), but for now it’s not possible. You are not allowed to walk off the ship unless you are with the cruise line and the cruise line will not drop you off anywhere near Callao. If you’re not on an organised excursion then your daytime activities are limited to the ship, although you can take the free shuttle bus to Miraflores (about 12 kilometres away) or San Miguel (a little closer, but running fewer times) later in the evening when the buses become freed up from their excursion duties. The port area, though, is a no-no. Miraflores and San Miguel are nowhere near the historic centre of Lima so if that’s where you’ve got your heart set on then you have to take public transport from those stops and, importantly, it’s from those stops that you must return; you can’t taxi back to Callao in the evening because you won’t be allowed in the port unless you’re on the cruise’s shuttle bus. If you miss the last shuttle bus then prepare for an extended stay in the Peruvian capital.

In case you’re wondering, the restriction around Callao is because of apparently high levels of crime and past incidences of tourists being mugged. For your safety and to stop the cruise companies getting sued (“My camera was stolen when I wandered down an unlit alley by the dock after midnight. I demand compensation!”) you have to accept that Callao is a port you’re only going to see through a bus window. To be fair, with it being a busy industrial port and the area around it geared up for the business that passes through there’s not a lot to see anyway.

Miraflores

Thus it was that we were off the ship nice and early for our excursion (effectively, a narrated bus ride with free time once we arrived at our destination) to Miraflores, an affluent district of Peru’s capital with clifftop views out over the long, sandy beach of the coastline on the Pacific Ocean. It’s not a place thriving with museums or historical interest with the exception of the pre-Inca ruin of Huaca Pucllana, a pyramidal structure dating to the early centuries CE. Unfortunately, the ruins are closed one day per week and I’ll leave you to guess from the lack of any photos of them as to what day we visited Lima.

Remember me saying that Lima had different things in mind with regards to our day’s plans? Well, it was on the drive to Miraflores that we got our first hint of that. I’ve driven and been driven in many capital cities around the world. Let me tell you: Lima is bloody awful. Or, to be fair, it was when we were there. The traffic was horrendous. The road layouts do not have much room to expand or be improved upon and an underground public transport system is but a dream. Roadworks were a sign that something was being attempted but all it was succeeding in doing was transforming our 12 kilometre drive into nearly an hour of crawling to our destination.

We were glad to reach Miraflores and get off the bus at Larcomar, the district’s shopping mall built into the cliff. Indeed, from where you first step foot in this area you cannot even see the mall as it is all below ground level, but you’re instantly drawn towards it as the roof of the complex serves as a fabulous viewing platform down to the shore and out to sea.

We already had a bit of a plan formed as to what we’d do in Miraflores with two parks being on the agenda for the time we’d have in the area. Having passed one of the parks on the way to Larcomar and deciding it looked even better than we’d expected we decided to head to that one first which would naturally take us in a roughly northwest direction along the cliff top at Miraflores. Even if we hadn’t had an outline of a plan we’d have probably headed that way anyway as we saw something that instantly caught our eyes: a statue of Paddington Bear!

I mean, it’s only Peru’s greatest fictional export dressed in the colours of the union flag! Who else can say they saw Paddington in Peru? This statue was commissioned by the British embassy and was unveiled in 2015, partly to promote the movie at the time but also to celebrate cultural links between the United Kingdom and Peru. If you’re wondering just what cultural links other than Paddington exist between the United Kingdom and Peru then join the club.

We followed the flat but curving clifftop path in conditions that were both hot and, thanks to the proximity to the water, humid. To fend off the onset of sweat for as long as humanly possible I made sure to take plenty of momentary stops in order to photograph the impressive views.

“Ooh, there’s a pier down there!” I said at one point. “We like a pier!”

“We do like a pier, you’re right,” agreed my wife. “But is there an elevator that will take us down and back up the cliff?”

“Not that I can see,” I answered, looking left and right along the cliff edge.

“Then you can fuck right off if you think we’re going to take a look at it.”

Intihuatana Sculpture

Just before we reached Puente “Mellizo” Villena Rey, an attractive bridge crossing a small break in the cliff to allow traffic from the beach area to ascend, we came to Parque Intihuatana, a very small park barely more than a grassy area by the roadside but one with an impressive concrete sculpture. As the park’s name implied, this was the Intihuatana Sculpture, created by sculptor Fernando de Szyszlo in 2014. Intihuatana are symbolic stones used by the Inca in astronomical observations with notable examples existing in Machu Pichu, for instance. As a fan of brutalist design this was a wonderfully pleasing piece of art to see up close.

Parque Del Amor (Love Park)

When I’d first suggested Lima’s Love Park to my wife I’d received a look that conveyed questions and threats in equal measure but I’d quickly explained that there were no hippy connections that I was aware of and it was because it appeared to bear more than a passing resemblance to Park Güell in Barcelona with its mosaic-tiled walls and sculptures that it had appealed to me. She’d already agreed that it would probably be nice to see before we’d driven past it on the way to Larcomar when her enthusiasm ratcheted up a notch further.

We headed past some cacti where I lamented the fact that a plant had been defaced for no good reason (seriously, stop doing that you arseholes), crossed the bridge, and made our way to the park.

If you’ve seen the Joan Martorell and Antoni Gaudí-designed park in Barcelona then, no, Parque Del Amor isn’t a patch on it, either in size or style. But it will be instantly familiar in appearance, it’s still a nice little place to take in, and it’s got far lovelier views, those being of an ocean as opposed to a city. The mosaic designs are nice – you can see some ancient Peruvian tribal influences in some of them – but not spectacular, but it’s still a place that’s worth a stroll around.

The large sculpture in the middle of the park is called El Beso, meaning The Kiss, and is a representation of the sculptor and his wife kissing. It was built in 1993 by Víctor Delfín whose works are often inspired by the Paracas culture, something we’d seen a bit of during our previous day in Peru in the Ica region. This is apparently a popular place to come for wedding photos and on Valentine’s Day.

Leaving the first of the two parks we wanted to explore we retraced our steps, taking us back across the bridge we’d crossed then following the pedestrian path that took us under it so we could start to head away from the coastline.

Kennedy Park And Central Park

The park we were heading for was Parque John F. Kennedy (I’ll leave you to work out who that park was named in honour of) but it was separated from a second park – Parque Central de Miraflores – by a pedestrianised road and you can pretty much treat the two areas as one. The reason we wanted to see this park wasn’t for any historical significance but because it used to be home to hundreds of stray cats, very popular with tourists. Now, prior to our cruise we’d learnt that there had been a programme enacted by the nearby church to find homes for the cats and that this had met with a lot of success, so we knew that there wouldn’t be as many around but we understood there would still be some, and we like cats. We’re cat people. Not in the Nastassja Kinski sense.

If you’ve read any of our previous cruise and travel accounts you might be thinking that travelling around the world and going off to find stray cats isn’t very typical for us and it’s hard to argue with that. The truth is, there wasn’t a huge amount that we could find to interest us in Miraflores; the two things in the area that had initially been high on our list were the ancient ruins (closed) and a brewery that made loads of local ales (a hobby of ours, but one thwarted by its opening times not aligning with our trip) so when we’d searched for other popular activities that weren’t shopping this was pretty much it.

I’m pleased to say that we weren’t disappointed with the cats; there were plenty walking around, laying around, or being made a fuss of by locals and tourists alike.

We weren’t disappointed with the park (or parks) either. There were plenty of shaded spots, lots of places to sit, loads of interesting sculptures or designed elements to break up the area and attract attention, and the spot of greenery in the middle of busy and noisy roads was a welcome oasis in the city.

Alongside Kennedy Park was the Parroquia La Virgen Milagrosa, a Catholic church with towers in a very typical South American style of architecture, renowned for dramatic illuminations inside during services. Fenced off from the parks adjacent to the church was an area specifically for the cats with sleeping spots, sheltered areas, and bowls of water.

Café De La Paz, Miraflores

I’ve mentioned that it was very hot and you might not know this if this is your first time reading one of the fine articles present on this site (I’m not above a little self-promotion every now and then) but we don’t cope well with heat. The park had been relatively cool thanks to the shade of the trees but that just made emerging into the intense sunshine that much worse. We would typically have carried on exploring the streets in search of interest while angling around and back towards the bus stop but a waiter stepping out from Café De La Paz took one look at our beetroot-coloured faces, suggested the shade of his establishment, and we ended up breaking with tradition and going along with it.

We’re cautious with ordering food as, while we’re adventurous in many ways, we know that there are things we don’t like to eat. It’s not just external heat we don’t like; neither of us copes well with chili either and we’re aware that this particular foodstuff that inflicts pain where other edible items have evolved to have flavour instead is popular in this part of the world. So, scanning the menu for something that seemed local and translating the Spanish as best as possible in my head to avoid agony we ended up ordering Butifarra Artesanal. This is a Peruvian speciality, a sandwich made with a local type of ham, avocado, crispy bacon, and lettuce. It took a little while to arrive to be fair but this was because it was all freshly prepared and, importantly, it was absolutely gorgeous.

Of course, we needed something to quench our thirst while we were waiting for the food and Barbarian Red Ale called out to us. We always try to drink local ale if we can and this one – from Cervecería Barbarian, one of the first craft breweries in Lima – was absolutely spot on for us. We lean towards ambers and rubies when it comes to ale and this couldn’t have been more perfect for the day.

Miraflores Street Art

We had time for a gentle walk back to the bus and made every effort to spend our Peruvian Sols in the shops along the way with limited success. However, there was some attractive and generally very good quality street art along the route we took and if we’d had a little more time then I might have explored some of the side roads in order to take a closer look at it.

Arriving at the bus pick-up point with a few minutes to spare we headed down into the Larcomar shopping mall but the high end shops that were there were not really the sort of thing we were looking for and other than an odd sculpture of melting ice lollies there wasn’t anything that we found interesting.

The bus ride back to Callao where Star Princess was waiting for us took longer than the trip out with the bulk of it seemingly just at the port entrance itself thanks to several buses all coming back at once. How we didn’t hit other buses or parked cars along the roads at the port on at least two occasions during this period I’ll never know. It felt like organised chaos, light on the organisation, but did provide some amusement when we found ourselves stranded across rail tracks at one point staring at a train that some people claimed was moving towards us just to wind up fellow passengers.

In total, we spent over two hours on the bus going out and coming back and were deliriously happy to get back onto the ship. In the next post I’ll cover our evening in Lima and how our plans were changed thanks to even worse traffic conditions in Peru’s capital at night.

The evening’s cruise excursion was to see Lima’s fountain light show, more commonly known as the Magic Water Circuit, taking place in the Park of the Reserve. The circuit consists of over a dozen different fountains around the park which currently hold the world record for the largest fountain complex in the world. There is a thrice-nightly laser and picture show on the longest of the fountains and it is this that is the biggest draw for the crowds.

With the fountain light show excursion being one of only two organised excursions off the ship in the evening (the other being a city drive and meal) it was a pretty popular one and there were a lot of buses gathered alongside Star Princess for our 17:00 departure. We boarded and were off at a snail’s pace through the industrial port for obvious safety reasons, but once into the city we… didn’t really pick up much speed either. The Park of the Reserve is about 8 or 9 kilometres from Callao. We’d already had the sheer joy that was spending an hour each way in the morning to get to the slightly farther away district of Miraflores so our expectation was that, at most, it would take us 45 minutes to get to where we needed to be.

But no.

I don’t think I could ever recommend anyone driving in Lima. It is horrendous. Now, there was a mitigating factor for this visit as it was on the same night as a football match taking place in Estadio Nacional, Peru’s national stadium. The biggest problem there is that Estadio Nacional is right next to Parque de la Reserva. Even still, the traffic long before we hit the centre of Lima was awful.

Our excursion included driving past some important buildings with an explanation of the history behind them and this was all still done despite the clock ticking down to when the light show would start. Our bus then had to wait what seemed an eternity for the police – doing their best to direct the rolling traffic jam into free areas – to allow us to park and get out. We got to the park with ten minutes to spare before the start of the 19:15 show. That’s over two hours to get us no more than 9 kilometres from the port in case you failed GCSE maths.

But wait! There are toilets!

Yes, there is a block of toilets just inside the entrance to the park and if you’ve ever been on a cruise ship excursion then you know that any toilets mean a toilet stop for half the people on your bus. And so we waited and looked at the time and stared at the nearby fountains and listened to our guide count how many of us were gathered and try to work out how many were still in a cubicle doing whatever they needed to do that couldn’t possibly have been done on the bus in transit.

Fantasia Fountain

Fantasia Fountain (Fuente de la Fantasia) was the main fountain we’d come to see. This is the 120-metre-long fountain with jets and lights that are synchronised to the laser and picture show. We arrived directly in front of it at the split second that the show started which was a relief for us although I have to wonder whether everyone else who’d taken this cruise excursion with Princess on this night felt the same way as our bus had been one of the first to get out of the port.

The show itself was excellent. Movie projections, music, sound effects, coloured jets, lasers, the works. There were a lot of people around, as you can imagine, but I got a decent view and didn’t block anyone else as I recorded the entire light show on my phone. Indeed, an older, American couple from our bus who were right beside me watched the show on my phone as it was easier for them to see and they told me what a wonderful phone I had as the show came to an end. Yes, I replied, it’s an excellent phone. Of course, you can’t see that video because it was lost in the Great Android Phone Video Sync Foul-Up Of 2019 which we never talk about. I was not thinking how excellent my phone was when that happened.

Tunnel Fountain Of Surprises

With the main laser and video show complete our group was taken on a walk around part of the rest of the water circuit in the park, eventually reaching the Tunnel Fountain Of Surprises (Fuente Túnel de las Sorpresas). This was a long arch of water jets that you could walk through and through which many people did. The “surprise” came from the fact that if you touched a jet of water and interrupted it then the interruption would carry along down the tunnel and spray anyone else ahead of you. A more appropriate name for this fountain might be Tunnel Fountain of Just Go Ahead And Drench Everyone because that’s pretty much all that happened. Lots of laughter, lots of shrieking, lots of people dripping with water emerging from the end, and, in our case, lots of not going anywhere near it because camera equipment is expensive.

Magic Fountain

Heading back towards the park’s entrance in order to return to the bus took us to Magic Fountain (Fuente Mágica). This was probably the singularly most attractive of the fountains we saw with some very nice pulses of light and jets taking place constantly before the water pressure built to shoot a single jet 80 metres high. It was very impressive to watch and with its lighting made for some nice photographs of people silhouetted in front of it.

Return To Callao And Evening Plans

And so we headed outside to hop back on our bus. Except it wasn’t there. Our bus could not get to us because of the traffic and because the police were still routing vehicles away from where they wanted to go. A long wait ensued. Buses were turning up away from where we were standing and people occasionally headed off to see if any of them were ours before returning with heads shaking. After what seemed like a lot longer in the sultry evening climate but what may have been only 20 minutes we got a wave from our guide to follow her and we traipsed off around a corner and down a road to finally board the bus to get us back to Callao. The best thing that can be said about the drive back was that it was definitely quicker than coming out but still quite tedious and far too long for our liking. By the time we were back at Star Princess we’d spent close to five hours on buses during our day in Lima.

We had originally planned to take the free shuttle bus from the port back out to Miraflores in order to enjoy the delights that Lima after-dark had to offer (and we’d set our sights on a local brewery in the area about 15 minutes from where the bus stop would drop us) but the combination of not wanting to spend another 90 minutes of our lives (best guess) aboard a bus that day along with discovering that the last bus returning to the port would mean we’d probably only get around 45 minutes to an hour of time in the capital’s pretty district led to us quickly changing our minds. Not only that, but one of the things we really like to do is drink local ales when we visit a new place and we’d already managed that during the morning’s trip. It was disappointing but just one of those things in the grand scheme of things.

So, bad luck for our visit to coincide with major roadworks in the city and a football match in the evening too. We would love to visit Lima and other places in Peru again because it’s somewhere that not a huge amount of cruise ships visit and there is plenty to see. The country is definitely working on improving its cruise port capabilities with better access to Pisco already underway and a dedicated terminal planned in Lima too so give it a few years and I can see us looking into making a return trip. The Lima fountain light show is worth a look if you’re in the city and it’s priced very reasonably if this is something you’re doing on your own; on a cruise excursion I’d maybe check football schedules ahead of time, though, before making any firm commitments.

The scale of the commercial docks of Lima was evident in the hazy morning sunshine and it was further evidence that as a cruise destination this city may not be quite ready just yet; sharing the industrial docks and battling the traffic in and out of the port area presently adds a painful overhead to any visit. However, we were told that a dedicated cruise terminal was planned or was already being constructed so we’d love to come back in a few years to see what a difference that makes as it’s a country with a lot of appeal.

Clearing the harbour entrance, we met a flotilla of fishing vessels. Living in a naval port we see a lot of naval vessels but not very many fishing boats so the behaviour of them is something that is a bit of an unknown to us. I suppose I’ve always assumed that the activities of a trawler are solitary so seeing so many vessels together in what most closely resembled some gathering as if for war came as a bit of a surprise.

Fishing business was clearly booming in the waters off Peru, and not just for the humans aboard their boats. In addition to dolphins (a little too far away to get decent photos) we found our ship accompanied for a long period by pelicans skimming over the ocean’s surface, looping around Star Princess, switching from port to starboard every few minutes. I can only guess that the ship ploughing through the water either disturbed the fish and brought them closer to the surface or it provided some form of cover for the pelicans in search of a snack or pelicans have terrible eyesight and mistook the ship for the Pelican Queen. We occasionally saw one dive out of the air and into the Pacific but whether any were successful at what we assume was fishing and not just extreme showering I can’t say, nor did I manage to have my camera on me and pointed in the right direction when it happened.

Star Princess Sea Day Events

With Peru behind us we gave some thought to some extended time aboard Star Princess. This would be the first of three sea days now with us due to cross the equator late the following day. Having spent the best part of five hours in traffic the day before it’s no exaggeration to say that three days at sea sounded like absolute heaven.

The Princess Patter didn’t give us any must attend events but that was fine with us. We know what to expect at sea these days on a Princess ship and we’re happy so long as the pool is open, we’ve got our books, and some unnatural disaster hasn’t struck the ship and turned all the bars into rubble.

Heading past the piazza early on I stopped for a while to watch the paper plane competition. Passengers taking part in this activity needed to fly their creation through a hoop and achieve the greatest distance. I didn’t stay around long enough to see what the prize was but the entrants’ crafts included the expected array of darts that dove straight into the ground and those that almost took the eyes out of people seated around the ground floor level of the area so provided for a decent amount of entertainment.

Later in the day the piazza hosted Afternoon Grooves with the band Static. Hailing from Guyana, I have to say that they are by a country mile the best band we’ve seen perform on a cruise ship. You can see their Facebook page here – Static Band – which will tell you what ships they are due to be performing on, and if you get a chance to see their great singing, excellent musical ability, and infectious (and sweaty) energy of Marlon for yourself then you won’t be disappointed.

Food And Drink

Of course we had a drink or two. Possibly even more than two. In fact, this was one of those very rare occasions where we drank more than we’d need to in order to make a drinks package worth the cost. Of course, for this to really work we’d need to drink this much every day, port or at sea, and while I’m always up for a challenge I am going to have to insist that you foot the bill for it if you want me to take part.

Early afternoon, following a swim and something to eat from the poolside grill, our first drink was taken on our balcony so that we could read to the sound of the sea rolling past and keep an eye out for more marine life. I know there are people who like inside cabins and who say they can always head to an outside deck if they want sea air but there’s nothing like having your own balcony, the shelter, the peace, the nobody stealing your chair when you stand up. A little later we hit Vines for some wine as we enjoyed the venue a lot on this cruise and Zander, who was managing it, had cemented himself as the perfect host from the very first day aboard. We’d often chat to him if it wasn’t busy in there and he constantly tried to get us to take his tapas – free if you’re drinking wine – for which we mostly made excuses to skip but on occasion, like this day, gave in to make him happy.

Early evening found us in our regular haunt, Crooners, and the Wheelhouse Bar, just for a change, for cocktails. The Wheelhouse Bar was always quiet and we remarked what a difference two cruises a few years apart had made. When we’d sailed on Star Princess for our 2016 cruise in South America the BOGO promotion had still been in place (buy one drink, get another one the same for $1 extra, for one hour only in certain venues around the ship at certain times of the day). That had been a great way to get people to move around the ship more and we’d had loads of enjoyable times meeting up with groups in the Wheelhouse or Skywalkers or Explorers. When Princess stopped that promotion they promised they would replace it with something else but they never did. I guess they looked at the bottom line and figured they didn’t need to and assumed everyone would gradually forget it had ever been a thing. The result a few years on is a club now typically devoid of any atmosphere at night and a sorely underused bar in an otherwise decent location. I’m sure the company knows what it’s doing and I refuse to comment on any sarcasm you may read into that statement.

Dinner was lovely, as usual, and made even more so by the appearance of key lime pie for dessert. That’s almost an obligatory dessert choice when we see it on the menu. After dinner we made sure we were up in Skywalkers for 22:00 when the 70s Disco Hour was due to start. Is there anything nicer than enjoying the sounds of Sylvester and Chic and KC & The Sunshine Band while slurping cocktails at sea? Maybe, but this was still a very fine end to a very relaxing day and all with the promise of another one to come.

Sea Day Princess Patter

Planning for a sea day aboard a Princess ship begins the night before when the Princess Patter is delivered to your stateroom. Our conversation when browsing the programme of events for the day to come went something like:

Free mimosas in Effy at ten.
In the morning?
In the morning.
Too dangerous.
There’s Zumba at ten-fifteen in Vista.
Get lost.
More cowboy poetry at eleven-fifteen.
It’s a possible.
Rum tasting in Vines at twelve-thirty.
I don’t want to be on the rum that early, either.
Shackleton lecture at one.
That could be good.
Ladies pamper party at half three.
Like nappies?
Not Pampers. Pamper.
Pass. What’s the music theme in Skywalkers this evening?
Our favourite.
Please don’t say it’s latin fiesta.
It’s latin fiesta.
Guess we know where we’re not going tonight.

We ended up doing pretty much nothing from the arranged events aboard Star Princess. After a late start with subsequent late breakfast we picked up the daily sudoku and crossword puzzles from outside the internet café at the bottom of the piazza and, with breaks for trivia when we were around for them, our day fell into the fairly regular pattern of reading in the morning and afternoon with a swim around lunchtime followed by either a pizza slice from Prego Pizzeria or a burger or hot dog from the Trident Grill after that.

Most of our reading time was spent either in Crooners to soak up the atmosphere of people buzzing around the heart of the ship or, when that got too noisy, in Explorers.

Later in the afternoon we hit the International Café for a bite to eat (toasted paninis and a pistachio cake), then took our food across the floor of the piazza to Vines to wash that down with a glass of wine.

Star Princess Promenade Deck

Another conversation.

I think I might take the camera and head off for a circuit of the promenade deck.
Okay.
Do you want a break from reading?
Nope.
So you just want to stay here?
Yep.
I’ll head off on my own then.
Do you want me to come? Is that what you’re saying? Do you want me to put down my Kindle and walk around with you while you take pictures?
No, it’s fine, I’m sure I’ll be fine, I’m sure nothing will happen to me alone on this ship filled with strangers in the middle of the ocean on the other side of the world.
Good. Don’t forget your cruise card.

And so I went for a lap around the promenade deck with just my camera for company. Although I was on my own this time, this was the cruise we probably spent more of our time on the promenade deck than any other except possibly our first cruise aboard Diamond Princess when we had an inside cabin. The reason for that was the sheer amount of wildlife visible in the water. During this cruise we managed to see flying fish, dolphins, turtles, jellyfish, seals, rays, and sea snakes alongside the ship at some point. While we had a balcony cabin, that limited our view to just one side of the ship so we found ourselves frequently popping out onto the promenade if we were on deck seven just to chance a look or whenever there would be an announcement over the ship’s speakers that dolphins had been spotted.

Star Princess is a Grand-class ship and this design features a complete wraparound promenade deck of approximately a third of a mile in length. A lot of the newer ships only feature partial promenade decks, encouraging walkers to head up to the top decks instead, but on this class of vessel you can often find people completing circuits of the promenade to hit a target offset of food overindulgence of some description. During my photographic bimble of a single lap I was probably passed by the same people two or three times.

If this view doesn’t make you feel instantly calm then cruising simply isn’t for you.

The promenade deck circuit isn’t all on one level. You’ll need to climb some steps to deck eight around the bow of the ship. On most ships in the fleet this is a straightforward ascension up one level but on Star Princess (as well as Grand Princess and Golden Princess) the promenade walkway then juts out slightly to accommodate four slightly longer room designs at this point of the ship on Emerald Deck. Whereas these rooms are classed as Ocean View on other ships because they have windows only, here they include balconies. As you can see from the photos, they don’t afford a huge amount of privacy, but for some extra space to sit out and enjoy the sea views with only occasional heads atop bodies stomping past to distract then they could be a good option for people who don’t like to go far from their rooms to all the bars. I can appreciate that sentiment even if I don’t subscribe to it. The one thing I really like about this extended section of the promenade deck is the pleasing photography compositions it provides for without people, chairs, or overhanging tender boats and lifeboats with which to contend.

Lido Deck

Giving my wife more time to miss me I then took advantage of the fabulous weather in this part of the Pacific and headed up to the top deck for a quick circuit with my camera there too. Did I already have photos of most of this? Yes. Was I likely to take even more photos in the future? Also yes.

Loads of people were out and about enjoying the sunshine on the sea but, as is often the case on Princess ships (at least on the cruises we tend to choose), there was plenty of room around the outside pool and nobody at all up on the sun terrace. Perhaps people don’t like bathing next to giant white orbs. Perhaps I should take advantage of my Irish heritage, bulk up on food before the next cruise, and see if I can elicit the same response from other cruisers too.

The Princess Cruises Sea Witch logo looked gorgeous against the ship’s funnel housing. Completing the walk around the aft of the ship I realised for the first time that the logo faced different directions on the port and starboard sides. I’d never noticed before but suppose I must have assumed that since it was a logo it would be the same on both sides of the ship. Obviously not the case, and clearly the same reversal of the logo takes place on the ship’s bow where the Sea Witch is also painted.

One day I shall endeavour to have a game of outdoor chess on a Princess ship. It’s taken me over ten years to persuade my wife to pick up a paddle and return a ball on a table tennis table and to take part in the shortest game of shuffleboard ever and those are activities she doesn’t care about one way or another; she claims she doesn’t like chess and has no interest in learning it so the chess match might still be a way off. However, I’m patient and persuasive. Just look at the sterling job I did in getting her to accompany me on this photo walk around Star Princess. Oh.

Even though I’d not spotted any sealife during the promenade deck portion of my time outside with the camera on this day I did manage to finally capture a frigate bird that had been circling around the top deck just as I was about to head back to the room. I’m no birder but I really enjoy seeing wildlife you don’t typically spot at home.

Crown Grill On Star Princess

The dress code for the evening on the ship was formal but we didn’t bother as we had reservations at the Crown Grill speciality dining venue. I’ve nothing against formal wear but a tuxedo does not make for the most comfortable way to eat and when it comes to Princess’s steak house you really want to feel comfortable. We were still smart, though; we’re not animals.

We always enjoy the Crown Grill (well, except for that time aboard Royal Princess) and this was another great meal with great service. The quality of the food in the speciality dining locations on Star Princess probably rates as the best aboard any ship to date.

For our appetisers I chose the Hand-cut Beef Filet Tartare (Plancha Sear, Fried Quail Egg, Smoky Dressing, Crispy Polenta Sticks) while my wife picked Black Tiger Prawn And Papaya Salpicon (Mustard Seed Aioli).

We both had the Shrimp And Pancetta Bisque (Chickpea Croutons) for our soup course.

We both also had the 8oz Filet Mignon (rare, because anything else is a crime against steak) and selected Garlic And Herb French Fries to share, with Creamed Spinach for me and Sautéed Wild Mushrooms for my wife as side dishes. We had a little of all the fabulous flavoured salts because they’re all so good.

Dessert for both of us was The Crown Dependence, the Executive Pastry Chef’s Sampling of all the featured desserts on the menu.

Crossing The Equator

We didn’t finish our wine at the table in the Crown Grill which is quite unusual for us, but this gave us the chance to take the bottle back to our room and head out onto the balcony to drink it under a bright moon at midnight. We’d talked about doing something like this anyway as it was around this time that the ship was crossing the equator. The traditional ceremony wouldn’t be until the following day (and will be covered in the next post in this cruise diary series) but this felt pretty special as a private little ceremony of our own and marked a lovely end to another relaxing day at sea aboard Star Princess.

Sea Day Morning

The morning was spent doing typical sea day morning stuff – breakfast, trivia, sudoku, crossword, a bit of reading – but it started with a sea bird cruising on the air currents alongside the ship as we opened up our balcony door first thing to take our first look out to the Pacific Ocean of the day. As I’ve said on numerous occasions, I’m not a birder but I do like to see what evolution has produced around the world and this was unusual-looking enough for me to snap a few shots. Determining just what sort of bird it was has proven to be difficult because searches for “white and black sea bird” or “white sea bird, black wings, black head” or variations on that theme produce ridiculous numbers of results. I welcome any suggestions from readers of this page should they ever be forthcoming.

Crossing The Line Ceremony

As our Princess Patter proudly announced:

Be it now proclaimed by the Call of Conch and Nautilus throughout the latitudes and longitudes of our Oceanis Domain that we, Neptune, Ruler of the Seven Seas, King of the Secret Currents, Lord of the Boundless Waves, Master of the Tides, High Constable of the Coral Caverns and Outermost Reaches of the Deep, do hereby sanction and affirm that our most noble Crossing of the Equator has fallen upon us. Come watch the action on the Lido Deck as the pollywogs who have never crossed the Equator become the “Shellbacks” with King Neptune and his Royal Court.

The early morning cloud had mostly burned off as the afternoon approached so we made sure to cover ourselves in Factor 30 before heading up to the main pool. Arriving about half an hour before the equator-crossing ceremony was scheduled to start we discovered that the event was a popular one and finding a decent viewing spot was already a tough task. However, I knew where I wanted to be and that still had some space; right beside the main camera filming the ceremony for the ship’s DVD of the cruise. I wanted this spot for two reasons: firstly, I knew it would have a decent angle of the goings-on around the pool area because this is something the cruise line would have done on numerous occasions before; secondly, there was far less chance of us being filmed from this location. In case you’ve never noticed, you shouldn’t ever see any photos of the pair of us on this site or online. It’s best for everyone.

While it was extremely warm out on the deck and with the sun almost directly overhead there was also a welcome breeze that made it slightly more tolerable. This, though, did make setting up the court area for the ceremony a little tricky as the various sheets that were covering some of the carts and tables needed to be taped down to stop them flying off. The band kept the crowd entertained with some music during this process and we even had Captain Tuvo out and performing Y.M.C.A. along with most of the passengers. Interestingly, it looked like the captain was the only person in the world who’d not heard the song or performed the dance before, or the skills he had developed commanding ships had been offset by a complete inability to hold a rhythm in his head. Regardless, it did make the wait before the ceremony a very entertaining one.

And so the ceremony began, hosted by cruise director Fernando Cunha dressed as a pirate. No, I don’t know why.

The Crossing The Line ceremony has existed in some form or another with many of the world’s navies for centuries. Each country has its own take on the ritual but with Star Princess being operated by Princess Cruises, an American company, the line-crossing we experienced featured a lot of references from American traditions. Those who have not crossed the equator are referred to as Pollywogs while those who have are Shellbacks and it is the former group who need to undergo the initiation at the hands of the latter in the Court Of King Neptune.

Various groups of people were introduced to the waiting crowd. King Neptune himself, of course, along with his, er, beautiful wife, plus Captain Tuvo would be the judges and jury; cutlass-wielding pirate-barbers, a crazed surgeon, and assistants were there to carry out the judgements of the court.

A number of pollywogs from the passengers were then brought before the court one at a time to hear accounts of the crimes for which they’d been accused. With this being a cruise ship the charges were often cruise-related, such as heinously not washing hands before entering the buffet, crimes which received boos from the gathered crowd. No defence was asked for or mounted by each of the accused but you have to remember that we were in international waters and the laws of the land did not apply, so King Neptune found each passenger guilty – and rightly so – and justice was summarily dispensed. This mostly involved getting covered in coloured goo and having it shaved off with a cutlass but there were some different punishments too, including kissing another passenger’s stomach while blindfolded and an enjoyably grisly ritual disembowelling by the surgeon with entrails and other body parts tossed out from behind the protective sheets towards the crowd.

It wasn’t just passenger pollywogs who were processed in King Neptune’s court. Crew members yet to become shellbacks were also brought before the judges and subjected to the same messy treatment.

At the end of the crossing the line ceremony officers who were crossing the equator for the first time were ducked in the sea. As you’re not allowed to throw anything overboard on a cruise ship this activity took place in the next best thing, the swimming pool. Captain Tuvo joined his officers for reasons only he knows. Perhaps he was hot. Perhaps he just liked getting wet. Perhaps he wanted to give everyone some idea what colour his underwear was when his uniform got soaked through. He’s Italian and nothing would surprise me.

The ceremony concluded with us all being declared Honourable Shellbacks while the victims of the trials cleaned themselves up as best they could. We were then invited to head down to the deck where those of us who wished to do so could kiss the fish that had been left out under the sun throughout the ceremony. We decided to give that a miss.

In the evening we received certificates to mark that we’d crossed the equator. We’ll try not to grimace too much at the date format and pretend that it’s some Court of King Neptune tradition too.

The Crossing The Line ceremony was immense fun and lasted about half an hour. Because it was popular, though, a lot of people – ourselves included – were out a lot longer than that and standing throughout, and because of the intense sunshine at that latitude it’s something you need to be prepared to be a little bit uncomfortable during. Indeed, at one point during the ceremony we heard a loud thump from behind us as a fellow passenger passed out and hit the deck. He was treated very quickly. If you get a chance to watch or partake in the fun of crossing the equator on a cruise ship then definitely do so but be prepared to get there early if you want a seat and make sure you’re protected from the sun.

Afternoon Activities On Star Princess

As the ceremony came to an end we decided to get some lunch in the International Café at the bottom of the piazza. Although we hadn’t been that far from the Horizon Court buffet or the Trident Grill this felt like a better option as we wouldn’t have to compete with half the ship dispersing from the top deck to get something to eat too. Pie and cookies for the lady; toasted panini and cake for the gentleman.

Allowing some time for food to go down we then took a swim because that’s what we do on cruise ships in the afternoon. Our second attempt at trivia that day was a success with victory leading to winning Princess-branded magnetic clips. In case you’re not aware, cruise ship cabin walls are magnetic so you can simply place the clip on them and use it to hold information such as the Princess Patter or port information for the day ahead.

We celebrated continuing our streak of at least one trivia win on every Princess cruise we’ve been on by grabbing a glass of wine in Vines where Zander persuaded us to make his chef happy by accepting a complimentary plate of sushi. If you’re drinking wine in Vines then sushi or tapas is free in the late afternoon. We’re still not sold on sushi, despite trying it now on the last two cruises with Princess, but you can’t fault the quality of the preparation.

The final event of note in the afternoon occurred when we popped into the Effy store off the piazza; they were having another one of their regular raffles and we hadn’t really taken a good look at what was on offer by this point in the cruise so figured it couldn’t hurt to have a nose around. I know the sort of thing my wife likes and I spotted a black and white diamond ring that we asked the sales assistant to take a closer look at; this was mostly because I couldn’t see the price but didn’t want to ask as my expected high-pitched shriek of a response of “How much!?” would be the sort of thing that would see me receiving a stern lecture back in the privacy of our cabin afterwards.

Two things then happened while the assistant was explaining that this was a 14-karat white gold ring with just under 2.5 carats of black and white diamonds: firstly, the ring fit my wife perfectly which triggered deep in me an “Uh oh!” that only passing whales could detect and sympathise with; secondly, my barely-concealed look of terror at glancing at the price must have been picked up by the assistant who quickly applied several sudden discounts because we were in the northern hemisphere now and we were English and the manager was feeling generous and sales had been good that month and the moon was in the right position for diamond price reductions and so on. Anyway, my wife got a new ring out of it is what I’m leading towards here.

Evening Activities On Star Princess

The evening was accompanied by more drinking, but you’d already guessed that.

Another excellent dinner was taken in the main dining room. We have found on previous cruises that while Princess food is very good quality, generally-speaking, there are some meals or elements of meals that you see repeated a lot, especially if you cruise often. That’s understandable to a large extent and it’s never been a problem for us but we were pleased to see far more variety in what was offered on this Star Princess cruise. In fact, as I’ve previously mentioned during the travel diary entries for this trip, this particular cruise had overall the best food we’ve had during any of our cruises.

To conclude the evening, for the first time on a Princess cruise we were able to enjoy a Movies Under The Stars experience without several layers of clothing and blankets. We’d been unlucky up until this point on previous trips in that when the weather was nice the movies didn’t appeal and when the movies were good the weather wanted us to suffer for it. A balmy night beside the pool, water gently lapping at the edges because of the slightest of rolls and pitches of the ship; a full moon above; cocktails in easy reach; the odd but oddly-enjoyable Robin Hood movie starring Jamie Foxx and Taron Egerton. It was a lovely end to a fabulously enjoyable sea day.

The next day would see us arrive in Costa Rica and cruise diary coverage from there will start in the next post in this travel portfolio series.