The first of the Canary Islands we approached will come as no surprise to you because the likelihood of you landing on this paragraph of text without knowing the title of this page is so ridiculously small I’m just not going to entertain the possibility. We opened the curtains to our cabin to see we were on the final approach to Santa Cruz de Tenerife, the capital of the island of Tenerife. Directly across from us on the sail into the port we could see a couple of AIDA cruise ships seemingly at anchor just off the coast and assumed that we might be joining them with potentially tender boat operations to follow but it was to the main cruise terminal we headed instead.

We will often take excursions when we travel, and especially on the first visit to any destination, because we like to get to know a place before wondering if there are things we’d prefer to see on our own, and thus it was at Tenerife too. In fact, we’d seen an excursion we really liked the look of because it would include two of our favourite things: an observatory and a volcano. We’d previously visited an observatory in Chile – the Cerro Tololo Inter-American Observatory in Coquimbo – and we love spotting volcanoes when we travel. The trip to the Teide Observatory would be right up our street…

… only the Cumbre Vieja volcanic ridge was erupting on the island of La Palma during our visit and scientists wanted to monitor it using the solar telescopes we had been due to visit. Shakes fists at scientists.

The result of all this was that our excursion was changed. No more observatory, and instead a more general visit to Teide National Park. Oh well.

After a reasonable drive up winding roads climbing up hills, and with a running commentary on the island’s geology and history we stopped at an observation point that not only afforded some views across to the volcano that gives this national park its name, but also the observatory that we should have been visiting – thanks for that – and exposed geological formations showing how layers of different minerals were laid down over time and then pushed up by tectonic shifts and volcanic eruptions on the island.

Ah, what could have been.

Our viewpoint was to the east of Teide. In addition to being a volcano, Teide is both the highest point in Spain and the highest point of any island in the Atlantic. If you look at the photo below then you should be able to make out cable car pylons along the left edge so it is possible to ride to close to the summit, and if you’re keen on walking then a limited number of permits to walk to the top of Teide – at 3715 metres above sea level – are issued each day. Cruise excursions did include the option of taking the cable car up the volcano but you would have needed to have booked those fairly early as they’re popular, and if you’ve had the misfortune to have your actual excursion cancelled at the last minute and swapped for something else like a certain person writing this sentence you might be loosely acquainted with, then you’re shit out of luck. We weren’t that bitter though, as we’ve ridden a chairlift up a volcano before, don’t you know? Yeah, we’re a bit fancy.

The next stop on our drive through Teide National Park was at Portillo Alto. This small hamlet mostly consisted of a restaurant, some government-run lodgings, a small shop, and some parking spots. The primary reason for stopping, though, was because it had public toilets. We do understand that as people get older they can’t go quite as long without needing a pee, but it still puzzles us when we see some make a rush for the toilets during an excursion stop, then immediately grab themselves a coffee afterwards. Do you people have no comprehension of biology and chemistry at all? As for us, we simply stretched our legs and admired a little of the Tenerife landscape until our group started to climb back aboard the bus.

Continuing with the theme of Not Quite What Was Intended that formed this cruise excursion on Tenerife, our next stop was supposed to be to La Ruleta Vista Point. In fact, we did drive there, but the area consists of a road with a roundabout at the end of it for turning, and with parking all along the road for buses, cars being expected to go elsewhere. Well, they may have been expected to go elsewhere but they didn’t, which meant the road was a chaotic mess of cars blocking the buses, buses queueing and struggling to turn around, and us being sat on the bus for over ten minutes before the guide decided we’d try what should have been the last stop first then come back to this spot.

Off we set for Zapato de La Reina, also known as The Queen’s Shoe. You can immediately see why from the photos below as the erosion of this particular rock formation has left a natural arch resembling a high-heeled piece of footwear. If you’ve ever fantasised about being a tiny human trapped on a planet full of giant women – and statistically-speaking, around fifty percent of the sorts of people who read this will have – then this is the place to visit.

Ten minutes of admiring the landscape – and it is surprising just how attractive mostly dry and rocky, undulating hills dotted with tough-looking bushes and grasses is – followed by another ten minutes of our bus trying to reverse out of the car park because some car had thoughtlessly parked where it fancied instead of where it should have been – again; I’m sensing a theme here – which then caused tailbacks along the road by the viewpoint.

Seriously, people, tourists hiring cars, whatever: just, please, have just the slightest bit of consideration for others when you’re travelling, and especially if you’re travelling to somewhere popular. If it’s a spot you’re not supposed to park in then here’s a crazy idea: don’t park in that spot. There’s probably a reason for it even if you’re too lacking in imagination to think what that might be. I know nobody who’s actually the sort of complete arsehole who thinks rules apply to other people and God forbid that you should have to walk a little further or maybe wait a little longer for something! will ever read this, and I know I’m just shouting into the void here, but there’s a therapy in that action. I’m trying to reduce the blood pressure that’s been raised just recalling how infuriating it was on this trip to lose a solid 20-30 minutes of our paid excursion because of other people’s selfishness. Some people don’t have websites like this and they can’t vent in the same way I am. Those people might die. Every time you park like a prick you might kill someone. Murderer.

Anyhoo…

Back to La Ruleta Vista Point we went, and after what looked like another fruitless attempt to find a space, but seemingly with the approval of a person wearing a police uniform or other uniform indicating officialdom in some capacity at the location, our bus driver said “Fuck it! Everyone off, and I’ll wait here in the middle of the road!” He said that silently, in his head, and in Spanish, which I don’t speak, but sometimes you just know from the slump of a pair of shoulders and the smallest shake of a head.

La Ruleta is situated almost directly due south of Mount Teide on Tenerife and so it provides good views of the volcano if that’s what you’re looking for. But the real reason that this area of the relatively flat basin beneath Teide is so popular with tourists is not so much the mountain, but rather the rock formations. These are the Roques de García.

Rocks in distinctive shapes acquire names over time, and the rocks in this part of the national park were no exception. People with cameras and with tinnitus who are easily distracted tend to not pay a lot of attention to what’s being said by guides about those rocks and names, and this was also an occasion where no exception was to be found. I have a vague recollection of having one of the rocks pointed out and a name attached to it along with a description like “And these are the two mythical lovers who are holding one another and gazing into each other’s eyes” and thinking “Ha! Yeah, no, it’s just a pointy stone but I can see that intense dehydration out here might affect a person.”

In the photos below you can see some of the flat landscape between Teide (which would be to the right of these pictures) and Pico Viejo, another high peak and part of the chain of mountains visible. This is the Las Cañadas caldera and the different colouration of the ground you can see illustrates the split in the caldera caused by tectonic and volcanic activity of the two mountains either side of it. It’s this which also led to the formation of the rocks.

In a shocking example of me having a bit of a search online I have found the names of two of the rock formations in Roques de García that I managed to take photos of during our Teide National Park tour. In the foreground below you can see El Torrotito which Google helpfully translates as “el torrotito” so many thanks for that, giant technological behemoth. The rock behind it with the narrow base supporting the bulk above is called Roque Cinchado or “Stone Tree” and it’s considered a symbol of Tenerife, having previously appeared on banknotes.

We’ve never been to the Vasquez rocks in southern California, but based on its many appearances in TV, and most notably Star Trek as far as I’m concerned, the rock formations at La Ruleta felt a lot like a European version of them. I could easily see a Spanish Captain Kirk fighting a Spanish Gorn amongst the arid, appealing, attractive landscape. Perhaps over the Gorn’s terrible car parking that had forced the Enterprise to circle around for a while looking for a spot to stop.

Our Teide National Park excursion on Tenerife came to an end and we headed back across the island towards the port and our waiting cruise ship, with just one more stop at Portillo Alto for those whose coffees they’d had last time at the hamlet had now worked their way through their systems and who were in desperate need to relieve themselves.

So, what did we think about this excursion? We got to see impressive landscapes and a volcano from a distance. And we like those things. We also got to see some lovely rock formations in a caldera. And it turned out that we like that too. The biggest disappointment would be that we didn’t visit the observatory, of course, but that’s not in the hands of the tour organisers or the cruise line so I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it at all. There was a fair bit of driving but we knew this anyway. It’s the small price you have to pay to get to see some interesting things sometimes, and the commentary on the bus took us through a range of topics relating to the island including its economy, some weird Scottish immigrants connection, and numerous other things, so it was educational and enjoyable. Issues with “other people” and their parking is again not the fault of the tour guide or driver, but it felt like it was something that was to some extent predictable given just how horrible and selfish people generally are so it would’ve been nice for a quicker alternative plan to have been enacted in order to give us extra time at the photo stops. But then again, all the plans in the world can’t account for people being dicks.

In the next part of this Ventura travelogue series we’ll be back aboard the ship for the late afternoon and early evening ahead of our sail away to the second of the Canary Islands on this cruise.

We headed up onto the top deck to grab some lunch from the buffet and some obligatory shots of Santa Cruz from Ventura. I did think that the buildings of the port city against the backdrop of the mountainous landscape of Tenerife through patchy clouds of sun and shadow looked very attractive.

We decided to take a wander around the top deck. Views out to sea and the AIDA ships at anchor, as well as a higher viewpoint down to the steamship docked nearby greeted us

In the last of the pictures in the set of photos below there are two interesting pieces of architecture on display: a dark brick building and a curved white structure behind it. The building is the Palacio Insular council headquarters, constructed in 1940 and designed by the architect José Enrique Marrero with a fair dose of Art Deco there as influence. The clock on its tower was commissioned in 1950. The curved white structure beyond that is part of the gorgeous Auditorio de Tenerife, a venue for the arts designed by Santiago Calatrava and inaugurated in 2003. These two structures would be very prominent on the Tenerife coastline when Ventura eventually sailed out later in the day.

We caught some trivia – we didn’t win – then spent some time back in our room, on the balcony with a drink and our books, awaiting Ventura’s departure. Occasional ferries and catamarans popped in and out of the port as the clouds billowed over and the sun began to set. There was a delay in us leaving Tenerife but it either wasn’t announced or we missed the announcement because we were on the balcony. We might have had time to explore ashore after all. There’s always a next time.

Eventually, though, in full darkness, our cruise ship finally pulled away from Santa Cruz de Tenerife, shadowed by the pilot boat and granting us some pretty views back to the council building and the auditorium reminding us of Razer, one of the robots from Robot Wars. The low clouds over the hills and mountains behind the city reflected its orange-hued lights, lending the dusk landscape an ominous, suffocating blanket.

Once Ventura had cleared the port area the combination of night and a bit of a sea breeze made it too chilly to remain outside. Besides, there was eating and drinking to be done.

First up was a visit to the Tamarind Club for a couple of cocktails while listening to Nikki Jayne singing. She was fabulous, and since this cruise she’s gone onto hosting the Limelight Club on Iona, so a step up for her. Edit: and since then she’s become a cruise director with Princess Cruises!

We’d eaten more in the buffet than we’d planned to when we got back aboard Ventura so decided we’d try something a little smaller than a main dining room meal for dinner, opting to eat in the Glass House instead. A lighter meal was the plan, but somehow we probably ended up eating more than if we’d just stuck to the complimentary food option instead. It was all very good, though.

We treated ourselves to a nightcap before heading back to our room reasonably early as we’d have a fairly early start the following morning on an excursion on the second of the Canary Islands we’d be visiting, Lanzarote.