It was another day with blue sky and blue ocean as far as the eye could see but clouds punctuated the view, the temperature had dropped several degrees overnight, and the wind had picked up. The mostly pancake-flat Pacific we’d experienced for the majority of the cruise had some definite motion to it now and there was a bite in the air as we stepped outside to catch the morning view from the balcony.

Breakfast done and trivia done in the morning (dreadful again) but with nothing to thrill us in the Princess Patter beyond that I picked up my camera.

Last day. Last chance to look around the ship. Do you…

No.

And so I took a walk around Star Princess on my own to snap some final photos of the ship, leaving my wife in a seat at Crooners to read. With an “I won’t be long” from me and an eye-roll from her I headed down the steps to start at the bottom of the piazza.

The first thing to catch the eye were the netted balloons all ready for the farewell party and balloon drop event later that evening. This isn’t something we’ve ever attended as its popularity makes the piazza a quite stifling environment during it. Besides, it’s balloons dropping and we’re not children.

It wasn’t particularly busy on the lowest level of the piazza. The shops were trying their best to convince people that their new batches of signs with percentages off and offers would somehow reflect a different price at the till from the previous fourteen days aboard ship and the other signs and offers that had been displayed; a constant trickle of people were snacking at the wonderful International Café; the art gallery was devoid of any art as it had all been bumped into Explorers Lounge for the final art auction of the cruise.

Up one level where, surprisingly, there were not too many people queueing at the passenger services desk. This is usually a magnetic coil on which the iron filings of gratuities-removing passengers are attached on the first and last days on a ship. We were those iron filings once, on our very first cruise, because we listened to advice from seasoned cruisers who turned out to be tightarses. We know better these days. If you can’t afford to pay the daily charges then you shouldn’t be on a cruise. If you’re the cruising equivalent of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal and assume that if you can’t see someone then they didn’t help you out then please announce your stance on as many cruise groups on Facebook as you can and become the hero you think you are.

The top of the piazza is deck seven, the promenade deck and home of most of the more interesting inside venues on a Princess ship. I didn’t venture outside because I knew just how chilly and windy it had felt on the balcony earlier in the day and instead continued taking pictures of Star Princess’s interior spaces for, ooh, I don’t know, maybe the tenth time across our two cruises aboard her. You can never have too many.

The Princess Theatre was either closed for rehearsals or there was a talk going on or I forgot it was there; whatever the reason, I didn’t take photos of it so working back from that point of the deck the first location I hit was the Crown Grill. This is where the British pub lunch is served on sea days and also where Crown Grill speciality dining takes place, the latter because to have it elsewhere would be needlessly confusing. We’d already failed to have a pub lunch due to its popularity and our unwillingness to queue despite being as British as they come and, you’d expect, experts in the art of queueing. We had, however, dined at the Crown Grill on Star Princess one evening and it had been as fabulous as it always is (except for that debacle on Royal Princess which we try not to think about too much). It was interesting, therefore, to see the location during the day, empty except for a group meeting for some sort of crafting get-together, and sporting a feature we’d not been aware of previously – as it’s considered rude to just go wandering around a restaurant when you turn up – in the form of a mock fireplace.

Passing back through the piazza got me closer to the balloons ready and waiting to begin their short descent to the popping frenzy later that day. It wasn’t possible to head into Explorers because the final art auction of the cruise was due to take place in the afternoon. On past cruises we’ve enjoyed the art auctions – on our last Star Princess cruise we bought a plethora of pieces for a really good price – but our experience in Asia aboard Diamond Princess soured what had been a regular activity for us and we have vowed never to do business again with Park West Gallery on any of the ships on which they sell their works. Probably the most disappointing aspect of that whole encounter has been the total lack of response from Princess Cruises regarding the complaints we levelled. Sometimes you just don’t matter in the big picture and all you can do is moan about it online, sigh, and press on.

I don’t want to keep comparing this Star Princess cruise with the one we’d taken three years earlier but coming next to the Wheelhouse Bar presented another example of just how the two cruises had differed. In 2016 Princess had still been running their BOGO drinks promotions (buy one, get another one for a dollar) at select times in select venues, one of those places and times being the Wheelhouse Bar for an hour in the afternoon. This bar had been packed, fun, provided loads of opportunities to mingle and talk to people, had music on that got people up and dancing; it was great. On this 2019 cruise I don’t think we ever saw more than a dozen people in it at any one time. There were often musicians playing in it in the evening who outnumbered the attendees. It was a good place to come for a quiet read if noise from the piazza was making sitting in Crooners annoying but a complete waste of usefulness in my opinion. And it’s such a lovely-looking lounge, too.

A quick poke of the head into Sabatinis (a place we’d dined at twice here and here) and a stroll through the photo gallery without taking any photos (because you’re not allowed to and because I have no desire for any snaps of that annoying redneck couple with whom we shared a table one evening posing next to crew members dressed as conquistadors or penguins or whatever other stereotypical and only occasionally culturally-insensitive costume they’ve been forced to wear at the end of the gangway during port stops). This brought me to the Vista Lounge where the first of two last day bingo sessions was taking place. Bingo is always well-attended throughout a cruise even though I’ve never heard of anyone winning the jackpot until the very last session of the very last day. Some people believe that this is a fix because gambling on ships is not governed by any laws of the land that might demand some element of fairness and random chance but I couldn’t possibly comment on the veracity of that belief as it’s not something I really care about. I also don’t really care for photos of people marking off cards or touching their tablets (not a euphemism; I’m pretty sure I saw electronic devices being used during my split second glance into the lounge) so I simply walked in one door and out the other with barely a moment’s stop for a snapshot or two of the interior space.

Outside the Vista Lounge I took the elevator up to Skywalkers. If you’re not a fan of muttering “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” and traipsing up a few flights of stairs then it’s worth checking the elevator buttons at this point because only two of the elevators here go all the way to deck seventeen and the location of Skywalker’s eponymous Skywalker travelator. We do like the travelator. It’s a crying shame that it’s only present on Star, Golden, and Caribbean Princess, and when the first two are transferred to P&O Australia in the next few years it will only be the latter ship that has this feature remaining in the fleet. We’ve not cruised on Golden or Caribbean and have no plans in place (or time available) to do so prior to Golden’s departure but as we’ve never cruised in Australia we haven’t ruled out maybe seeking out Golden Princess under her new guise and in her new livery when that time comes.

Skywalkers is another place that can be a good spot for a quiet read on a sea day and one that affords the best views. Of course, it was only quieter in terms of volume from its use as a nightclub in the evening. In terms of people there it was almost as busy; another victim of the BOGO eradication price squeeze.

This only really left the swimming pools on the top deck and I decided to keep exposure to the blustery wind as short as possible so made my way as quickly as I could forward, starting with the wake view pool, passing through the covered pool area (Calypso), completing a circuit of the exterior pool (Neptune) beside the Movies Under The Stars screen, and ending at the adults only pool (Lotus) beside the Sanctuary and spa. One foolhardy person was using the exterior swimming pool while the pool we favoured, the adults only one, was netted off on account of its shallowness in choppy sea conditions being something considered dangerous. I imagine the stewards come in and net off the baths in mini-suites and suites during these times too.

That concluded my action-packed solo activity schedule for the last sea day on Star Princess so I rejoined my wife and we commenced with the usual things we do together at this somewhat downbeat time: more reading, more quizzing, a little drinking, and a little eating; and all the while trying to put off packing the cases and clearing the room out ahead of departure.

Another excellent meal in the main dining room came with the customary Baked Alaska parade and almost obligatory dessert option.

The evening concluded with one last stop at Skywalkers and a chance to say goodbye to some of the staff we’d got to know there.

And that’s almost the end of the 2019 South and Central American cruise aboard Star Princess. The morning would see us arrive at Los Angeles where we had a short debark tour arranged of some highlights of the city ahead of a drive to the airport and that will be covered in the final cruise diary post in this travel portfolio.

The morning delivered to us clear blue skies, piercing blue sea, and just a hint of early sea mist dissipating on the land we could see from our balcony. This was the Mexican state of Baja California Sur, the lower part of the peninsula on Mexico’s Pacific coastline.

Dragging ourselves away from the balcony we had a quick peruse of the Princess Patter, as you do.

They’ve got a Traditional Chinese Medicine lecture called Herbs That Heal!

No.

And it’s in the Hearts and Minds Chapel. We’ve never been there.

No.

It could be interesting.

I didn’t come on this cruise to listen to you tutting loudly through a sales pitch to the gullible.

I suppose you just want to read and swim and quiz and eat like usual. No, you’re right, that does sound more appealing.

And so this sea day shaped up to be like most of the others and that’s not a bad thing at all. There’s something to be said for trying something new but there’s an argument for a relaxing routine too. We like to mix it up a bit when we take cruises but, to be fair, I’d already annoyed some passengers earlier in this cruise so there wasn’t a pressing need to leave my mark again on this trip. We had breakfast, we did atrociously in the morning trivia, then we hung around in the piazza for a while to watch the Egg Drop Challenge Finale. Enjoyable, but it lacked the engineering efforts and artistic expressions in the egg drop challenge on our Diamond Princess cruise prior to this one.

Cabo San Lucas

Something not listed in the Princess Patter but announced by the captain over the ship’s speakers then sent me scurrying back to the room for my camera before heading out to the promenade deck: we would be cruising past Cabo San Lucas close enough to see its famous arch formation. Famous is a relative term here because while the name Cabo San Lucas triggered a vague sense of having heard it before deep in the recesses of my brain I had nothing more than that to draw on and its arch, whatever that was, meant nothing to me. Almost nothing. It was a thing to see and I like seeing things. We didn’t know on which side of the ship the thing we’d be seeing would be hence us hitting the promenade deck to keep options open.

There were plenty of other people doing the same thing and the gentle breeze and shade cast from the promenade deck (the reason we’d decided not to head up top) made for a very pleasant time slowly slicing through the water and past the landscape off our starboard side.

We weren’t entirely sure what we were looking out for but assumed we’d know it when we saw it. Meanwhile, it wasn’t just the landmass that had our attention. The water was still filled with turtles which we were almost becoming blasé about by this time (almost; maybe a little less than almost; okay, they were still fricking amazing) but we also watched a hummingbird flitting about the ship for a while. That generated gasps and oohs from everyone around and generated an “I’m not even going to try to take a photo of that fast-moving bastard” from me much to my wife’s disappointment; there’s nothing she likes more than seeing me fail to get nature to sit still for a shot. We also heard people mentioning seeing rays in the water but didn’t spot any until one leapt out and splashed back. He or she – I’m not a ray-sexer – got a very deserved round of applause but the surprise action wasn’t repeated. Always leave them wanting more. What a professional!

And it wasn’t just nature drawing the eye. Naturally, as most cruisers do, we love spotting other cruise ships when we’re cruising the world so it was nice to see one anchored at Cabo San Lucas as we passed. We could tell it was an NCL ship because of the hull decoration visible from the distance but it took zooming in on the high-res photo and confirming with ship timetables after the event for it to become clear this was the Norwegian Star. We’ve not cruised with this line and I can’t honestly say they’ve ever figured in the running for selecting trips but we’ve heard good things about them and I wouldn’t be averse to giving them a go in the future.

Cabo San Lucas is Baja California Sur’s third largest city and a popular holiday resort, particularly with Americans. The Baja California Sur peninsula fractured away from mainland Mexico around two million years ago and archaeological digs at the tip where Cabo San Lucas sits have shown humans have lived there in some form or another for around the last ten thousand of those. Cabo San Lucas itself was founded in the late eighteenth century but remained very lightly inhabited until Mexico’s government decided to put in place the infrastructure to promote the area for tourism. This led to an explosion of hotels and timeshare apartments from the 1970s onwards, a lot of which could be seen on the cliff faces and beach fronts we passed.

It took for me to decide to get a photo with some of the other passengers in the shot before I suddenly realised that the thing we’d come to see, the Arch of Cabo San Lucas, was already behind us. In my defence it probably wasn’t easily visible until this point as it’s difficult to spot an arch from a side-on angle.

So, we can now say that we’ve seen what the locals refer to as El Arco and it’s always nice to see natural formations like this. It’s not quite as impressive as Durdle Door in my opinion but a good thing to experience nonetheless, and it’s apparently a popular spot with sea lions who have reputedly good taste where these things are concerned.

We stayed out a while longer until we’d passed the headland and most of the developments along it in search of that oh-so-desirable tourist dollar.

Afternoon Activities

We had a swim, grabbed something to eat from the pool grill, listened to a bit of music from the band for a while while we did so, then went for a read in the company of some drinks. My wife stuck to her cider and I continued with Operation Try All The Beers to see if there were any stars amongst them. Answer: not really. Princess are no P&O where beers are concerned.

We have a theory that we need just a little amount of alcohol to get our brains working. This is why we’re hopeless in morning trivia competitions usually. This is why we do considerably better in the afternoon trivia competitions. For the second time on this cruise we won the trivia and managed to bag a reusable bottle as one of the prizes and a pointless wine stopper as the other. Seriously, who leaves a bottle open with wine in it? Wine heathens, that’s who! The Elite Lounge opened just as the trivia concluded so we took our prizes up with us and celebrated with a couple of drinks.

We dropped our bottle and stopper back off in our room (and grabbed a few more shots of the ocean view from our balcony because my name is Mark and I have a problem and just can’t help myself) then decided to eat up a little more time before the evening with something we’d tried to do a few days earlier.

That thing we’d tried to do was try the wine flight. We’d seen the group of gay guys with whom we’d had an aborted stargazing but boozy and fun evening previously try these flights one day while we’d been in Vines so we’d asked Zander if we could do the same. The wine flight includes three wines and three chocolates for pairing but at the time we’d asked we’d been told that they had none of the white chocolates in although they hoped to restock in Puerto Vallarta. Well… that didn’t happen so we accepted an improvised offer when we asked again on this day and that’s why you can see two chunks of white Toblerone.

And how was the Princess wine flight? Okay. The chocolates were a nice touch and two thirds of them were great quality and very tasty although it’s arguable that they really made a difference to the experience. The problem was that the flight included a rosé wine. Our wine-drinking preference is for red wine and the more full-bodied the better. After that, our preference is for something that’s not wine because white wine is like drinking watery piss and rosé wine feels like an evil scientific experiment in the mouth.

I have taken the flavours, the aromas, the blitz on the sensations of a red wine…

Oh, I like that master!

…and I have taken the insipid, pale, almost offensively pointless presence of a white wine…

Master! You’re scaring me!

…and behold my creation! It lives!

Master! What is it!?

I shall call it rosé. People will think it is a bridge to better drinking experiences for white wine drinkers! People will be so wrong! It is worse! Far, far worse!

Sabatini’s Speciality Dining

This penultimate sea day was a formal night. We don’t object to formal nights but I don’t find wearing a suit of any kind terribly comfortable. I take a tuxedo and I do wear it at least once on a cruise but we’ve found ways to not have to dress up too much and not worry about feeling out of place as we’ve become more experienced cruisers. One of those ways is to book speciality dining for the formal night. Speciality dining venues tend to be a little more relaxed about what you’re wearing on formal nights because you’re paying a little extra for the privilege. We’d had an absolutely stunning meal already in Sabatini’s thanks to a free offer when we’d booked the cruise; stunning enough, in fact, that we’d booked another sitting which we worked out should be on this final formal evening.

But first, a formal night tradition needed to be followed. A Vodka Martini with three olives for me, something fancy for the lady. I never used to like Vodka Martinis. I didn’t like the taste of them. I really didn’t like the olives. I still don’t like the olives. I have, however, acquired a taste for a Vodka Martini and worked out the purpose of the olives: firstly, they’re to look sophisticated to people impressed by revolting fruit; secondly, they’re to impart a little saltiness into the drink and tweak its flavour as you sip further down the glass; thirdly, they’re to be thrown at people irritating you once you’ve consumed about half the drink and don’t fancy the idea of finishing off with brine.

To Sabatini’s. We made a few changes from the first meal we’d had here so that we could try a few new things but there were some courses that were simply too good to not have again. The wine, as well, was one we had for the third time, having had it recommended on our first visit then selecting it when we’d dined at the Crown Grill just ahead of crossing the equator too.

Our pinot noir was delivered to the table along with another incredible basket of bread and the Stuzzichino Della Casa: “warm rustic whole-wheat loaf, tuscan zonzelle with roasted tomato & bell pepper passata, prosciutto crudo, extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar.”

For my wife, the first course was Arrosticini di Agnello: “grilled lamb skewers marinated with oregano and extra virgin olive oil, arugula salad.” I went for Alici: “fried zucchini & yellow squash, smoked scamorza, toasted house made crostini.”

In the eternal battle between soup and salad we side with the forces of soup. Grana Padano Fondue: “celery, foraged mushrooms, toasted hazelnuts.”

The pasta course for my wife was Buckwheat Pappardelle: “wide ribbon pasta, celeriac, nebbiolo-braised beef cheek.” I repeated my previous choice of Tortelloni: “mint-speckled pasta, roasted lamb, pecorino crosta nera, cacio e pepe sauce, broccoli rabe.”

My wife’s seafood course was Roman Seafood al Cartoccio: “grouper, shrimp, black mussels, scallops, potato, artichoke.” I went for the Iseo-Style Lake Trout Rolls: “lemon, capers, extra virgin olive oil, rosemary polenta.”

We’d been disappointed by the deconstructed tiramisu for dessert on our first meal at Sabatini’s so chose differently this time around with my wife picking the dessert samples and me picking just one huge, chocolatey one.

Finally, the only problem with a meal as large as this is that the wine doesn’t last long enough so you’re compelled to dip into the exclusive cocktails list for the dining venue. Compelled.

So full were we from another stunningly good meal from the new Sabatini’s menu that we forewent our traditional evening end in Skywalkers and opted to slip into food comas in our room instead.

Tomorrow would be the last day aboard Star Princess.

Freshening up for us involves hitting a bar nine times out of ten and this wasn’t one of those one-in-ten outliers so it felt the right time of day for a glass of wine in Vines. Zander was there as usual to tempt us with some tapas and, because we’d not had anything to eat ashore, we gave in.

Back in our room and what other people might refer to as freshening up – showering and changing clothes – then occurred with us taking turns to gaze out at Puerto Vallarta during sunset from our balcony. Royal Princess, which had been there during our cruise into Puerto Vallarta in the morning, had obviously left at some point during our city tour but Carnival Splendor was still docked and we noticed a pirate ship across from us too.

I recall that there had been a tour offered by Princess that included time aboard a pirate ship and I can only assume it was this very same one; as much as I like pirates – my niece thinks I am one (I might have had something to do with that perception) – we hadn’t been interested in this trip because the pirate ship visit had also included words such as “party” and “music” which typically trigger a reflexive action in us akin to Dracula spotting a crucifix. It was a pretty still evening with the heat of the day becoming that warmth of the evening that’s such a wonderful thing to experience on cruises nearer the equator, and the views of the port area as the sun’s setting lit the horizon on fire was the perfect counterpoint to the thump-thump-badump-thump of bass notes travelling across the water accompanied by peals of laughter and shrieking.

“Fuck me, they’re annoying!” announced my wife, emerging onto the balcony, clean and ready for the evening.

“Indeed they are,” I agreed, as I stepped back into the room for my turn to wash and change.

By the time I was ready there was barely a hint of sunlight in the western sky – it takes a while to get me looking this average – and the pirate ship had vanished. Sailed away to party where it could only irritate whales or deservedly sunk by a broadside from the cruise ship’s cannons while I’d been scrubbing my nethers? Who can say? The darkness in the sky not only brought some tranquility to Puerto Vallarta but also served to hide that funnel on the Carnival Splendor, making it very nearly almost look appealing all lit up at dockside.

Star Princess had started to move as I’d made my way onto the balcony so we stayed long enough to clear the port entrance before commencing with the evening’s activities.

The evening’s activities started with dinner which included one of those sorbet refreshers between the appetiser and main course and a Chocolate Journey for dessert. It’s almost a nautical law on Princess ships that we take both of them.

Now, you’ll quite likely have picked up on the fact that we’re not what you might call party people already unless you’ve scrolled down the page without reading until the food stopped you dead or your comprehension skills are about on a par with a Brexit supporter’s. Just to reiterate: we’re not party people. But we still headed up to the top deck for a while even though there was a party taking place under the Movies Under The Stars screen because:

• unlike the pirate ship party, this one was free to attend
• unlike the pirate ship party, this one was safe from cruise ship cannon attacks
• the odds of catching an old couple dance headfirst into the pool were reasonable

Sadly, nobody fell into the pool while we were there but it still seemed like everyone had a reasonably enjoyable time regardless. Like the previous time we’d been at a deck party on Star Princess there did seem to be far too much organised dancing straying into zumba-exercising territory taking place so we eventually headed off to grab some drinks in some inner venues on the ship before calling it a night.

Still to come in this cruise diary travel portfolio of our South and Central American cruise aboard Star Princess are two final sea days which include cruising past Cabo San Lucas and a second meal at Sabatini’s because the first one was just so good, before disembarkation at Los Angeles and a tour of Santa Monica and Venice Canals prior to catching our flight home.

The First Sea Day

You can’t do as little as humanly possible without a firm plan of action so every day begins the night before with a peruse of the ship’s daily programme of events, the Princess Patter.

Every morning also sees us perusing the Princess Patter because we’ve forgotten what was in it by the time we’re awake. We then promptly forget it again as we get distracted by the view from the balcony. On this first sea day we could see that we were tracking along the coast of Central America as we cruised northish and with this being not too far from land we had sea birds flying alongside Star Princess doubtlessly looking to snatch up anything disturbed by the ship’s passage through the water.

Breakfast was followed by a wander along to the Vista Lounge for some early morning trivia. For some reason we never do well in the trivia when it takes place in the largest of the lounges on ships. We’ve won on numerous occasions when Explorers is used but as soon as trivia is moved to Vista or Club Fusion, as it typically is on sea day mornings, we fail abysmally. This was no different. The most entertaining aspect of the trivia in this venue came at its conclusion with the melee to stake out prime spots for the Zumba class which followed on from the quizzing. Women of all ages suddenly transformed into shuffling, barging, snarling machines rushing to the stage with bags to reserve their spots.

I suggested it might be a nice idea to head onto the top deck where one of our favourite films, Galaxy Quest, was showing on the Movies Under The Stars screen. All of the shaded loungers were taken so we managed, ooh, about ten minutes before the only visible star in the sky had boiled our brains enough to send us scurrying inside the ship.

We’d seen a few of the ship’s enrichment presenter’s talks but the one he was giving on this day in the theatre didn’t interest us so we made do with some quiet reading with the thought in mind that we might try the British-style pub lunch. That plan was ditched as we strolled up to the Crown Grill fifteen minutes before it was due to start and caught a glimpse of the queue. It’s a very popular thing on Princess ships.

We went for a swim instead then rewarded ourselves with a small bite from the grill by the pool followed by a drink in Crooners while we read.

Sitting in the bar we could see people completing laps of the Promenade Deck through the windows so I suggested that perhaps we should do the same once we’d finished our drinks. This was not a well-received suggestion until some activity taking place in the Piazza made too much noise and my wife harrumphed and said “Okay, let’s head outside.”

We did not complete a single lap but we spent the best part of an hour outside. The Pacific Ocean was living up to its name; very flat, very calm, very tranquil, very wet. The sea conditions meant that spotting sealife was ridiculously easy. Pods of dolphins could be seen, most often in the distance but every now and then coming along very close to the ship’s hull. Turtles, though, were there in their tens of dozens. We lost count of how many we saw. We would no sooner watch one float past or dive down as the ship approached than we’d look ahead and spot another one or two. I didn’t have my main camera on me or I’d have tried to snap away but it was more than enough to just gaze out at the sea and enjoy the spectacle with the warm breeze on our faces and the thud-thud-thud of walkers completing crap knows how many miles of laps behind our backs.

All that sea air must have made us a little hungrier than normal as we then decided to get some Afternoon Tea. This took place in the Portofino restaurant and we shared a table with another two couples although the sort of small talk you tend to engage in at dinner never really took place. That suited us fine. We took some of the offered light bites and had a couple of cups of tea to keep our fluid levels up. As you can tell from the photo of the scones we are cream then jam people. The correct way. Don’t even think about arguing the matter.

We did have some actual plans for the evening by this point but the rest of the afternoon was spent mostly quietly reading and sipping drinks. Popping into Vines for a glass of wine we were persuaded by Zander to once again try the tapas following a sad story about how his chef would be crestfallen if he thought nobody liked the food. This was turning into a very grazey kind of day for us.

After showering and changing for the evening we spent a little more time admiring the sea and the sunset from our balcony and the Promenade Deck. This cruise probably saw us spend more time looking out to sea than any other thanks to the abundance of wildlife we kept spotting and while we didn’t see anything as dusk approached it was still such a pleasant experience to gaze into the distance and just simply enjoy the moment.

Our early evening plan involved attending the Captain’s Circle speech. This is an event that takes place once per cruise where senior members of staff – the loyalty manager, the entertainments director, and the captain most prominently – will give a speech to people who’ve demonstrated a certain level of loyalty to Princess Cruises. Attendees have the opportunity to win a bottle of champagne and there are free nibbles and drinks handed out too. The speeches usually cover news about the fleet, information about new destinations, some statistics about what nationalities are on the ship, and which passengers have cruised the longest. On this cruise were a couple of Americans who had sailed 1,583 days on Princess ships. That’s almost four and a half years cruising. That’s the sort of announcement that gets a round of applause and lots of heads turning to one another and muttering “Utter bastards!” to one another.

We’ve been to a lot of these Captain’s Circle talks. They’re usually okay, nothing too memorable. This one was different. Firstly, there were the drinks. You can count on getting one. You might get two. We did significantly better. The reason for this was because several of the bar staff who normally waited in Skywalkers were brought down to help hand out food and drinks and we’d gotten to know them pretty well by this point as we were regulars there. As we stepped into the Vista Lounge we got a “I’ll come find you and bring you drinks” from Hyacinth – and she did – plus a wave from Lester as he spotted us from across the room who then made sure to bring us over some drinks as well. Twice. At one point I had two drinks and my wife had four drinks sat in front of her as Hyacinth had another wine spare and left it with us. We got some looks from other people nearby. It pays to be friendly to the staff.

The second reason this speech was so memorable was because of the captain. Captain Tuvo is a bit of a character. You can read more about some of his antics during our Crossing The Line Ceremony experience. His speech pretty much started:

Welcome back everybody. This is the part where Princess want me to tell you about the ship and about the company and the destinations and blah, blah, blah. Boring. You know that speech already. I don’t want to do that speech and I’m the captain so I’m going to do magic instead. I need a volunteer from the audience…

He then proceeded to entertain us with magic and humour for the next half hour. It was unexpected and incredibly good fun. Easily the best of these speeches we’ve attended. I did record a whole chunk of this magic but, as with almost all the videos on this cruise, it was lost in the Great Backup Sync Balls-Up that I still sometimes sob about when nobody is looking.

We also had some late evening plans. After dinner we grabbed a drink from Crooners to eat up a little time until just after ten when we headed up to the aft terrace adjacent to the Horizon Court buffet. This was the meeting place for the Stargazing Get-Together. We’ve been to several of these stargazing at sea events on Princess ships and until this point had been unsuccessful in ever seeing anything; either the sky had been cloudy or the ship had not been able to switch its lights off in order to help us see anything. We had high hopes this time as there were a few stars visible despite the glare from the ship’s lights.

We stepped out onto the terrace and saw that there were around twenty other people standing around and waiting. We stood around and waited too. And waited. And waited. And… waited. And… eventually came to the conclusion that whichever member of staff was supposed to be running the event wasn’t going to turn up after all. Another failed stargazing event with Princess Cruises. One day.

The evening wasn’t a complete failure, though. One group of people waiting for the stargazing event were people we’d seen around the ship on a few occasions; four pairs of gay guys who’d met onboard at one of the first LGBT meet-ups and started doing activities together. We got talking, we got laughing, we persuaded everyone to hit Skywalkers with us. It was great to see the looks on the faces of Hyacinth and Lester again as we turned up not alone for once but in a posse of ten. There was a lot of noisy laughter. There was a lot of poor dancing. There were many drinks ordered and consumed. There was a great exchange between one of the Australian guys and my wife.

Wife: How long have you two been together?

Guy: Years. Although he wouldn’t introduce me to his parents for ages. He was worried how they’d react.

Wife: Were they fine, though?

Guy: No. I don’t get on with them. They don’t approve of me.

Wife: Perhaps they just thought he could do better.

Guy: [screaming laughter] Agh! Ya fuckin’ bitch!

We outlasted everyone and only left Skywalkers when they turned the music off and the lights on.

The Second Sea Day

Another day, another Princess Patter.

The second sea day’s general activities followed a very similar pattern to those of the one preceding it. There was trivia which was lost, there was swimming, there was lots of time for reading. We spent a long time gazing out to sea from either our balcony or the Promenade Deck again. More dolphins, more turtles, and we saw two sea snakes at one point too which was quite a shock, albeit a pleasant one. We’re all about the experiences.

We had a far more normal day food-wise with our lunch consisting of a panini with cake for me and a panini with cookies for my wife, all complimentary at the International Café. And a glass of wine from the adjacent Vines, of course. Very civilised.

There was time to enjoy the stillness of the ocean and the pastel colours of the sky in the company of a few cocktails as the afternoon turned into evening.

We didn’t any have big plans for the evening but dinner proved to be interesting. We never mind sharing with other people and this night was no exception. Our waiter led us to a table for four where an older couple were already seated. We recognised them from a previous night’s dinner when they’d been opposite us on a table for eight and so hadn’t really had a chance to speak properly. They recognised us too.

You again! You’re the English couple, right? Do you remember us?

That’s us. And yes.

Excellent. You drink champagne, right?

We’ve been known to.

Great! We won a bottle of champagne at the Captain’s Circle speech and we can’t drink a whole bottle ourselves so we asked to have it chilled so we could share it with whoever sat with us tonight. You’ll join us, I hope?

It would be rude not to.

Free champagne! That’s the best kind there is! Even better, when we started talking to the couple – they were from Oregon – we found to our joy that they were left-wing politically. Right-wingers are so much more common among Americans on cruise ships so it was great to be able to eat, drink champagne, and bemoan the idiots who voted for Trump and the idiots who voted for Brexit in full agreement with our international table partners for a change. A very enjoyable meal indeed.

That brings two relaxing sea days to a close. In the next posts in this cruise portfolio I’ll cover our day in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, the last port of call before disembarkation in Los Angeles.

Sea Day Morning

The morning was spent doing typical sea day morning stuff – breakfast, trivia, sudoku, crossword, a bit of reading – but it started with a sea bird cruising on the air currents alongside the ship as we opened up our balcony door first thing to take our first look out to the Pacific Ocean of the day. As I’ve said on numerous occasions, I’m not a birder but I do like to see what evolution has produced around the world and this was unusual-looking enough for me to snap a few shots. Determining just what sort of bird it was has proven to be difficult because searches for “white and black sea bird” or “white sea bird, black wings, black head” or variations on that theme produce ridiculous numbers of results. I welcome any suggestions from readers of this page should they ever be forthcoming.

Crossing The Line Ceremony

As our Princess Patter proudly announced:

Be it now proclaimed by the Call of Conch and Nautilus throughout the latitudes and longitudes of our Oceanis Domain that we, Neptune, Ruler of the Seven Seas, King of the Secret Currents, Lord of the Boundless Waves, Master of the Tides, High Constable of the Coral Caverns and Outermost Reaches of the Deep, do hereby sanction and affirm that our most noble Crossing of the Equator has fallen upon us. Come watch the action on the Lido Deck as the pollywogs who have never crossed the Equator become the “Shellbacks” with King Neptune and his Royal Court.

The early morning cloud had mostly burned off as the afternoon approached so we made sure to cover ourselves in Factor 30 before heading up to the main pool. Arriving about half an hour before the equator-crossing ceremony was scheduled to start we discovered that the event was a popular one and finding a decent viewing spot was already a tough task. However, I knew where I wanted to be and that still had some space; right beside the main camera filming the ceremony for the ship’s DVD of the cruise. I wanted this spot for two reasons: firstly, I knew it would have a decent angle of the goings-on around the pool area because this is something the cruise line would have done on numerous occasions before; secondly, there was far less chance of us being filmed from this location. In case you’ve never noticed, you shouldn’t ever see any photos of the pair of us on this site or online. It’s best for everyone.

While it was extremely warm out on the deck and with the sun almost directly overhead there was also a welcome breeze that made it slightly more tolerable. This, though, did make setting up the court area for the ceremony a little tricky as the various sheets that were covering some of the carts and tables needed to be taped down to stop them flying off. The band kept the crowd entertained with some music during this process and we even had Captain Tuvo out and performing Y.M.C.A. along with most of the passengers. Interestingly, it looked like the captain was the only person in the world who’d not heard the song or performed the dance before, or the skills he had developed commanding ships had been offset by a complete inability to hold a rhythm in his head. Regardless, it did make the wait before the ceremony a very entertaining one.

And so the ceremony began, hosted by cruise director Fernando Cunha dressed as a pirate. No, I don’t know why.

The Crossing The Line ceremony has existed in some form or another with many of the world’s navies for centuries. Each country has its own take on the ritual but with Star Princess being operated by Princess Cruises, an American company, the line-crossing we experienced featured a lot of references from American traditions. Those who have not crossed the equator are referred to as Pollywogs while those who have are Shellbacks and it is the former group who need to undergo the initiation at the hands of the latter in the Court Of King Neptune.

Various groups of people were introduced to the waiting crowd. King Neptune himself, of course, along with his, er, beautiful wife, plus Captain Tuvo would be the judges and jury; cutlass-wielding pirate-barbers, a crazed surgeon, and assistants were there to carry out the judgements of the court.

A number of pollywogs from the passengers were then brought before the court one at a time to hear accounts of the crimes for which they’d been accused. With this being a cruise ship the charges were often cruise-related, such as heinously not washing hands before entering the buffet, crimes which received boos from the gathered crowd. No defence was asked for or mounted by each of the accused but you have to remember that we were in international waters and the laws of the land did not apply, so King Neptune found each passenger guilty – and rightly so – and justice was summarily dispensed. This mostly involved getting covered in coloured goo and having it shaved off with a cutlass but there were some different punishments too, including kissing another passenger’s stomach while blindfolded and an enjoyably grisly ritual disembowelling by the surgeon with entrails and other body parts tossed out from behind the protective sheets towards the crowd.

It wasn’t just passenger pollywogs who were processed in King Neptune’s court. Crew members yet to become shellbacks were also brought before the judges and subjected to the same messy treatment.

At the end of the crossing the line ceremony officers who were crossing the equator for the first time were ducked in the sea. As you’re not allowed to throw anything overboard on a cruise ship this activity took place in the next best thing, the swimming pool. Captain Tuvo joined his officers for reasons only he knows. Perhaps he was hot. Perhaps he just liked getting wet. Perhaps he wanted to give everyone some idea what colour his underwear was when his uniform got soaked through. He’s Italian and nothing would surprise me.

The ceremony concluded with us all being declared Honourable Shellbacks while the victims of the trials cleaned themselves up as best they could. We were then invited to head down to the deck where those of us who wished to do so could kiss the fish that had been left out under the sun throughout the ceremony. We decided to give that a miss.

In the evening we received certificates to mark that we’d crossed the equator. We’ll try not to grimace too much at the date format and pretend that it’s some Court of King Neptune tradition too.

The Crossing The Line ceremony was immense fun and lasted about half an hour. Because it was popular, though, a lot of people – ourselves included – were out a lot longer than that and standing throughout, and because of the intense sunshine at that latitude it’s something you need to be prepared to be a little bit uncomfortable during. Indeed, at one point during the ceremony we heard a loud thump from behind us as a fellow passenger passed out and hit the deck. He was treated very quickly. If you get a chance to watch or partake in the fun of crossing the equator on a cruise ship then definitely do so but be prepared to get there early if you want a seat and make sure you’re protected from the sun.

Afternoon Activities On Star Princess

As the ceremony came to an end we decided to get some lunch in the International Café at the bottom of the piazza. Although we hadn’t been that far from the Horizon Court buffet or the Trident Grill this felt like a better option as we wouldn’t have to compete with half the ship dispersing from the top deck to get something to eat too. Pie and cookies for the lady; toasted panini and cake for the gentleman.

Allowing some time for food to go down we then took a swim because that’s what we do on cruise ships in the afternoon. Our second attempt at trivia that day was a success with victory leading to winning Princess-branded magnetic clips. In case you’re not aware, cruise ship cabin walls are magnetic so you can simply place the clip on them and use it to hold information such as the Princess Patter or port information for the day ahead.

We celebrated continuing our streak of at least one trivia win on every Princess cruise we’ve been on by grabbing a glass of wine in Vines where Zander persuaded us to make his chef happy by accepting a complimentary plate of sushi. If you’re drinking wine in Vines then sushi or tapas is free in the late afternoon. We’re still not sold on sushi, despite trying it now on the last two cruises with Princess, but you can’t fault the quality of the preparation.

The final event of note in the afternoon occurred when we popped into the Effy store off the piazza; they were having another one of their regular raffles and we hadn’t really taken a good look at what was on offer by this point in the cruise so figured it couldn’t hurt to have a nose around. I know the sort of thing my wife likes and I spotted a black and white diamond ring that we asked the sales assistant to take a closer look at; this was mostly because I couldn’t see the price but didn’t want to ask as my expected high-pitched shriek of a response of “How much!?” would be the sort of thing that would see me receiving a stern lecture back in the privacy of our cabin afterwards.

Two things then happened while the assistant was explaining that this was a 14-karat white gold ring with just under 2.5 carats of black and white diamonds: firstly, the ring fit my wife perfectly which triggered deep in me an “Uh oh!” that only passing whales could detect and sympathise with; secondly, my barely-concealed look of terror at glancing at the price must have been picked up by the assistant who quickly applied several sudden discounts because we were in the northern hemisphere now and we were English and the manager was feeling generous and sales had been good that month and the moon was in the right position for diamond price reductions and so on. Anyway, my wife got a new ring out of it is what I’m leading towards here.

Evening Activities On Star Princess

The evening was accompanied by more drinking, but you’d already guessed that.

Another excellent dinner was taken in the main dining room. We have found on previous cruises that while Princess food is very good quality, generally-speaking, there are some meals or elements of meals that you see repeated a lot, especially if you cruise often. That’s understandable to a large extent and it’s never been a problem for us but we were pleased to see far more variety in what was offered on this Star Princess cruise. In fact, as I’ve previously mentioned during the travel diary entries for this trip, this particular cruise had overall the best food we’ve had during any of our cruises.

To conclude the evening, for the first time on a Princess cruise we were able to enjoy a Movies Under The Stars experience without several layers of clothing and blankets. We’d been unlucky up until this point on previous trips in that when the weather was nice the movies didn’t appeal and when the movies were good the weather wanted us to suffer for it. A balmy night beside the pool, water gently lapping at the edges because of the slightest of rolls and pitches of the ship; a full moon above; cocktails in easy reach; the odd but oddly-enjoyable Robin Hood movie starring Jamie Foxx and Taron Egerton. It was a lovely end to a fabulously enjoyable sea day.

The next day would see us arrive in Costa Rica and cruise diary coverage from there will start in the next post in this travel portfolio series.

Sea Day Princess Patter

Planning for a sea day aboard a Princess ship begins the night before when the Princess Patter is delivered to your stateroom. Our conversation when browsing the programme of events for the day to come went something like:

Free mimosas in Effy at ten.
In the morning?
In the morning.
Too dangerous.
There’s Zumba at ten-fifteen in Vista.
Get lost.
More cowboy poetry at eleven-fifteen.
It’s a possible.
Rum tasting in Vines at twelve-thirty.
I don’t want to be on the rum that early, either.
Shackleton lecture at one.
That could be good.
Ladies pamper party at half three.
Like nappies?
Not Pampers. Pamper.
Pass. What’s the music theme in Skywalkers this evening?
Our favourite.
Please don’t say it’s latin fiesta.
It’s latin fiesta.
Guess we know where we’re not going tonight.

We ended up doing pretty much nothing from the arranged events aboard Star Princess. After a late start with subsequent late breakfast we picked up the daily sudoku and crossword puzzles from outside the internet café at the bottom of the piazza and, with breaks for trivia when we were around for them, our day fell into the fairly regular pattern of reading in the morning and afternoon with a swim around lunchtime followed by either a pizza slice from Prego Pizzeria or a burger or hot dog from the Trident Grill after that.

Most of our reading time was spent either in Crooners to soak up the atmosphere of people buzzing around the heart of the ship or, when that got too noisy, in Explorers.

Later in the afternoon we hit the International Café for a bite to eat (toasted paninis and a pistachio cake), then took our food across the floor of the piazza to Vines to wash that down with a glass of wine.

Star Princess Promenade Deck

Another conversation.

I think I might take the camera and head off for a circuit of the promenade deck.
Okay.
Do you want a break from reading?
Nope.
So you just want to stay here?
Yep.
I’ll head off on my own then.
Do you want me to come? Is that what you’re saying? Do you want me to put down my Kindle and walk around with you while you take pictures?
No, it’s fine, I’m sure I’ll be fine, I’m sure nothing will happen to me alone on this ship filled with strangers in the middle of the ocean on the other side of the world.
Good. Don’t forget your cruise card.

And so I went for a lap around the promenade deck with just my camera for company. Although I was on my own this time, this was the cruise we probably spent more of our time on the promenade deck than any other except possibly our first cruise aboard Diamond Princess when we had an inside cabin. The reason for that was the sheer amount of wildlife visible in the water. During this cruise we managed to see flying fish, dolphins, turtles, jellyfish, seals, rays, and sea snakes alongside the ship at some point. While we had a balcony cabin, that limited our view to just one side of the ship so we found ourselves frequently popping out onto the promenade if we were on deck seven just to chance a look or whenever there would be an announcement over the ship’s speakers that dolphins had been spotted.

Star Princess is a Grand-class ship and this design features a complete wraparound promenade deck of approximately a third of a mile in length. A lot of the newer ships only feature partial promenade decks, encouraging walkers to head up to the top decks instead, but on this class of vessel you can often find people completing circuits of the promenade to hit a target offset of food overindulgence of some description. During my photographic bimble of a single lap I was probably passed by the same people two or three times.

If this view doesn’t make you feel instantly calm then cruising simply isn’t for you.

The promenade deck circuit isn’t all on one level. You’ll need to climb some steps to deck eight around the bow of the ship. On most ships in the fleet this is a straightforward ascension up one level but on Star Princess (as well as Grand Princess and Golden Princess) the promenade walkway then juts out slightly to accommodate four slightly longer room designs at this point of the ship on Emerald Deck. Whereas these rooms are classed as Ocean View on other ships because they have windows only, here they include balconies. As you can see from the photos, they don’t afford a huge amount of privacy, but for some extra space to sit out and enjoy the sea views with only occasional heads atop bodies stomping past to distract then they could be a good option for people who don’t like to go far from their rooms to all the bars. I can appreciate that sentiment even if I don’t subscribe to it. The one thing I really like about this extended section of the promenade deck is the pleasing photography compositions it provides for without people, chairs, or overhanging tender boats and lifeboats with which to contend.

Lido Deck

Giving my wife more time to miss me I then took advantage of the fabulous weather in this part of the Pacific and headed up to the top deck for a quick circuit with my camera there too. Did I already have photos of most of this? Yes. Was I likely to take even more photos in the future? Also yes.

Loads of people were out and about enjoying the sunshine on the sea but, as is often the case on Princess ships (at least on the cruises we tend to choose), there was plenty of room around the outside pool and nobody at all up on the sun terrace. Perhaps people don’t like bathing next to giant white orbs. Perhaps I should take advantage of my Irish heritage, bulk up on food before the next cruise, and see if I can elicit the same response from other cruisers too.

The Princess Cruises Sea Witch logo looked gorgeous against the ship’s funnel housing. Completing the walk around the aft of the ship I realised for the first time that the logo faced different directions on the port and starboard sides. I’d never noticed before but suppose I must have assumed that since it was a logo it would be the same on both sides of the ship. Obviously not the case, and clearly the same reversal of the logo takes place on the ship’s bow where the Sea Witch is also painted.

One day I shall endeavour to have a game of outdoor chess on a Princess ship. It’s taken me over ten years to persuade my wife to pick up a paddle and return a ball on a table tennis table and to take part in the shortest game of shuffleboard ever and those are activities she doesn’t care about one way or another; she claims she doesn’t like chess and has no interest in learning it so the chess match might still be a way off. However, I’m patient and persuasive. Just look at the sterling job I did in getting her to accompany me on this photo walk around Star Princess. Oh.

Even though I’d not spotted any sealife during the promenade deck portion of my time outside with the camera on this day I did manage to finally capture a frigate bird that had been circling around the top deck just as I was about to head back to the room. I’m no birder but I really enjoy seeing wildlife you don’t typically spot at home.

Crown Grill On Star Princess

The dress code for the evening on the ship was formal but we didn’t bother as we had reservations at the Crown Grill speciality dining venue. I’ve nothing against formal wear but a tuxedo does not make for the most comfortable way to eat and when it comes to Princess’s steak house you really want to feel comfortable. We were still smart, though; we’re not animals.

We always enjoy the Crown Grill (well, except for that time aboard Royal Princess) and this was another great meal with great service. The quality of the food in the speciality dining locations on Star Princess probably rates as the best aboard any ship to date.

For our appetisers I chose the Hand-cut Beef Filet Tartare (Plancha Sear, Fried Quail Egg, Smoky Dressing, Crispy Polenta Sticks) while my wife picked Black Tiger Prawn And Papaya Salpicon (Mustard Seed Aioli).

We both had the Shrimp And Pancetta Bisque (Chickpea Croutons) for our soup course.

We both also had the 8oz Filet Mignon (rare, because anything else is a crime against steak) and selected Garlic And Herb French Fries to share, with Creamed Spinach for me and Sautéed Wild Mushrooms for my wife as side dishes. We had a little of all the fabulous flavoured salts because they’re all so good.

Dessert for both of us was The Crown Dependence, the Executive Pastry Chef’s Sampling of all the featured desserts on the menu.

Crossing The Equator

We didn’t finish our wine at the table in the Crown Grill which is quite unusual for us, but this gave us the chance to take the bottle back to our room and head out onto the balcony to drink it under a bright moon at midnight. We’d talked about doing something like this anyway as it was around this time that the ship was crossing the equator. The traditional ceremony wouldn’t be until the following day (and will be covered in the next post in this cruise diary series) but this felt pretty special as a private little ceremony of our own and marked a lovely end to another relaxing day at sea aboard Star Princess.

The scale of the commercial docks of Lima was evident in the hazy morning sunshine and it was further evidence that as a cruise destination this city may not be quite ready just yet; sharing the industrial docks and battling the traffic in and out of the port area presently adds a painful overhead to any visit. However, we were told that a dedicated cruise terminal was planned or was already being constructed so we’d love to come back in a few years to see what a difference that makes as it’s a country with a lot of appeal.

Clearing the harbour entrance, we met a flotilla of fishing vessels. Living in a naval port we see a lot of naval vessels but not very many fishing boats so the behaviour of them is something that is a bit of an unknown to us. I suppose I’ve always assumed that the activities of a trawler are solitary so seeing so many vessels together in what most closely resembled some gathering as if for war came as a bit of a surprise.

Fishing business was clearly booming in the waters off Peru, and not just for the humans aboard their boats. In addition to dolphins (a little too far away to get decent photos) we found our ship accompanied for a long period by pelicans skimming over the ocean’s surface, looping around Star Princess, switching from port to starboard every few minutes. I can only guess that the ship ploughing through the water either disturbed the fish and brought them closer to the surface or it provided some form of cover for the pelicans in search of a snack or pelicans have terrible eyesight and mistook the ship for the Pelican Queen. We occasionally saw one dive out of the air and into the Pacific but whether any were successful at what we assume was fishing and not just extreme showering I can’t say, nor did I manage to have my camera on me and pointed in the right direction when it happened.

Star Princess Sea Day Events

With Peru behind us we gave some thought to some extended time aboard Star Princess. This would be the first of three sea days now with us due to cross the equator late the following day. Having spent the best part of five hours in traffic the day before it’s no exaggeration to say that three days at sea sounded like absolute heaven.

The Princess Patter didn’t give us any must attend events but that was fine with us. We know what to expect at sea these days on a Princess ship and we’re happy so long as the pool is open, we’ve got our books, and some unnatural disaster hasn’t struck the ship and turned all the bars into rubble.

Heading past the piazza early on I stopped for a while to watch the paper plane competition. Passengers taking part in this activity needed to fly their creation through a hoop and achieve the greatest distance. I didn’t stay around long enough to see what the prize was but the entrants’ crafts included the expected array of darts that dove straight into the ground and those that almost took the eyes out of people seated around the ground floor level of the area so provided for a decent amount of entertainment.

Later in the day the piazza hosted Afternoon Grooves with the band Static. Hailing from Guyana, I have to say that they are by a country mile the best band we’ve seen perform on a cruise ship. You can see their Facebook page here – Static Band – which will tell you what ships they are due to be performing on, and if you get a chance to see their great singing, excellent musical ability, and infectious (and sweaty) energy of Marlon for yourself then you won’t be disappointed.

Food And Drink

Of course we had a drink or two. Possibly even more than two. In fact, this was one of those very rare occasions where we drank more than we’d need to in order to make a drinks package worth the cost. Of course, for this to really work we’d need to drink this much every day, port or at sea, and while I’m always up for a challenge I am going to have to insist that you foot the bill for it if you want me to take part.

Early afternoon, following a swim and something to eat from the poolside grill, our first drink was taken on our balcony so that we could read to the sound of the sea rolling past and keep an eye out for more marine life. I know there are people who like inside cabins and who say they can always head to an outside deck if they want sea air but there’s nothing like having your own balcony, the shelter, the peace, the nobody stealing your chair when you stand up. A little later we hit Vines for some wine as we enjoyed the venue a lot on this cruise and Zander, who was managing it, had cemented himself as the perfect host from the very first day aboard. We’d often chat to him if it wasn’t busy in there and he constantly tried to get us to take his tapas – free if you’re drinking wine – for which we mostly made excuses to skip but on occasion, like this day, gave in to make him happy.

Early evening found us in our regular haunt, Crooners, and the Wheelhouse Bar, just for a change, for cocktails. The Wheelhouse Bar was always quiet and we remarked what a difference two cruises a few years apart had made. When we’d sailed on Star Princess for our 2016 cruise in South America the BOGO promotion had still been in place (buy one drink, get another one the same for $1 extra, for one hour only in certain venues around the ship at certain times of the day). That had been a great way to get people to move around the ship more and we’d had loads of enjoyable times meeting up with groups in the Wheelhouse or Skywalkers or Explorers. When Princess stopped that promotion they promised they would replace it with something else but they never did. I guess they looked at the bottom line and figured they didn’t need to and assumed everyone would gradually forget it had ever been a thing. The result a few years on is a club now typically devoid of any atmosphere at night and a sorely underused bar in an otherwise decent location. I’m sure the company knows what it’s doing and I refuse to comment on any sarcasm you may read into that statement.

Dinner was lovely, as usual, and made even more so by the appearance of key lime pie for dessert. That’s almost an obligatory dessert choice when we see it on the menu. After dinner we made sure we were up in Skywalkers for 22:00 when the 70s Disco Hour was due to start. Is there anything nicer than enjoying the sounds of Sylvester and Chic and KC & The Sunshine Band while slurping cocktails at sea? Maybe, but this was still a very fine end to a very relaxing day and all with the promise of another one to come.

Ordinarily, I would take a crapload of photos around the ship at this point and you might even expect more pictures than usual because I’d been rationing my photo-taking on account of not having a battery charger until the evening of the previous day. However, the weather didn’t really inspire this sort of activity for these sea days. Our trek northwards along the South American coastline was accompanied by low clouds for the most part. It was still nice and warm but the light wasn’t good enough to really show off the cruise ship in its best light. For this reason, and because I knew there would be plenty of other opportunities to take a photo tour of the ship, my camera stayed mostly in our room while we wandered around Star Princess’s venues, entertaining ourselves or finding relaxing spots to drink and read and watch the world go by; the vast majority of pictures on this post, therefore, were taken on my phone.

Star Princess Shots

There were still some photos of the ship itself, of course. Despite us having been on Star Princess before and despite us having been on Grand-class ships more than any other and despite the light not being great I still took photos of the pool and from the balcony. These things are not just traditional, they’re also a means by which I can assure my wife I’ve not been taken over by pod people. Had I not taken these sorts of shots then I would have been stabbed through the neck with a Princess biro and thrown overboard, and rightly so. I know they say you’re not supposed to throw anything overboard during the muster drill but there’s a good argument for exceptions being made for pod people.

The piazza hosted some Argentinian Tango dancing on a number of occasions and it was on one of these sea days that I managed to capture some of it (temporarily removed). This brought back fond memories of our previous cruise to this part of the world.

One of our big joys on this cruise was chancing upon the following sign on our cabin steward’s cleaning cart in the corridor outside our room. We already knew that we were in the area of the ship designated Ten Forward but to also discover that we were in Section 31 really made our Star Trek-loving hearts flutter with happiness.

We watched shoals of flying fish from our balcony for the best part of an hour on one of the sea days. There were easily over a hundred of them. We’d never seen them before and it was surprising not only how far they flew over the water but that they also changed direction so frequently. We had hoped that they were fleeing from something below that waves that would surface at some point but we never saw anything and for all we know they just really like the feel of air across their fins.

We swam both days because that’s what we do on cruise ships. Our preferred location is the adults only pool and that led to a run-in with a South American family whose young son started peeling off his outer layers ready to clamber into the pool. I swam to the side and tried to explain that it was adults only and that he wasn’t allowed. His mother came along. I explained to her. She pretended not to understand while reading the pool rules sign written in English. The father came along. I explained to him. I pointed to the sign that said it was for adults only and figured that word “adults” was probably similar enough in most languages to be understood. I tried to explain that there were four other pools on the ship that the kid could swim in. It would be fair to say that my attempts to be helpful were not appreciated. The sarcastic clapping I got from the father was proof of that. The gesture I got from the kid behind his parents’ backs was further proof. The loud laugh I gave to that which made the child’s face look like it was about to break into sobbing was something I am proud to have done and I’m only sorry that we never bumped into them again on the cruise as I would have delighted in smirking into that entire family’s faces.

Drinks On Star Princess

A surprising thing for us, given that we’d been on Diamond Princess only five months earlier, was that all the drinks menus had changed. The first two travel portfolio posts from this cruise have included scans of drink menus in Crooners and the Wheelhouse Bar, and below is another menu that was in a few other lounges around the ship in case you’re interested in seeing how much it will cost to damage your liver on a cruise.

It’s here that I’d like to give a quick mention of the Princess drinks packages. This is a topic that comes up frequently enough on Facebook groups that it still surprises me that nobody there has come up with a tool for group admins to pattern-match on certain keywords and direct anyone posting on that subject to a frequently asked questions page. I suppose Facebook still haven’t perfected their perversion of democracy through targeted political advertising yet but I’d like to think that once we’ve all transformed into fascist states they’ll get around to it.

The drinks package, though: if you’ve ever wondered whether it’s worth getting the drinks package on a Princess ship then for the love of all that’s holy, work it out yourself. Don’t ask anyone else because they won’t drink the same way you do and the advice you’ll receive will be useless. We’ve worked it out for us. We know that for us it is never worth the purchase price of the drinks package with Princess Cruises. Other lines may be different because the average price of a drink might be less and the package price might be less too. But with Princess we’ve determined that we would need to drink seven or eight drinks a day to make the package worth the price. We will typically have one big blow-out day on a cruise where we drink in excess of that and on a port day we won’t get anywhere close because we won’t be on the ship. On most sea days we still won’t hit the level required to make a drinks package worth it and we’re not light drinkers by any means but if you are a raging alcoholic then it might just be worth it for you. Again, though, only you can know that. The following photos show some of the drinks we had over the two sea days.

Edit: The above information and ranting was correct at the time of publishing for this cruise in 2019, but subsequent drinks package changes have changed that somewhat.

Formal Night

If this were a Facebook cruise group then moving from drinks packages to talking about formal night would be the ultimate in trolling, but it isn’t and, more importantly, this isn’t going to be a talk about appropriate wear for men and women in the dining room.

The first of our two sea days was the first formal night aboard Star Princess. Early evening saw us up in Skywalkers Nightclub which is transformed into the Elite Lounge for a few hours for Platinum and Elite level guests, serving up complimentary nibbles and exclusive, lower-priced cocktails. It was a popular location every day but especially so on the formal nights on this cruise. As we dined late in the evening we would always turn up in our shorts and tee shirts we’d been wearing during the day but others made more of an effort and plenty of attendees were already in their posh frocks and dinner suits or tuxedoes.

We ended up sharing a table with two older women, one a solo cruiser since her husband had passed away, the other someone who’d gone cruising with a friend only to discover they shared almost nothing in common and wanted to do completely different things both on and off the ship, and who had subsequently bumped into the first woman on the first day’s excursion, got chatting, and decided to hang around together and keep each other company. The solo cruiser had some stunning stories to tell about her experiences on cruises but I wouldn’t do them justice recounting them now so I shan’t.

While the food quality is usually very good indeed and the range of food options perfectly acceptable too (especially when you consider just how many people need to be catered for), we have often found that formal night dinner offerings on Princess leave a lot to be desired. The last formal night does tend to be a little better in terms of food choices with lobster often making an appearance but by then we’ve usually had enough of formal dining. For this first of the formals on Star Princess we were again marginally underwhelmed with dinner but the chocolate dessert was absolutely gorgeous, as usual.

One thing that happened during dinner made us smile. We were on a table for eight, sharing with an Australian couple, a Californian couple, and two Hungarian ex-pats who lived in America. During the main course the Hungarian man put down his cutlery and told us all at the table that he was so pleased he’d dined with us all that night because in the 44 years he’d been living in America and on all the cruises they’d taken this was the first time he’d ever sat with people who knew how to use their knives and forks properly.

Speciality Dining At Sabatini’s Italian Restaurant

While the formal night dinner had been mostly unexciting, the same cannot be said for our dining experience on the second of the two sea days.

When we’d booked this Star Princess cruise it had been during one of Princess’s 3-For-Free deals. The three free elements are additional onboard credit to offset against excursions and bar bills, one free speciality dining evening, and one bottle of wine. That’s all per person and not per cabin. In our room, therefore, on our arrival we’d been greeted by this:

It’s my understanding that you can change the allocated sitting date and time if it’s not suitable but even though it was considerably earlier than we’d normally eat (as we’re not barbarians), we figured that the time slot probably worked best for the restaurant’s planning so we’d go along with it. We’re good like that.

We’ve eaten in Sabatini’s before and enjoyed it immensely (even if we learned that you cannot trust an Italian chef to cook you a steak properly so just don’t even bother asking) so we were happy with the allocation of that restaurant. It was as we sat down for the meal that we realised that it wasn’t just the drinks menus on Star Princess that had changed; the Sabatini’s menu had been completely revamped too. Apparently, only a few ships in the fleet currently have this new menu and that’s a shame as it’s far superior to the older one.

First order of business was picking a wine and, true to recent form, Princess didn’t have the first one we wanted. It’s an Italian restaurant, Princess, so please have Barolo stocked. That moan out of the way, our waiter gave us a recommendation for a Pinot Noir that he said was similar and which, it turned out, we would have a number of additional times on the ship. It was bloody lovely. It’s worth mentioning here that the “free bottle of red or white wine” voucher that comes with the 3-For-Free deal is really just a wine discount and you pay the excess.

And so to our speciality dining food. Not pictured here is the basket of assorted bread that was delivered to the table. I feel nothing but shame for this omission on this occasion but can assure you that it was possibly the finest bread I’ve ever eaten. If you like bread half as much as I do – and that’s quite a challenge – then you are going to love the bread at Sabatini’s. Also not pictured is the plate of prosciutto and the deep fried pizza dough ball things (I don’t know how to describe them, but they were great!) with dipping sauce. This aperitivo course was described on the menu as “warm rustic whole-wheat loaf, tuscan zonzelle with roasted tomato & bell pepper passata, prosciutto crudo, extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar.” Again, I have no excuses other than to say that I’ve let myself down here. This wouldn’t be the only time that we went to Sabatini’s, though, so a later post in this cruise series will make up for this.

For our antipasti dishes my wife chose Frittino di Paranza (chickpea fritters, squid, prawns, eggplant, carrots, green beans, lemon garlic aioli) while I had Arrosticini di Agnello (grilled lamb skewers marinated with oregano & extra virgin olive oil, arugula salad).

Next up was a choice of soup or salad and we both went for the soup, the Grana Padano Fondue (celery, foraged mushrooms, toasted hazelnuts). Now, I don’t like cheese and I really don’t like mushrooms but this was unbelievably tasty. Plenty of bread was used mopping up the bowl.

Next was the pasta course, the dal pastaio. My wife picked Buckwheat Pappardelle (wide ribbon pasta, celeriac, nebbiolo-braised beef cheek) here while I chose the Tortelloni (mint-speckled pasta, roasted lamb, pecorino crosta nera, cacio e pepe sauce, broccoli rabe). The pasta was so good and the sauce was almost identical (and might even have been the same) to the soup I’d just devoured so this was particularly nice even if it meant I was in danger of overdosing on the stuff.

The secondi piatti course saw me choosing Scaloppine di Pollo, Salsa al Limoncello con Rosemarino (seared chicken breast, sorrento lemon, asparagus, rosemary sauce, garlic, pine nuts, capers, olive oil & parsley mashed potatoes) while my wife went for Porchetta (rolled pork belly toscana, potatoes, spinach, roasted tomato).

We went tiramisu crazy for dessert, both picking the famous Italian dish to finish the meal with and also selecting a tiramisu cocktail from the exclusive drinks list. The tiramisu was presented beautifully but its deconstructed and rearranged nature wasn’t what we were expecting and it seemed to lack that tiramisu taste overall.

The new Sabatini’s menu aboard Star Princess was excellent in every respect except one: there was too much food. I don’t want to hear any rubbish along the lines of “Nobody was forcing you to eat all that bread, Mark” because I’m half Irish and consider that a racist attack on me. After the cruise I gave feedback that amounted to saying “please reduce the portion sizes in Sabatini’s by about 20%” because speciality dining should be an occasion where you reach the end of the meal and feel comfortably full but neither of us did and we were both struggling ahead of dessert. I know that Princess are an American company first-and-foremost and that American culture has this thing of wanting value for money and taking food away in doggy bags when you order more than you can sensibly eat – indeed, we saw other people having portions of their courses wrapped up for them – but this just feels so very wrong to us.

That one gripe aside, though, our Sabatini’s dining experience was so good that not only did we book speciality dining at the Crown Grill during the cruise but we also booked a second sitting at Sabatini’s in order to try out some other courses from the superb menu.

After two days at sea we would next have two days on land, both in Peru, and the first of those will be covered in the next post in this series, featuring our excursion to an Incan administrative complex.

If we’re flying out then the holiday starts as soon as we’re through security at the airport so our first drink was at Heathrow. Nothing too fancy because they don’t really do fancy.

Once we were on the cruise ship and had taken a quick look around and some photos (see here: Exploring The Star Princess Cruise Ship) we checked our room to see if our luggage had arrived (it hadn’t) then hit Crooner’s Bar for our first drinks on board. I discovered Princess were doing a fabulous ale of their own (since discontinued).

Returning to our room and unpacking our luggage which had then arrived we were disturbed by a knock on the door. Because we’d booked a mini suite we were treated to a welcome aboard glass of champagne each from our steward. We’d completely forgotten this happened.

For the rest of the cruise, as mentioned, I tried to take photos whenever we had a new drink. What I didn’t do was note down what the drinks were. I should really start doing that. Looking back now at the photos I’m surprised there aren’t more shots of cocktails; I could have sworn I was a more adventurous drinker than that. Perhaps I had more of that ale than I remember.

I make it a point to always have a Vodka Martini on formal nights on a cruise ship. I don’t like the taste of the drink and I despise olives but it just feels like the right thing to do when I’m wearing a tuxedo. I figure at some point my taste buds will adapt to it. I’ve already worked out that the olives stay in the glass until half the glass is empty after which they are discarded; this imparts just the right amount of saltiness to the drink. It’s quite a harsh drink without it and like drinking brine at the bottom if the olives are left in too long.

The food shots mostly come from a night at the Crown Grill specialty restaurant on board the ship. We always try to make one visit to the restaurant when we cruise.

The only other food I took photos of was that we ate in Buenos Aires at the tango show. The steak was incredible. Beyond incredible. We were sat on a table of eight when the waiter came around to ask how everyone wanted their steak done; there were five “well done” responses and one brave person went for “medium/well done”. My wife: “rare”. Me: “rare”. We got a smile and nod from the waiter and nobody else did. When the food was brought out by a server he tapped the waiter on the back and pointed to the two steaks kept separate from the rest and my wife and I were duly pointed out. It might be our imagination but our steaks seemed to be placed down in front of us and everyone else’s was dropped. The meat was so tender, so tasty it didn’t need any extra seasoning. No other steak has come close to it and this was just a tango house in the Argentine capital. Dessert was the Argentine Dulce de Leche Crepe which was just fabulous too.

Note, because visitors to this page are up, up, up: No, this isn’t the new Star Princess (due to launch in 2025). This is the better one that Princess let go before thinking “Hey, what if we made a new cruise ship look like it was swallowing a marble!? And added in restricted areas just for the big spenders!? And a central piazza that’s just a solid wall of noise all day long!? And what if we named it after another ship we’d only very, very recently sent down under just to confuse people using search engines!?” And then you turned up here. And now you’re disappointed. Don’t blame me.

One big difference in the three cruises we’d taken by the end of this cruise was in our rooms; we’d started with an inside state room on Diamond, got a free upgrade to a balcony on the Crown, and decided that since we were splashing out on a big cruise into the southern hemisphere and the difference in price wasn’t huge we’d go that little bit extra and grab a mini suite on the Star Princess. The state room we ended up picking was D201, close to the front of the ship and on the starboard side. The reason we chose the front of the ship was because we love seeing and hearing the waves breaking against the bow of the ship; you just don’t get that so much further back. Also, we love the movement of the ship so central positions where the ship’s movements are less pronounced don’t really appeal to us. The reason we chose the starboard side was because we would be cruising around South America in a clockwise direction which would then place land on our side of the ship whenever we were close enough to it; while we love a good, wide ocean view as much as the next person this would allow us to break up the constant view of the water on occasion, providing more interest.

The mini suite was larger, with an extended section with a sofa and a second television set. We hadn’t thought we’d make use of that section but surprised ourselves with just how much we did. The bathroom was larger and included a full bath over which the standard shower was connected. We never got around to using the bath itself but the extra long drying line came in very useful for our swimming gear as we swam a lot during that cruise. Outside, the balcony was very large indeed. The one downside was that it was uncovered and therefore both looked upon and at the mercy of the elements. This didn’t end up being a problem during our cruise but it’s worth considering if privacy on a balcony is important or you’re going somewhere that weather might play a part. Naturally, there were wonderful, unobstructed views and we saw a spectacular night sky leaving Buenos Aires where we could make out the Milky Way despite a fair bit of light pollution.

Getting anywhere on the ship involved use of the stairwells and elevators, all of which were very much what we’d experienced before. Having our room on the deck we were on meant we walked up and down to our room when heading off to the various entertainment options we were typically interested in on the promenade deck throughout the day. Usually we’re very much walk down, elevator up people.

The piazza was exactly what we’d come to expect as well. Light, bright, but warm colouring. We’ve seen other cruise lines’ atriums that have flashier elements but they always seem to pair them with darker, contrasting parts too that make the areas seem more claustrophobic. We do like the open, clean look on Princess ships. There were occasional demonstrations or activities taking place in the piazza but the only one we spent any time looking at from memory was an Argentine Tango being performed.

The first place we had a drink on Star Princess was in Crooners, the piano and cocktail bar on deck 7 at the top of the piazza. During the day and early evening this was one of the best places to come for a quiet chat and to experience the great cocktail-making skills on display. The bar staff on Star Princess remain to this day the best as a group we’ve ever had the pleasure of being with. Drinks were poured on glasses balanced on chins and elbows, funny chat was commonplace, names and what we’d drunk before were remembered, nothing was too much trouble.

Other areas off the piazza or on deck 7 where most of the onboard activities took place included the theatre where we had our muster drill, Explorer’s Lounge where quizzes, BOGOs (buy one drink, get another for a dollar), and art auctions entertained us, Wheelhouse Bar for more BOGOs and some pleasing jazz from an onboard group, and the art gallery.

The promenade deck on Grand-class Princess ships (i.e. not on the newer Royal-class ships) are full, wraparound decks allowing for complete walking circuits, and they were very popular, particularly early in the evening when it seemed a lot of passengers would work off some calories before going for dinner. We took our promenade walks at a far more sedate pace and always loved the views out to the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.

On the top deck the big draw for most passengers is naturally the various swimming pools. In common with every cruise we’ve been on getting a lounger anywhere near a pool on a sea day was next to impossible which I wouldn’t mind if the people near the water were going to make use of the facilities but they typically don’t. As a result, because we’re averse to getting out of a pool and dripping everywhere up two decks to get to the lounger we managed to find tucked away down the side somewhere, we tended to do most of our swimming in the small pool by the Sanctuary as most people don’t seem to realise it’s there; it’s not ideal for swimming because of its size but it does in a pinch.

The large screen for movies, some sports activities, sun loungers, and great views to the horizon made up the rest of the attractions of the top decks of the Star Princess cruise ship, and if it wasn’t raining then the Zumba classes were held there too.

Another new feature for us and one thing different on the Star Princess compared to the other Grand-class ships we’d been on (and still have been on) was the positioning of Skywalkers Nightclub. On other ships it’s a little further forward, directly accessible from the rear elevators and stairwell but Star Princess and a few others make use of advances in materials weight during construction to shift the nightclub back where it can be reached on a travelator. From the outside this looks like a long tube connecting the club to the rest of the ship. At night it was lovely to step onto the moving walkway and glide along looking at the ocean views through the glass while a smiling member of staff usually waited at the end to see where we would sit in order to hover for a drinks order.

Skywalkers Nightclub was our regular late night stop after dinner. We got to know the staff there pretty well and always enjoyed the disco despite the penchant of the resident DJ, Pedro, to play latin. He’d play requests that would fill the dancefloor then immediately switch to something he liked and everyone would vanish back to their seats. The inability of the DJ to read a crowd notwithstanding, it was a great end to every evening.