The scale of the commercial docks of Lima was evident in the hazy morning sunshine and it was further evidence that as a cruise destination this city may not be quite ready just yet; sharing the industrial docks and battling the traffic in and out of the port area presently adds a painful overhead to any visit. However, we were told that a dedicated cruise terminal was planned or was already being constructed so we’d love to come back in a few years to see what a difference that makes as it’s a country with a lot of appeal.

Clearing the harbour entrance, we met a flotilla of fishing vessels. Living in a naval port we see a lot of naval vessels but not very many fishing boats so the behaviour of them is something that is a bit of an unknown to us. I suppose I’ve always assumed that the activities of a trawler are solitary so seeing so many vessels together in what most closely resembled some gathering as if for war came as a bit of a surprise.

Fishing business was clearly booming in the waters off Peru, and not just for the humans aboard their boats. In addition to dolphins (a little too far away to get decent photos) we found our ship accompanied for a long period by pelicans skimming over the ocean’s surface, looping around Star Princess, switching from port to starboard every few minutes. I can only guess that the ship ploughing through the water either disturbed the fish and brought them closer to the surface or it provided some form of cover for the pelicans in search of a snack or pelicans have terrible eyesight and mistook the ship for the Pelican Queen. We occasionally saw one dive out of the air and into the Pacific but whether any were successful at what we assume was fishing and not just extreme showering I can’t say, nor did I manage to have my camera on me and pointed in the right direction when it happened.

Star Princess Sea Day Events

With Peru behind us we gave some thought to some extended time aboard Star Princess. This would be the first of three sea days now with us due to cross the equator late the following day. Having spent the best part of five hours in traffic the day before it’s no exaggeration to say that three days at sea sounded like absolute heaven.

The Princess Patter didn’t give us any must attend events but that was fine with us. We know what to expect at sea these days on a Princess ship and we’re happy so long as the pool is open, we’ve got our books, and some unnatural disaster hasn’t struck the ship and turned all the bars into rubble.

Heading past the piazza early on I stopped for a while to watch the paper plane competition. Passengers taking part in this activity needed to fly their creation through a hoop and achieve the greatest distance. I didn’t stay around long enough to see what the prize was but the entrants’ crafts included the expected array of darts that dove straight into the ground and those that almost took the eyes out of people seated around the ground floor level of the area so provided for a decent amount of entertainment.

Later in the day the piazza hosted Afternoon Grooves with the band Static. Hailing from Guyana, I have to say that they are by a country mile the best band we’ve seen perform on a cruise ship. You can see their Facebook page here – Static Band – which will tell you what ships they are due to be performing on, and if you get a chance to see their great singing, excellent musical ability, and infectious (and sweaty) energy of Marlon for yourself then you won’t be disappointed.

Food And Drink

Of course we had a drink or two. Possibly even more than two. In fact, this was one of those very rare occasions where we drank more than we’d need to in order to make a drinks package worth the cost. Of course, for this to really work we’d need to drink this much every day, port or at sea, and while I’m always up for a challenge I am going to have to insist that you foot the bill for it if you want me to take part.

Early afternoon, following a swim and something to eat from the poolside grill, our first drink was taken on our balcony so that we could read to the sound of the sea rolling past and keep an eye out for more marine life. I know there are people who like inside cabins and who say they can always head to an outside deck if they want sea air but there’s nothing like having your own balcony, the shelter, the peace, the nobody stealing your chair when you stand up. A little later we hit Vines for some wine as we enjoyed the venue a lot on this cruise and Zander, who was managing it, had cemented himself as the perfect host from the very first day aboard. We’d often chat to him if it wasn’t busy in there and he constantly tried to get us to take his tapas – free if you’re drinking wine – for which we mostly made excuses to skip but on occasion, like this day, gave in to make him happy.

Early evening found us in our regular haunt, Crooners, and the Wheelhouse Bar, just for a change, for cocktails. The Wheelhouse Bar was always quiet and we remarked what a difference two cruises a few years apart had made. When we’d sailed on Star Princess for our 2016 cruise in South America the BOGO promotion had still been in place (buy one drink, get another one the same for $1 extra, for one hour only in certain venues around the ship at certain times of the day). That had been a great way to get people to move around the ship more and we’d had loads of enjoyable times meeting up with groups in the Wheelhouse or Skywalkers or Explorers. When Princess stopped that promotion they promised they would replace it with something else but they never did. I guess they looked at the bottom line and figured they didn’t need to and assumed everyone would gradually forget it had ever been a thing. The result a few years on is a club now typically devoid of any atmosphere at night and a sorely underused bar in an otherwise decent location. I’m sure the company knows what it’s doing and I refuse to comment on any sarcasm you may read into that statement.

Dinner was lovely, as usual, and made even more so by the appearance of key lime pie for dessert. That’s almost an obligatory dessert choice when we see it on the menu. After dinner we made sure we were up in Skywalkers for 22:00 when the 70s Disco Hour was due to start. Is there anything nicer than enjoying the sounds of Sylvester and Chic and KC & The Sunshine Band while slurping cocktails at sea? Maybe, but this was still a very fine end to a very relaxing day and all with the promise of another one to come.

The evening’s cruise excursion was to see Lima’s fountain light show, more commonly known as the Magic Water Circuit, taking place in the Park of the Reserve. The circuit consists of over a dozen different fountains around the park which currently hold the world record for the largest fountain complex in the world. There is a thrice-nightly laser and picture show on the longest of the fountains and it is this that is the biggest draw for the crowds.

With the fountain light show excursion being one of only two organised excursions off the ship in the evening (the other being a city drive and meal) it was a pretty popular one and there were a lot of buses gathered alongside Star Princess for our 17:00 departure. We boarded and were off at a snail’s pace through the industrial port for obvious safety reasons, but once into the city we… didn’t really pick up much speed either. The Park of the Reserve is about 8 or 9 kilometres from Callao. We’d already had the sheer joy that was spending an hour each way in the morning to get to the slightly farther away district of Miraflores so our expectation was that, at most, it would take us 45 minutes to get to where we needed to be.

But no.

I don’t think I could ever recommend anyone driving in Lima. It is horrendous. Now, there was a mitigating factor for this visit as it was on the same night as a football match taking place in Estadio Nacional, Peru’s national stadium. The biggest problem there is that Estadio Nacional is right next to Parque de la Reserva. Even still, the traffic long before we hit the centre of Lima was awful.

Our excursion included driving past some important buildings with an explanation of the history behind them and this was all still done despite the clock ticking down to when the light show would start. Our bus then had to wait what seemed an eternity for the police – doing their best to direct the rolling traffic jam into free areas – to allow us to park and get out. We got to the park with ten minutes to spare before the start of the 19:15 show. That’s over two hours to get us no more than 9 kilometres from the port in case you failed GCSE maths.

But wait! There are toilets!

Yes, there is a block of toilets just inside the entrance to the park and if you’ve ever been on a cruise ship excursion then you know that any toilets mean a toilet stop for half the people on your bus. And so we waited and looked at the time and stared at the nearby fountains and listened to our guide count how many of us were gathered and try to work out how many were still in a cubicle doing whatever they needed to do that couldn’t possibly have been done on the bus in transit.

Fantasia Fountain

Fantasia Fountain (Fuente de la Fantasia) was the main fountain we’d come to see. This is the 120-metre-long fountain with jets and lights that are synchronised to the laser and picture show. We arrived directly in front of it at the split second that the show started which was a relief for us although I have to wonder whether everyone else who’d taken this cruise excursion with Princess on this night felt the same way as our bus had been one of the first to get out of the port.

The show itself was excellent. Movie projections, music, sound effects, coloured jets, lasers, the works. There were a lot of people around, as you can imagine, but I got a decent view and didn’t block anyone else as I recorded the entire light show on my phone. Indeed, an older, American couple from our bus who were right beside me watched the show on my phone as it was easier for them to see and they told me what a wonderful phone I had as the show came to an end. Yes, I replied, it’s an excellent phone. Of course, you can’t see that video because it was lost in the Great Android Phone Video Sync Foul-Up Of 2019 which we never talk about. I was not thinking how excellent my phone was when that happened.

Tunnel Fountain Of Surprises

With the main laser and video show complete our group was taken on a walk around part of the rest of the water circuit in the park, eventually reaching the Tunnel Fountain Of Surprises (Fuente Túnel de las Sorpresas). This was a long arch of water jets that you could walk through and through which many people did. The “surprise” came from the fact that if you touched a jet of water and interrupted it then the interruption would carry along down the tunnel and spray anyone else ahead of you. A more appropriate name for this fountain might be Tunnel Fountain of Just Go Ahead And Drench Everyone because that’s pretty much all that happened. Lots of laughter, lots of shrieking, lots of people dripping with water emerging from the end, and, in our case, lots of not going anywhere near it because camera equipment is expensive.

Magic Fountain

Heading back towards the park’s entrance in order to return to the bus took us to Magic Fountain (Fuente Mágica). This was probably the singularly most attractive of the fountains we saw with some very nice pulses of light and jets taking place constantly before the water pressure built to shoot a single jet 80 metres high. It was very impressive to watch and with its lighting made for some nice photographs of people silhouetted in front of it.

Return To Callao And Evening Plans

And so we headed outside to hop back on our bus. Except it wasn’t there. Our bus could not get to us because of the traffic and because the police were still routing vehicles away from where they wanted to go. A long wait ensued. Buses were turning up away from where we were standing and people occasionally headed off to see if any of them were ours before returning with heads shaking. After what seemed like a lot longer in the sultry evening climate but what may have been only 20 minutes we got a wave from our guide to follow her and we traipsed off around a corner and down a road to finally board the bus to get us back to Callao. The best thing that can be said about the drive back was that it was definitely quicker than coming out but still quite tedious and far too long for our liking. By the time we were back at Star Princess we’d spent close to five hours on buses during our day in Lima.

We had originally planned to take the free shuttle bus from the port back out to Miraflores in order to enjoy the delights that Lima after-dark had to offer (and we’d set our sights on a local brewery in the area about 15 minutes from where the bus stop would drop us) but the combination of not wanting to spend another 90 minutes of our lives (best guess) aboard a bus that day along with discovering that the last bus returning to the port would mean we’d probably only get around 45 minutes to an hour of time in the capital’s pretty district led to us quickly changing our minds. Not only that, but one of the things we really like to do is drink local ales when we visit a new place and we’d already managed that during the morning’s trip. It was disappointing but just one of those things in the grand scheme of things.

So, bad luck for our visit to coincide with major roadworks in the city and a football match in the evening too. We would love to visit Lima and other places in Peru again because it’s somewhere that not a huge amount of cruise ships visit and there is plenty to see. The country is definitely working on improving its cruise port capabilities with better access to Pisco already underway and a dedicated terminal planned in Lima too so give it a few years and I can see us looking into making a return trip. The Lima fountain light show is worth a look if you’re in the city and it’s priced very reasonably if this is something you’re doing on your own; on a cruise excursion I’d maybe check football schedules ahead of time, though, before making any firm commitments.

Lima, the capital of Peru, was a port where we were notified of an itinerary change a few months before the cruise but it was very much appreciated indeed; instead of an evening departure we would be staying overnight! This changed our plan for the city. Instead of an in-depth cruise excursion to get as much done as possible we opted to break our extended day into three chunks covering some sights, a bit of culture, and the social side of the city: exploring Miraflores on our own, hitting the famous Lima fountain show in the evening, then heading into the city centre overnight.

Well, that was our plan. Lima would have something to say about that.

Port Of Callao, Lima

We were cruising on Princess Cruises‘ Star Princess, a fact you’ll already know if you’ve been reading the rest of this cruise diary series or if you’ve seen the travel portfolio structure at the top of this post or the tags at the bottom. There is something very important that you need to know if you’re cruising into Lima with Princess Cruises and, quite likely, other lines too: you cannot arrange independent travel for yourself at the port of Callao.

This isn’t a case of “nobody’s been able to do it but you’ve got a plucky look about you and just might have the skills” statement; it’s a restriction. And it might be that the restriction is lifted in the future, especially if a new cruise port is built (as we believe is the case), but for now it’s not possible. You are not allowed to walk off the ship unless you are with the cruise line and the cruise line will not drop you off anywhere near Callao. If you’re not on an organised excursion then your daytime activities are limited to the ship, although you can take the free shuttle bus to Miraflores (about 12 kilometres away) or San Miguel (a little closer, but running fewer times) later in the evening when the buses become freed up from their excursion duties. The port area, though, is a no-no. Miraflores and San Miguel are nowhere near the historic centre of Lima so if that’s where you’ve got your heart set on then you have to take public transport from those stops and, importantly, it’s from those stops that you must return; you can’t taxi back to Callao in the evening because you won’t be allowed in the port unless you’re on the cruise’s shuttle bus. If you miss the last shuttle bus then prepare for an extended stay in the Peruvian capital.

In case you’re wondering, the restriction around Callao is because of apparently high levels of crime and past incidences of tourists being mugged. For your safety and to stop the cruise companies getting sued (“My camera was stolen when I wandered down an unlit alley by the dock after midnight. I demand compensation!”) you have to accept that Callao is a port you’re only going to see through a bus window. To be fair, with it being a busy industrial port and the area around it geared up for the business that passes through there’s not a lot to see anyway.

Miraflores

Thus it was that we were off the ship nice and early for our excursion (effectively, a narrated bus ride with free time once we arrived at our destination) to Miraflores, an affluent district of Peru’s capital with clifftop views out over the long, sandy beach of the coastline on the Pacific Ocean. It’s not a place thriving with museums or historical interest with the exception of the pre-Inca ruin of Huaca Pucllana, a pyramidal structure dating to the early centuries CE. Unfortunately, the ruins are closed one day per week and I’ll leave you to guess from the lack of any photos of them as to what day we visited Lima.

Remember me saying that Lima had different things in mind with regards to our day’s plans? Well, it was on the drive to Miraflores that we got our first hint of that. I’ve driven and been driven in many capital cities around the world. Let me tell you: Lima is bloody awful. Or, to be fair, it was when we were there. The traffic was horrendous. The road layouts do not have much room to expand or be improved upon and an underground public transport system is but a dream. Roadworks were a sign that something was being attempted but all it was succeeding in doing was transforming our 12 kilometre drive into nearly an hour of crawling to our destination.

We were glad to reach Miraflores and get off the bus at Larcomar, the district’s shopping mall built into the cliff. Indeed, from where you first step foot in this area you cannot even see the mall as it is all below ground level, but you’re instantly drawn towards it as the roof of the complex serves as a fabulous viewing platform down to the shore and out to sea.

We already had a bit of a plan formed as to what we’d do in Miraflores with two parks being on the agenda for the time we’d have in the area. Having passed one of the parks on the way to Larcomar and deciding it looked even better than we’d expected we decided to head to that one first which would naturally take us in a roughly northwest direction along the cliff top at Miraflores. Even if we hadn’t had an outline of a plan we’d have probably headed that way anyway as we saw something that instantly caught our eyes: a statue of Paddington Bear!

I mean, it’s only Peru’s greatest fictional export dressed in the colours of the union flag! Who else can say they saw Paddington in Peru? This statue was commissioned by the British embassy and was unveiled in 2015, partly to promote the movie at the time but also to celebrate cultural links between the United Kingdom and Peru. If you’re wondering just what cultural links other than Paddington exist between the United Kingdom and Peru then join the club.

We followed the flat but curving clifftop path in conditions that were both hot and, thanks to the proximity to the water, humid. To fend off the onset of sweat for as long as humanly possible I made sure to take plenty of momentary stops in order to photograph the impressive views.

“Ooh, there’s a pier down there!” I said at one point. “We like a pier!”

“We do like a pier, you’re right,” agreed my wife. “But is there an elevator that will take us down and back up the cliff?”

“Not that I can see,” I answered, looking left and right along the cliff edge.

“Then you can fuck right off if you think we’re going to take a look at it.”

Intihuatana Sculpture

Just before we reached Puente “Mellizo” Villena Rey, an attractive bridge crossing a small break in the cliff to allow traffic from the beach area to ascend, we came to Parque Intihuatana, a very small park barely more than a grassy area by the roadside but one with an impressive concrete sculpture. As the park’s name implied, this was the Intihuatana Sculpture, created by sculptor Fernando de Szyszlo in 2014. Intihuatana are symbolic stones used by the Inca in astronomical observations with notable examples existing in Machu Pichu, for instance. As a fan of brutalist design this was a wonderfully pleasing piece of art to see up close.

Parque Del Amor (Love Park)

When I’d first suggested Lima’s Love Park to my wife I’d received a look that conveyed questions and threats in equal measure but I’d quickly explained that there were no hippy connections that I was aware of and it was because it appeared to bear more than a passing resemblance to Park Güell in Barcelona with its mosaic-tiled walls and sculptures that it had appealed to me. She’d already agreed that it would probably be nice to see before we’d driven past it on the way to Larcomar when her enthusiasm ratcheted up a notch further.

We headed past some cacti where I lamented the fact that a plant had been defaced for no good reason (seriously, stop doing that you arseholes), crossed the bridge, and made our way to the park.

If you’ve seen the Joan Martorell and Antoni Gaudí-designed park in Barcelona then, no, Parque Del Amor isn’t a patch on it, either in size or style. But it will be instantly familiar in appearance, it’s still a nice little place to take in, and it’s got far lovelier views, those being of an ocean as opposed to a city. The mosaic designs are nice – you can see some ancient Peruvian tribal influences in some of them – but not spectacular, but it’s still a place that’s worth a stroll around.

The large sculpture in the middle of the park is called El Beso, meaning The Kiss, and is a representation of the sculptor and his wife kissing. It was built in 1993 by Víctor Delfín whose works are often inspired by the Paracas culture, something we’d seen a bit of during our previous day in Peru in the Ica region. This is apparently a popular place to come for wedding photos and on Valentine’s Day.

Leaving the first of the two parks we wanted to explore we retraced our steps, taking us back across the bridge we’d crossed then following the pedestrian path that took us under it so we could start to head away from the coastline.

Kennedy Park And Central Park

The park we were heading for was Parque John F. Kennedy (I’ll leave you to work out who that park was named in honour of) but it was separated from a second park – Parque Central de Miraflores – by a pedestrianised road and you can pretty much treat the two areas as one. The reason we wanted to see this park wasn’t for any historical significance but because it used to be home to hundreds of stray cats, very popular with tourists. Now, prior to our cruise we’d learnt that there had been a programme enacted by the nearby church to find homes for the cats and that this had met with a lot of success, so we knew that there wouldn’t be as many around but we understood there would still be some, and we like cats. We’re cat people. Not in the Nastassja Kinski sense.

If you’ve read any of our previous cruise and travel accounts you might be thinking that travelling around the world and going off to find stray cats isn’t very typical for us and it’s hard to argue with that. The truth is, there wasn’t a huge amount that we could find to interest us in Miraflores; the two things in the area that had initially been high on our list were the ancient ruins (closed) and a brewery that made loads of local ales (a hobby of ours, but one thwarted by its opening times not aligning with our trip) so when we’d searched for other popular activities that weren’t shopping this was pretty much it.

I’m pleased to say that we weren’t disappointed with the cats; there were plenty walking around, laying around, or being made a fuss of by locals and tourists alike.

We weren’t disappointed with the park (or parks) either. There were plenty of shaded spots, lots of places to sit, loads of interesting sculptures or designed elements to break up the area and attract attention, and the spot of greenery in the middle of busy and noisy roads was a welcome oasis in the city.

Alongside Kennedy Park was the Parroquia La Virgen Milagrosa, a Catholic church with towers in a very typical South American style of architecture, renowned for dramatic illuminations inside during services. Fenced off from the parks adjacent to the church was an area specifically for the cats with sleeping spots, sheltered areas, and bowls of water.

Café De La Paz, Miraflores

I’ve mentioned that it was very hot and you might not know this if this is your first time reading one of the fine articles present on this site (I’m not above a little self-promotion every now and then) but we don’t cope well with heat. The park had been relatively cool thanks to the shade of the trees but that just made emerging into the intense sunshine that much worse. We would typically have carried on exploring the streets in search of interest while angling around and back towards the bus stop but a waiter stepping out from Café De La Paz took one look at our beetroot-coloured faces, suggested the shade of his establishment, and we ended up breaking with tradition and going along with it.

We’re cautious with ordering food as, while we’re adventurous in many ways, we know that there are things we don’t like to eat. It’s not just external heat we don’t like; neither of us copes well with chili either and we’re aware that this particular foodstuff that inflicts pain where other edible items have evolved to have flavour instead is popular in this part of the world. So, scanning the menu for something that seemed local and translating the Spanish as best as possible in my head to avoid agony we ended up ordering Butifarra Artesanal. This is a Peruvian speciality, a sandwich made with a local type of ham, avocado, crispy bacon, and lettuce. It took a little while to arrive to be fair but this was because it was all freshly prepared and, importantly, it was absolutely gorgeous.

Of course, we needed something to quench our thirst while we were waiting for the food and Barbarian Red Ale called out to us. We always try to drink local ale if we can and this one – from Cervecería Barbarian, one of the first craft breweries in Lima – was absolutely spot on for us. We lean towards ambers and rubies when it comes to ale and this couldn’t have been more perfect for the day.

Miraflores Street Art

We had time for a gentle walk back to the bus and made every effort to spend our Peruvian Sols in the shops along the way with limited success. However, there was some attractive and generally very good quality street art along the route we took and if we’d had a little more time then I might have explored some of the side roads in order to take a closer look at it.

Arriving at the bus pick-up point with a few minutes to spare we headed down into the Larcomar shopping mall but the high end shops that were there were not really the sort of thing we were looking for and other than an odd sculpture of melting ice lollies there wasn’t anything that we found interesting.

The bus ride back to Callao where Star Princess was waiting for us took longer than the trip out with the bulk of it seemingly just at the port entrance itself thanks to several buses all coming back at once. How we didn’t hit other buses or parked cars along the roads at the port on at least two occasions during this period I’ll never know. It felt like organised chaos, light on the organisation, but did provide some amusement when we found ourselves stranded across rail tracks at one point staring at a train that some people claimed was moving towards us just to wind up fellow passengers.

In total, we spent over two hours on the bus going out and coming back and were deliriously happy to get back onto the ship. In the next post I’ll cover our evening in Lima and how our plans were changed thanks to even worse traffic conditions in Peru’s capital at night.

Driving Through Pisco

This is not the most attractive part of the world. A lack of rainfall makes for incredibly dusty surroundings and even the greenery that we found mostly inland lacked vibrancy and felt like it was coated with a film of dirt. A fan of shades of beige might yet find this bit of Peru appealing but it’s hard to find anything to say positively about the buildings that occasionally line the roads or form part of the bigger towns or the city of Pisco itself. Far from looking like homes or shops this more closely resembled a tens-of-kilometres-long, sprawling building site, one in which there was once a project to build something but funding, like the land around it, simply dried up. But that appearance is deliberate and it’s there for two reasons.

Firstly, there is a practical reason: earthquakes. Along the western coast of South America is a major fault line. It’s why there are volcanoes in Chile, for instance, and why there are tsunami warnings and evacuation routes on many shorelines. The buildings are kept low as a result, for stability and safety, and the care and attention that might otherwise be given to the way a structure looks is tempered by the realisation that there’s a reasonable chance in a big quake that there will be damage, so maybe don’t worry about it so much.

The second reason is financial: certain tax payments only start having to be made once a building is completed so many buildings never are. You’ll see places with tarpaulins insteads of roofs or you’ll see rebars jutting out of the top floor of homes or businesses, a way of saying “Oh, yeah, no, we’re, er, definitely going to be putting a new level on this building soon, er, just as soon as the, um, funds become available, and, er, yeah, we’re just living in the building on the ground floor for now but, yeah, we’ll really, really finish this house off, like, soon. Ish.”

The video below (temporarily removed) shows a highly-edited view of the drive back from Tombo Colorado through Pisco and towards the Paracas National Reserve and in it you’ll be able to see just how barren the Peruvian landscape is and the state of the buildings. You’ll also be able to spot painted, political advertising on many walls; that’s the large writing mainly in blue and pinky-red on white. One thing we’ve loved about visiting South America on two occasions now is just how politically active the people are. Too many people back home just don’t care enough and will ultimately blame the wrong people – that’s anyone but themselves – when they become victims of that complacency. But you didn’t come here to have me moan about lazy-minded, self-destructive gits; you’re here for shades of beige.

Paracas National Reserve

The landscape became emptier but far more interesting as we drove back into and through the Paracas National Reserve. There was something enchanting about the wide open spaces here and far more clean-looking whiteness on the ground and on the hill tops. If you saw those sorts of colours in colder climates you’d think they were ice or snow but here they were salt deposits.

You might look at the arid photos below and think “Well, I guess there are no slugs there” and you’d probably be right but that’s quite odd that your mind went there. You might more sensibly wonder how anything could really survive or flourish or why this might be a national reserve at all. Even in years with little or no rainfall at all, for part of them this area still springs to life thanks to the local ecosystem, known as the lomas. The water along the Pacific side of South America is very cold on account of the Humboldt current that flows upwards from Antarctica. The land in the northern areas of Chile and into Peru tends to be a lot warmer by comparison and this causes fog banks to form along the coast and drift inland, the moisture then transforming the land much like an oasis in the desert. A wide range of plants, algae, mammals, and birds, therefore, call this part of Peru their home. But possibly not slugs, no.

And, about 75 minutes after we’d left Tambo Colorado, we arrived at – to give it its full name – Terminal Portuario General San Martín. We were out of water, having finished ours off during the excursion, so first order of business back on board was to grab something to quench the thirst and a snack from the International Café.

The Paracas Candelabra

Refreshed inside (thanks to the bars) and out (thanks to the shower) and with dusty shorts having been given a wash (thanks to the shower again) and drying (thanks to having a balcony and bringing along clothes pegs (top cruise tip: bring clothes pegs)) we made our way to the Elite Lounge for some nibbles and another drink but brought along the camera. The reason I did this was because we’d had an announcement over the tannoy by Captain Tuvo in his typically humorous style, stating that since we’d all been very good and got back aboard ship on time he would treat us to a slow pass of the Paracas Candelabra during our departure. This was an unexpected bonus, although I suspect an annoying one for those who’d taken an excursion to see it during the day. As we started to round the northern face of the Paracas peninsula we left the people with whom we’d been sharing a table there (and who, despite showing a lot of interest in the candelabra, thought that photos through the tinted and dirty glass of the nightclub venue would suffice) and headed out onto deck to snap some shots.

The Paracas Candelabra is a prehistoric geoglyph, most likely created by the Paracas people, the Andean society that preceded the Nazca. The famous Nazca Lines are also geoglyphs but the candelabra predates them; pottery fragments from the area put its formation at around 200 BCE, towards the end of their culture. At 181 metres in height, the design – which is over half a metre deep and surrounded by stones – can apparently be seen from almost 20 kilometres away at sea. It’s a testament to the climate conditions of the Ica region of Peru that the geoglyph is still very visible 2200 years after its creation.

Although it’s called the Paracas Candelabra, the actual motif is a matter of debate. Some people claim it is the trident of Viracocha, the creator god in many pre-Inca cultures. Others claim it is the world tree. You can be pretty certain that some cretins will state they’re landing runways for alien UFOs, too, but for now, those scholars who favour it as one of the murder weapons in an early version of Cluedo have the weight of numbers behind them.

After the ship had spent enough time just off the peninsula so that anyone who wanted to take a look and grab some photos could do so, we started to pull away from land on our northwards trek towards the next port, Lima. We kept an eye on the sea for a while as earlier in the day, prior to our excursion, the water around the ship had been teeming with jellyfish and seals, but a chilly wind picked up as we cleared the headland and we soon headed inside.

Evening Food And Drink

To complete this first day in Peru aboard Star Princess, our evening meal and some further evidence of drinking. It was very hot and very dry. We were only thinking of our hydration levels and general health.

The excursion we picked was to visit the Inca administrative complex Tambo Colorado situated about 40 kilometres inland from the coastal city of Pisco which was around 40 kilometres from where the cruise shop was docked, making for travel time of between an hour and an hour and a half. We don’t tend to do wildlife-based excursions when we’re travelling, favouring historical options when possible, so while the reserve area sounded interesting this would be a chance to set foot on ground that the Inca people walked on and that sort of travel experience is more important to us.

This area of the world is dry and dusty so there wasn’t a lot of beauty to see on the drive to Tambo Colorado although some of the wide open views across the bay and back to the ship as we drove around its edge were lovely. Sadly, video footage from this point on in the cruise is limited to what was shot on my cheap GoPro knock-off and that was mainly from vehicles (although none heading out on this excursion); upon my return all the video I’d taken bar that which has already been posted in the articles covering the start of the cruise and Chile was lost during cloud syncing. It’s a sore subject and one I don’t want to dwell on and I’ll thank you to never mention it again. Even if I will. Constantly. Anyway, there will be some video in the next post as I did take some on the drive back to the port and that will give you a chance to see the Paracas landscape as well as the unfinished-looking buildings that the all local Peruvians live in. The reason for that will be explained then.

Tambo Colorado

We don’t like hot temperatures yet keep visiting places that have them and inland Peru has them. To be fair, until this point all of our trips to places that had made us say “Fuck me!” as we stepped out of air-conditioned environments had been in more tropical climates and we’d not experienced the almost stinging sensation of a dry heat so at least that was something new.

The entrance to Tambo Colorado has a small car park, a small information centre (calling its single room a museum would be a stretch), some toilets at the back of it, and plenty of local salespeople with wares spread out on blankets on the ground or on makeshift stalls. It was very interesting to see some of the people selling trinkets whose bloodlines were clearly native Indian although I refrained from photographing them. That’s the sort of action that ends up with you being bullied or guilted into buying a stone on a string for the cost of a weekend break on the Isle of Wight.

An inevitable wait for fellow passengers to use the loos then a quick look around the information centre to see archaeological finds and models of the site as it originally looked before we ran the gauntlet of salespeople and headed into the Tambo Colorado complex.

Tambo Colorado was built in the late 1400s and was an administrative centre located along the main route to the coast. This was during the reign of Pachacuti who has an absolutely fascinating (bloody, naturally) history and if you don’t know anything about his rise to power and formation of the Inca Empire then please do read that link.

We began our tour in the open square which gave us a good sense of the scale of the complex as well as a better understanding of how the structure was arranged. The long wall along the northern edge with its regular niches was particularly nice but it was to a ceremonial platform that we were first taken and where some of the activities performed there were explained. The Inca used these platforms as connections to other planes (the world of above, the world of here, and the world of the dead). Originally constructed to be places for ceremonial liquid offerings they were also used to conduct astronomical observations and, as you’d probably already guessed based on your own idea about South American Indian tribes, sacrifices did come into fashion for a while too, though whether any took place at Tambo Colorado because of its administrative function is not known.

So, Terry, looks like your report on trade between the coast and highlands is late.
Yeah, a touch of the old upset tummy. I’ll have it you next Tuesday if that’s okay.
I’m afraid not. I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.
You don’t mean…?
Yeah, sorry about this. To the ceremonial platform for you. Joan, would you bring my knife?

A feature of Inca architecture was immediately obvious, that being the trapezoidal shape present in doorways, niches, and windows. Even the open square of Tambo Colorado that separated the main, large, northern buildings from the smaller southern section was arranged in the shape of a trapezoid. The significance of the shape is not known for certain but one possible explanation is that it is less susceptible to earthquake damage, Peru being quite prone to this particular form of natural disaster. This seems plausible when referring to wall-construction techniques as Peruvian walls are generally made with irregularly-shaped blocks that resist movement, and ancient structures have been shown to have broadly trapezoidal forms within that context. For a door or window, though, it’s less obvious that this is a stronger form. A second explanation is that this is the work of aliens. It’s the sort of thing they’d do.

The Inca painted the adobe walls of Tambo Colorado in horizontal ochre bands coloured red, yellow, white, and black because good taste was lacking in the region. Or it’s what the aliens wanted. Whatever the reason was, the dry climate means that a lot of the original material still remains on the walls now (mostly the red and yellow) and, while it’s all cracked and faded, just standing in the ruins of the complex makes it easy to imagine how it all looked when it was new. Pretty gaudy, but probably quite impressive.

Incan architecture tends to be sympathetic to the lay of the land so the levels present in Tambo Colorado were built up as the ground naturally rose towards the hills surrounding it. This, of course, gave plenty of opportunities to see views out over the tops of some of the walls but also meant that exploring inside would sometimes require climbing or descending steps. Interestingly, while the general form of the trapezoid continued to be present in every room we were taken through, there seemed to be no real design to the room layouts; corridors were narrow, barely able to squeeze two past at a time, and rooms would appear out of nowhere in various sizes and configurations. This could have been a defensive measure, designed to slow down any attacking force, or the architect might just have been half-cut on pisco sour when he came up with the plans. But never rule out alien influence too.

One room stood out from the others, this being one with a deep recess in the floor. This was the bath or pool and I imagine it would have been a very popular location in the complex on days like the one we visited. How long the water would stay in the pool before it soaked into the ground or how the pool was filled in the first place was something I didn’t hear. Due to the small size of the room we could only enter in groups of half a dozen and I missed the explanation, if there was one, quite possibly when I was explaining to an American woman that yes, I understood she wanted to come into the room too but that unless she had access to molecular phase-shifting technology that would allow me to pass through her she was going to have to back out of the doorway first so I could make room. People, eh?

We had some spare time at the end of the guided part of the tour of Tombo Colorado where we could either head back to the toilets, museum, salespeople, or bus or we could wander around a little more on our own. We elected to do the latter although I was careful not to head too far into the maze of rooms or onto higher levels we’d not yet seen as my wife gets anxious when she thinks she might get lost. I have learnt that when you’re asked “Do you know where we are?” that the answer should always be “Absolutely! Map in my head. Perfect sense of direction. I can picture where we are to within a metre on a map. Don’t you worry about a thing, we’ve got plenty of time and I know the route out of here and how long it will take.” I think we’ve only really got lost a couple of times and I’m pleased to report this wasn’t one of them.

Tambo Colorado is very exposed on account of none of the roofing structures surviving, and the dry climate in the region made for a very intense heat with almost no shade so our water did not last long despite us taking twice as much as we normally pack for excursions. It was a great experience to visit a place built and occupied by the Inca and I’d definitely recommend it if you’ve an interest in history or are paranoid about fictional alien influences in ancient South American architecture.