Our arrival at this part of Chile had been to low, grey cloud and poor visibility and with our day’s planned activities to include a trip up a volcano we were initially disappointed. However, as our guide pointed out, it was early in the day and the sun had not yet had time to burn off the cloud that had come down from the mountains and the mist that had come up off the sea and lakes in the area. He was proven right as just minutes before our arrival at the waterfalls the conditions seemed to completely change and blue sky lit the area.

The waterfalls are not your “thundering down the edge of a cliff”-type of natural feature but are, instead, described as “chute-type” which makes them far lower-lying. Nevertheless, they and the river were very pretty, with striking blue colours. With some sheer cliff edges around the area of the river and its falls we were in deep shade for a lot of the time at this viewpoint which allowed some of the cool mist to still be present just above the water. It also made light metering for photographs a bit tricky.

Probably more impressive than the waterfalls were the views of the relatively nearby volcano, Osorno, which was to be our next stop. Against the clear blue sky the volcano looked incredibly impressive.

We’d been told by our guide when we left the coach that because of the limited time at the tourist stop we should walk directly to the waterfalls and view of the volcano, then we’d have a better idea for how long it would take us to get back and so we could visit the souvenir shop and take in the landscape without being too rushed. As it was we had plenty of time looking at the Petrohué Waterfalls and Osorno Volcano so could saunter back at some leisure; we didn’t find anything at the souvenir shop here with much of it appearing mass-produced which doesn’t really appeal to us.

We arrived at the highest point that vehicles are permitted to get to where there was a car park, a souvenir shop, a café, and a chairlift station. When the snow is around it serves as a popular station for skiers. We’d been told by our guide that we had enough time so that if anyone wanted to they could buy a chairlift ticket and take that up one section (there were three I think) before coming down. Naturally, we went straight to the ticket hut and I used some horrible Spanish on the guy there to buy what we needed. Also naturally, we were in the minority. On our coach of forty people I would say that perhaps six of us went for the ride while the others headed straight for the café. Bear in mind that our next stop would be for a meal at a restaurant. I will never understand people who pay to head off around the world and pay for an excursion only to skip out on interesting, unique things you can then do there.

It was so quiet. It was incredibly serene being on a chairlift riding up the side of a volcano with nothing but blue sky above able to look down on volcanic rock and even clouds, and with views across to neighbouring volcanoes in the region (one of which – Calbuco – had erupted just the year before).

At the first chairlift stop we got off and had a walk aroud the flattened area of the station to take in the lovely views of Osorno towering above us. We couldn’t see the first station we’d alighted at as it was beyond and below a dip on the volcano’s side. A number of pathways were also visible with people on them; you didn’t have to take the chairlift if you fancied the walk but we didn’t have the time for that and, hell, why would you?

Advice from our guide on this excursion was to slap on the highest strength sunscreen on account of the far thinner atmosphere and subsequently far stronger sunlight reaching us. We duly covered ourselves in Factor 50 but even though the time we spent on the mountainside was under an hour we still managed to get burnt, most notably on my wife’s calves that she’d not completely covered and which were exposed to the sun behind us as we descended back to the base station.

On our return to the base station we still had time to pick up some souvenirs before getting back on the coach. Our guide had also mentioned before we’d arrived that the station did a fantastic local chocolate drink with alcohol in it at the café that had sounded very appealing. Upon asking the passengers if they’d tried it he was met with a chorus of negativity and an announcement from everyone that they’d had coffee. He looked disappointed. We weren’t surprised.

We didn’t get to see the crater at Osorno which was a shame as we’ve still not seen an active volcano with lava but that still leaves something on the bucket list. We did get to ride a chairlift up above the cloud level, though, and that’s not bad. A very enjoyable trip.

We ignored the lure of the German drinking establishments we could see and took a brief look in the local shops but ended up not really finding anything we wanted to buy.

We then headed down to the shoreline and took some photos of the area and across Lake Llanquihué where the volcanoes Osorno and Calbuco could be seen.

We saw quite a few dogs in Puerto Varas. Chile, Uruguay, and Argentina had all had their fair share of dogs on the streets. It must be a very South American thing.

An inquisitive bird among the rocks caught my attention for a while too.

Heading back into the main square of the town close to the time we were due to be picked up by our coach we passed a few statues of local heroes of some sort or another; another common theme in the South American cities we’d visited on the cruise.

We sought out some shade for a while in the main square and bumped into a couple we’d talked to on a few occasions. It was here that they remarked excitedly they had seen me on the TV screens in the main theatre as my dance with a Uruguayan tango dancer had made the cut on the DVD of the cruise. Great.

The brutalist design present in the impressive but abandoned Casa Del Portuale building (architect: Aldo Loris Rossi) was the stand out piece on view…

…unless you count Mount Vesuvius which could be seen from up on deck, of course.

We’d booked an excursion with Princess Cruises for our day in Naples as we like to make sure we’re taken care of and in safe hands for our first time in any new port (we talked to some people at dinner that evening who had headed to Capri on their own but had run into traffic problems on the way back, had to ring the ship to let them know they might be late (but nobody answered the emergency number!), and had their taxi driver weaving in and out of vehicles at over 100 kph to get them back on time).

The main point of our excursion was to visit the nearby excavation of the buried town of Herculaneum (photos and review in the next portfolio post) but as is the way with many cruise ship trips there was an initial stop to allow people to be persuaded to part with more money for things they never thought they wanted. In this case it was a cameo-making workshop which couldn’t have interested us less on paper but was actually quite fascinating to take a look at up close. We got to hear a little bit of history about making cameos and there was no denying the skill involved but the pieces just weren’t to our tastes.

A long, sloping walk initially takes you along one side of Herculaneum, affording views down to the uncovered parts of the town as well as further up to the modern buildings. This gives you a good feel for just how much ash was dumped during the volcano’s eruption, although you get a better understanding when you get into the streets of the town itself, obviously. A bridge over a moat-like structure then takes you into Herculaneum.

During the eruption of Vesuvius Pompeii had been in downwind so most of the initial debris falling from the sky destroyed the town. Herculaneum lay to the west of the volcano so was only initially coated with a little ash and the place was mostly evacuated. Overnight, however, the pyroclastic surges hit the town which had been on the shore; waves of heat killed people who were left instantly while leaving much of the material such as wood, roofs, bedding, etc. intact, albeit buried. So much ash fell on the town (twenty metres as opposed to Pompeii’s four) that the shoreline advanced considerably and the place was all but forgotten to history until the digging of a well in the 18th century led to the beginning of extensive archaeology. Only a fraction of Herculaneum has been uncovered due to the nearby city buildings and the need to preserve what is there.

There were lots of preserved details of tiles, mosaics, wall decorations, etc. Herculaneum was a truly fantastic place with some truly jaw dropping moments as you stood in the streets looking up to where the ash had settled or looking out to where the sea used to be. It’s one of those places where you frequently find yourself realising just how scarily powerful nature can be. You also get a great feel for just how impressive the town would have been to live in.

Although it looks overcast from the photos of Herculaneum it never rained while we visited. The excavation, being within a recess in the ground, acted as a heat trap, though, so the combination of heat and humidity made the visit a little tiring but definitely worth it. Walking around was never a problem, the size of the site was just about right for the time we had there, and it wasn’t packed; we heard a few stories back on the Royal Princess about the excursions to visit Pompeii being more hectic, crowded, and fleeting so if you’re only in the city of Naples for a day and looking to see a site covered by volcanic ash almost two thousand years ago then I’d recommend Herculaneum as probably the better option.

We can’t pretend we’d heard much about the city or its status as capital of the prefecture or its location in the Satsuma province or its role in kickstarting Japan’s industrial revolution prior to our arrival but we would discover all this and much more during the full day’s excursion we had booked with Princess Cruises. That would mostly happen in the late morning and afternoon; first up, though, and the main reason for our selecting this particular excursion, was a visit to the volcano Sakurajima, one of the most active volcanoes in the world with hundreds or thousands of mini-eruptions every year.

We boarded our coach and set off from the port area which looked quite pleasant if a little distant from much of interest if you wanted to walk off on your own. The drive through Kagoshima wasn’t particularly interesting visually or fast. Roads were if not clogged with traffic then at least not that conducive to keeping the vehicles on it moving easily. Still, our guide distracted us from scenes of buildings and traffic jams with a running commentary of the city’s history explaining how it was the home of the Shimazu clan, at one time the richest of the “outsider families” of Japan, helped by the island nature of the territory making it harder for other clans to take it over.

We drove north for a couple of kilometres until we reached the ferry boarding point very close to the Kagoshima Aquarium. We had a short wait as we had arrived just as a ferry was departing but this couldn’t have been longer than ten minutes before another one was in place and our coach could drive onto it.

We were given the option of staying on the coach for the twenty or so minutes it was being ferried across from Kagoshima to Sakurajima or we could wander up to one of the viewing decks. Of course we went to the viewing decks; I think everyone did. While it was a fairly short ride and the weather was bright and sunny and otherwise warm there was quite a bit of wind whipping across the open spaces and as the ferry got past the lighthouse markers on the artificial harbour walls that picked up noticeably and it got a little chilly at times. Should you need their services then the ferry has toilets on it and the sorts of vending machines you see everywhere in Japan.

We were back on the coach shortly before the ferry docked at Sakurajima. Prior to 1914 Sakurajima had been an island and only accessible by boat. In 1914 an eruption filled the bay to the east of the volcano with lava and ash which turned the location into a peninsular with road access but the ferry was still the shortest and quickest route to get from the main city. Our guide informed us that Sakurajima erupted almost constantly, typically puffing up smoke numerous times per day and that the residents had special bags for cleaning up and collecting ash that were taken away and disposed of for free.

Our coach then drove off the ferry and headed towards the Arimura Lava Observatory to the south of the volcano. On the way we passed numerous, wide, deep, concrete channels dug from the various craters and heading down towards the sea in order to offer a way to protect the people who still lived on the peninsular despite the constant ash fall should another big eruption take place.

The Arimurma Lava Observatory was about twenty minutes drive from the ferry dock. It is a free-to-visit lookout open all year around offering views of the volcano from a safe(ish) distance. At the car park area were a number of stalls set up offering souvenirs or local produce and a fairly short, slightly uphill and winding path by the car park entrance circled around to the other side of it: this was the walking and viewing route that included a number of vantage points to observe the volcano to the north, Kagoshima to the west, and the large bay to the south.

The path was an easy walk since it was all laid down with black blocks and steps made from the local lava rock. Along the path at many points were large lava boulders but of course the eye was constantly drawn to the nearby sight of Sakurajima itself and more specifically, Minami-dake, the southern peak (of three) of the volcano that was currently active. During our time at the observatory we saw numerous puffs of steam burping from the top of the volcano.

We learned that the presence of Sakurajima volcano in Kagoshima Bay had an interesting effect on the local fishing because the higher-than-normal water temperatures from the various undersea volcanic vents attracted different sorts of fish than normally found in the colder, surrounding waters. High numbers of amberjack (or yellowtail or hamachi on sushi menus, such as that we’d eaten the day before in the sushi restaurant aboard Diamond Princess (and which had been possibly the nicest of the fish portions if we’re honest)) were farmed in the Kagoshima waters and exported all year round to the rest of Japan.

Despite the large amount of lava rock and ash present the area was very green. Our guide had told us that following eruptions in the twentieth century there had been evacuations from the island but some farmers had taken chances by returning to the large amounts of unclaimed land to see if they could grow anything. Many failures, as you’d imagine, but some successes too, including very large radishes, apparently.

At the northernmost point of the path at the observatory there was a wide open viewing platform area with uninterrupted views in all directions, sheltered seating spots, information boards, and one large piece of lava rock that had become the focus point for some luck-based tradition of leaving coins on it.

The trick to never getting left behind or being so rude as to delay an excursion for other people because you’re late back is to keep an eye on your guide if you can so as soon as we saw her head off towards the car park we followed in her wake, stopping only to leave a temporary impression of our visit in the ash, taking a quick look at one of the many lava shelters we’d seen dotted around the area which are apparently used fairly regularly in eruption evacuation drills, and picking up some local sweets from one of the stalls we’d seen earlier. Picking up weird sweets at the places we visited on this Asian cruise would be a regular occurrence for us.

We reboarded our coach, retraced our route northwards past the volcano, then made our way onto the Sakurajima to Kagoshima ferry and headed back across the water to the city.

This concludes the first part of our Princess Cruises excursion while in Kagoshima. In the second part we get to discover more about the Shimazu clan’s history, visit a formal garden, come face-to-face with Japanese spiders, have lunch, and pay a visit to a shochu distillery.

Shoko Shuseikan Museum

Before we hit the main reason for our visit, the gardens, we took a look around the Shoko Shuseikan Museum. During the 19th century Japan was in a self-imposed seclusion from the outside world. Kagoshima was ruled by the Shimazu clan, the head of which realised that Japan was in serious danger of being completely left behind by foreign nations. Against the orders of the ruling classes a number of Shimazu clan leaders with some western leanings in education and science, including Shimazu Nariakira, set about a process that would eventually kickstart and copy the industrial revolution of Europe and America in Japan. Other notable firsts at this time include the first western-style shipyard and vessels to protect the city and region from expected invasion and the oldest surviving photograph in Japan is a portrait of Nariakira.

Photographs were not permitted inside the museum which included numerous industrial artefacts from the past century and a half, the naval history of the area, and Satsuma Kiriko crystal (more western-style manufacturing techniques were used to create this unique style of glassware). Naturally, this didn’t prevent some people on our trip taking loads of video while pretending they weren’t but that’s because people are scum (which you probably already knew) but as I’m not you’ll have to do with some shots of the exterior, the building housing the museum notable for being the oldest stone factory building in Japan.

Sengan-en Garden

Our look around the museum completed we then walked the short distance to the main attraction, the Sengan-en Garden. Our guide had explained to us that to the Japanese a formal garden incorporated not just what was within what we might consider the grounds of the garden but also all the views from it. This explained the choice of location of the Shimazu clan’s garden with greenery-covered cliffs behind and a wonderful view of Sakurajima volcano in front.

There were a few ways into the gardens with the Red Tin Gate traditionally being used only by the clan lord and heirs.

The house and gardens were built around the middle of the seventeenth century with various clan heads making changes and additions as the years went on including the introduction of bamboo from China in 1736 which later spread throughout the rest of Japan.

Chinese influences also came from the name of the gardens, derived from the birth of Taoism in Long Hu Shan, China, and the Senjingan, carvings in the surrounding cliffs that are unusual for Japanese gardens.

While our guide gave us some more of the history of the gardens, pointing out features like the carvings in the cliff along with general explanations of the Japanese philosophy of gardens in general, we were distracted by the appearance of a woman in a traditional kimono with full make-up, the centre of some photographic attention by people accompanying her as well as by several of us. Indeed, some of our group walked right over to take photos of her close up which she didn’t seem to mind but which felt a little presumptuous to me so I made do from a respectful distance. We were told it was likely she was being photographed for her wedding but we don’t know for certain.

Another distraction in the garden was the abundance of flying things. Specifically, dragonflies and raptors of some description. I’m not a birdwatcher so that’s about as close a description as I can get and the assumption is that their main diet was the dragonflies which were in huge numbers in the air (rather difficult to photograph, I did manage to find a dead one, though). I’d estimate we saw in excess of a hundred dragonflies zipping around the gardens so if you’re a fan of the insect then this is certainly a place to come and see them.

We were then given some free time to walk around the gardens on our own before we were due to meet up for lunch. The Sengan-en gardens cover 12 acres and include a hiking trail taking you up the cliffs if you want. We didn’t have enough time for that particular activity so limited ourselves to the main area, following paths that passed by and over streams and other water features, past interesting rocks and remnants of industrialised additions to the garden area, but mostly just between cool, shady trees glimpsing gorgeous views across Kinko Bay to Sakurajima.

Our walk also introduced us to some other fauna, these being butterflies, lizards, …

…and spiders. Lots and lots and lots of big, yellow spiders. A little bit of detective work identified these spiders in Sengan-en as Nephila clavata, a popular orb spider in the country because of its bright colours. The photos don’t do them justice because I was only prepared to get so close but some of them were about the size of the palm of my hand. And once we actually spotted one we realised they were everywhere. Between every bush, in every tree.

It was the ones in the trees that were most problematic for my wife (who lies definitely more towards the completely arachnophobic end of the Don’t Like to Abject Terror spectrum when it comes to arachnids (I’m more jumpy, wary, but ultimately cautiously fascinated by them)) because the fear that one might drop on her – especially after I spotted one moving about to build its web right above her head – was so much she walked a less interesting path than me to meet up as I clambered over rocks to walk through Kyokusui, a specially-constructed part of the garden designed to host a poetry competition.

Together again we carried on a mostly circular route that brought us to the Oniwa Shrine, apparently the luckiest shrine at Sengan-en, itself composed of thirteen smaller shrines that were brought together in one place in the late-1800s.

Not far from that shrine was another one, this being the Cat Shrine, one of only a few shrines in the whole of Japan dedicated especially to praying for the cute little buggers.

There is a restaurant in Sengan-en garden which was where we headed to next as it was about that time of the day that we were due to have lunch. Upon entry we were offered a choice of beverage: a cola drink or something weird. We chose the something weird. We’d spotted that it said Asahi on it and assumed this meant a nice, cold beer. Well, it was cold but nice and beery… not so much. Was it cold tea? Who knows? The food was a mix of soups, noodles, raw and cooked fish, potato things, herbs for adding flavour, numerous vegetables, and two lumps – one orange, one brown – of something. Everything generated discussions amongst our fellow tourists as to what we were eating with mixed sounds of approval and polite or not-so-polite rejections up and down the table but it was the orange and brown somethings that confused most people. On our table I was the first to try them and would describe them as what you might get if moderately sweet fudge made babies with a pencil eraser. I didn’t mind them and it’s just one of those things that if you’re travelling then you try the local food and drink because otherwise you might just as well have stayed home.

We had a little bit more time after lunch to explore the remainder of the gardens. Towards the garden exit there were a number of souvenir shops and an ice cream stall where we availed ourselves of some odd flavours, only one of which I can remember as that was sake.

Beyond there we came across several examples of the fruit grown locally. Of particular interest were the satsuma oranges, with Kagoshima being in the Satsuma province and this being where the popular fruit originated from.

The final point of interest in Sengan-en Garden prior to us leaving was the site of the Reverbatory Furnace. This was originally a 20-metre high furnace built through a combination of local knowledge and skills, western education and techniques, and diagrams in a Dutch book brought back to the region from overseas. The furnace was used to manufacture armaments to protect Kagoshima from seaborne attacks.

Sake And Shochu Distillery

That concluded our time in Sengan-en so we hopped back on the coach and only had to sit and wait for five minutes for two groups who were late getting back (sigh) before we headed off southwards for our final stop of the day, a sake and shochu distillery and shop which I believe was this one. The distillery was started in 1953 and uses traditional pot-potted and barrel-distilled techniques along with local water and produce for its many products. After a quick look at the pots and barrels we were led into the main shop were numerous free samples of shochu were on offer and that’s definitely an acquired taste based on our own experiences and the grimaces on many faces we looked at.

Shochu and sake and beers were able to be bought but we didn’t fancy any of them. What we did spot, however, was some local gin made with local satsumas. We had to pick that up.

“Ah, you must sign, yes?” said the man behind the counter, bobbing his head in a bow apologetically as I slid my card into the card reader.

I shrugged. “Yeah, that’s fine,” I said.

Suddenly he leaned back, shocked. “Oh, magic number, magic number!” he exclaimed loudly, causing a few heads nearby to turn in puzzlement.

I leant forward and entered my PIN. The look of surprise on his face at what I can only assume is a rarity when a tourist has a Chip and PIN card made my wife and I smile a lot on our way back to the ship.

Departing Kagoshima

For the second time in three days we left a Japanese port as the sun started to dip towards the horizon making for more glorious views. Unlike our departure from Yokohama before there were no crowds to wave us off this time as the location we were berthed at was far enough from the main part of the city to not attract anyone. Instead, as we’d been in one of the lounges having a late-afternoon tipple anyway, we headed out onto the promenade deck at first to look at the passing landscape.

From there we went back to our room in order to get showers out of the way and change for the evening into something a little smarter. The view from our room was lovely but it was, of course, considerably nicer out on the balcony. The peak you can see in the photos is Kaimondake Volcano and we thought it looked spectacularly pyramidal silhouetted against the setting sun.

The short video below (temporarily removed) contains some video from our morning’s visit to Sakurajima as well as footage from Sengan-en and some sunset cruising away from Kagoshima.

Dinner

To round off this lovely day spent in Kagoshima, Japan, a few photos from dinner that evening.

Looking ahead we would have a day at sea before arriving at the next port of Xiamen, China.

San Juan del Sur

We may have been ready in plenty of time and the ship may have been ready in plenty of time but the Nicaraguan authorities had different ideas and after a long wait in the theatre we were finally called to our tender boat over half an hour after our excursion was due to have started. Indeed, by the time we had completed the ride to land and our bus had set off for its tour we were close to an hour behind schedule. This was particularly worrying as, allowing for that delay, our expected time back at port based on the excursion’s duration would be well after the time indicated on the Last Time Aboard signs in position as we disembarked the ship and as we arrived on land. This was mentioned amongst our group with some people wondering if the tour would be cut short but, ultimately, we just had to trust that the operators knew what they were doing and, as this was an excursion arranged by Princess Cruises, we knew they wouldn’t leave us behind.

It’s a shame that we were acutely aware of the time because it would have been nice to just take a few minutes to look around the port area at San Juan del Sur. There was a large, covered space selling typical souvenirs, and dancers, musicians, and children dressed in local costumes were all there to welcome our ship. I can’t say whether there was much else beyond what we saw between the jetty and the bus but the impression was of an attractive bit of coastline, a very friendly place, very happy people, and it’s possible that there are enough things to do in the town if you don’t choose an excursion from the ship.

Drive To Mombacho

It wasn’t the most comfortable of bus rides and it wasn’t a short one. We headed roughly northeast from the coast on the road towards La Virgen on the shore of Lake Nicaragua then turned northwest and followed the main road tracking along the lake and affording us with occasional glimpses of Ometepe, the island in its centre formed from two volcanoes. They were easier to see on the right side of the bus and we were sitting on the left so my views and this short video clip (temporarily removed) are of the Nicaraguan landscape we passed instead. It’s almost cruel of me to have even mentioned it.

The road leading up the volcano was situated at a place called Comarca El Guanacaste and it was here, about one and a half hours after leaving San Juan del Sur, that we got out of our air-conditioned bus and onto a 4-wheel drive truck. Not air-conditioned; not comfy seats; exposed to the elements. The vehicle is mounted up a set of stairs at the back and people filled from the back forwards so that they could a) get off first, b) see more of the ascent, and c) cause as much trouble as possible for those climbing aboard last who needed to squeeze through the narrow aisle to get to the still-unclaimed rickety chairs affixed to the flatbed of the truck near the front. If you’re unlucky enough to get the front row, aisle seats then your view will consist mainly of a tarpaulin cover. Luckily, we were in the second row and I was able to lean out and snap some shots going up the mountain.

The ascent was a slow one and, as you can tell from the short video clip below (temporarily removed), not without a soupçon of noise. The views were pretty impressive, though.

Santa Ana

About two-thirds of the way up Camino al Volcán Mombacho is Santa Ana, a handy rest stop with a café, shop, and toilets. Our vehicle halted here for fifteen minutes to allow people to use the facilities and because there is a one-way system in effect managed over radio to prevent vehicles running into each other. The women’s toilet immediately caused a queue to form because poor toilet design is a worldwide phenomenon but as I was the last of the men to use the room allocated to us I then helped stand guard in shifts with another male passenger to let the women use the cubicles in our restroom. It’s worth noting that at this point we’d been off the ship for around two and half hours and the vehicle would not stop here on the way coming down although there was another toilet at the information centre at the top of the volcano.

Santa Ana was a very pretty little area and probably a very welcome resting point for those people choosing to walk to the top of the volcano ahead of the hike around it. There was an abundance of colourful flowers and I won’t antagonise florists by even considering hazarding a guess at what they were.

Mombacho Volcano Hike

A slightly shorter drive from Santa Ana took us to the information centre and café at the end of the road atop the volcano. We didn’t use the café but we were told that they only accepted local currency at the time of our visit. The very first thing we were shown was a trail guide indicating the paths that could be taken: the Crater Trail and the Puma Trail. The former trail is around 1.5 kilometres long and considered moderately difficult and the latter one is strenuous and approximately 4 kilometres in length; that, along with the time taken to get get to and from the port plus the inherent unfitness of cruise passengers in general (guilty as charged) meant we’d be hiking the Crater Trail for this excursion with an expectation that this would take around one and half hours.

If you’re thinking of taking a hike around Mombacho on your own then you are only allowed to self-guide the easier Crater Trail; you need to pay for a guide if you want to try the other, tougher path. Regardless, upon leaving the information centre you have to take the Crater Trail initially to skirt around the edge of the nearest crater and you can either go clockwise or anticlockwise. There were too many of us to be guided in one pack so one half went on an anticlockwise circuit of the crater with the guide who’d accompanied us on the bus while the other half headed clockwise with a guide who worked for a local company who specialised in looking after the volcano and its tourist operations. We were in the latter group.

Mombacho Volcano is 1344 metres high. With that being the highest point, of course, the initial part of the hike was mostly downhill which was absolutely fine all the while you could forget that this would come at the cost of some future uphill parts to battle.

We would periodically stop so that our guide could explain some of the flora we were encountering: grass that looked like bamboo but which was very flexible – he bent one over to touch the ground to demonstrate – to cope with the occasionally strong winds at altitude; giant leaves that collected water; explanations about the types of orchid that grew on Mombacho; warnings not to touch a rather innocuous-looking bark away from the marked path which we were told caused an acid-like burning sensation if it came in contact with your skin.

The top of Mombacho is a cloud forest, a type of forest that accounts for around one percent of the world’s woodland. As the name implies, cloud forests thrive on their altitude which intersects with the formation of cloud layers. Moisture from clouds and fog condenses on leaves, collects, and drips onto the forest floor leading to wooded areas with higher-than-average amounts of moss and high acidity in the soil which in turn creates often very unique ecosystems. That soil lower down the slopes can provide some interesting growing conditions and Mombacho has coffee plantations situated there. Be aware that the clouds, of course, could be present if you visit which could make any hike a colder and considerably damper one, lacking some of the fantastic views you might otherwise get, although, as you can see from the photos, we had fabulous weather for our hike which was in March, 2019.

At certain points around the hiking trail there were signs in Spanish describing some aspect of the trail; its flora or fauna, for instance. One of these signs was at the entrance to a narrow canyon that had initially been formed by rainwater erosion but which had been widened by inhabitants in the area in order to assist in getting fresh water, something no longer necessary once modern plumbing made an appearance in this part of the world. The canyon was an interesting little side-journey off the main hiking route and gave a partial view towards the interior of the crater that we were circling.

Our hike continued after we’d all returned from the canyon and, while there were short periods where we were climbing, the path we were taking continued to descend overall. We had a few more stops where flora was pointed out and we also got to smell some unroasted coffee beans as we trekked ever clockwise towards what would be the lowest point of the hiking trail.

It was at the low point of the Crater Trail that we caught up with the other half of our hiking excursion group. This was close to the volcano’s fumaroles and it was about two thirds of the way around the crater’s rim from where we started, moving in the direction we’d taken. There were two points of interest at this meeting point of the groups so we took it in turns with our half of the tour looking at the fumaroles first while the other group headed to the viewing platform looking out to the Granada Islets, then vice versa.

Fumaroles are holes near volcanic craters where gases vent. It was certainly possible to smell the sulfur from the fumarole but it was only just about possible to see one and taking a photo proved impossible as it required leaning out and looking down a crag in the mountainside. More interesting was a fumarole that wasn’t venting but into which we could put an arm – if you’ve ever seen Peter Duncan’s test of manhood in the movie Flash Gordon then, yes, almost exactly like that – and feel the sudden, almost heavy heat from deep underground encasing it. It was a strange and fabulous experience.

The viewpoint was the farthest distance from our starting point and allowed us to see directly ahead of us towards the freshwater Lake Nicaragua, the city of Granada (where we would be heading after our volcano hike), and the archipelago of 365 islets formed during an eruption of Mombacho in the distant past. Some of the islets are inhabited and our tour guide in the bus had mentioned that he had older family members who lived there and who remembered in their youth when the freshwater sharks that the lake is famous for were so large in volume all you could see were fins moving between the lumps of land. This contrasted to modern times when local Nicaraguans, many of whom cannot swim and so keep away from the sea, still nevertheless come to the lake to paddle or learn to swim, fear of shark attacks being low due to the rarity of even seeing one of the creatures.

Turning leftwards and towards the northeast it was even possible to see the smoking crater from another one of Nicaragua’s volcanoes, Masaya.

All that remained to do was to complete the circuit of the Crater Trail and get back to the information centre at the top of Mombacho. Now, maths comes into play here. We’d effectively covered twice the distance of the other group to reach this point but we’d both dropped the same altitude. This meant, of course, that on our part of the hike we had descended at half the rate of them but, conversely, it meant that the remaining part of the trail to hike – you know, the upwards bit of it – would be twice as steep for us as it would be for them. In the first of the photos below you should be able to make out the pylon atop the volcano on the right side; that’s the information centre that we needed to get back to.

This was the only excruciating part of the hike around Mombacho. We are not a fit couple and probably shouldn’t be picking the excursions with warning signs on them when we’re booking cruises but we’re also contrary gits so whenever we even think the words “probably shouldn’t” regarding an activity then there’s a part of our brains that will already be drawing up plans to do just that thing. For a fit person this part of the hike is quite likely a nice workout. For a regular hiker this may well be just a warm-up exercise. To be fair, if it was just the pair of us taking it at our own pace then we’d probably have had no trouble either but our pace turned out to be a lot slower than everyone else’s and, not wanting to slow everyone down, we matched what the rest of our hiking group was doing. And almost died. An exaggeration for me but perhaps not so much for my wife who has trouble regulating her body temperature in normal circumstances and whose face was the colour of a ripe tomato with third-degree burns as viewed under a red spotlight. She was physically unable to speak and experience has taught me not to attempt communication in these situations for my own safety and to simply do what I can to cool her down during the brief halts we had.

Because we’d made painfully, painfully good time returning to the summit of the volcano we had time to wait before the other half of our group caught up with us on their more gentle ascent. This, at least, gave us both the chance to reach a more normal temperature and skin colour before we headed back down in the back of the four-wheel drive once more.

Despite the high exertion towards the end of the hiking trail this was a fantastic trip to do during our stop in Nicaragua and we don’t regret it one bit. Highly recommended if you like to hike or just want to say you’ve walked around a volcanic crater or you’ve got a soft spot for forests. Should you be thinking of taking a hike around Mombacho Volcano, my advice, you won’t be surprised to learn, is to do so in an anti-clockwise direction from the information centre.

Descending Mombacho

With our excursion group whole again and everyone who’d needed to use the toilets having done so (we’d pretty much just sweated out all the water we’d carried with us) it was time to head back down the mountain. We passed back through Santa Ana without stopping and passed several pairs of hikers walking up, about to start their own trek around the trails.

It was interesting to see the vegetation change as our altitude dropped, something I’d not noticed on the way up. The verdant colours of the cloud forest level soon gave way to a more heat-scorched environment, although one reasonably well-occupied.

We finally made it out onto the main road where we were let out of our truck and gave silent prayers of thanks to the God of Air-Conditioned Vehicles once more. The next stop on our day’s excursion out from San Juan del Sur would be to the city of Granada for a look around at its historic centre and a spot of lunch, and that will be covered in the next post in this cruise diary travel portfolio.

Deluxe Balcony Cabin 7072

First stop was to our cabin. We’d booked a Deluxe Balcony grade of cabin but hadn’t selected a specific room as there was an additional charge to do so and with this being our first cruise with Marella we didn’t have anything against which to decide where the best room might be.

I’m going to interrupt my own account of our first day aboard Discovery now with a quick aside to mention some of the booking differences between what we’re more used to with Princess and P&O, and what the TUI/Marella experience is like. With Princess, from our third cruise onwards when we finally found our feet with this whole cruising thing, we’ve always selected the room we want to be in. During the booking process you’re simply asked whether you’d like to pick a room or not and we choose to. We also never opt for an upgrade because you’re really gambling with other people’s ideas of “better” if you do that. With P&O they offer two price points for booking, those being the Select price where you choose your room and get a few perks or the Saver price where you’re allocated a room based on what’s available. We always choose Select. A Marella cruise booking is a little like defaulting you into the Saver option offered by P&O. Generally, everyone pays the same price for the type of room they’re in but if you want to throw some more cash their way then they’ll let you have first pick of the rooms rather than wait for the allocation system to slot you in somewhere. Now that we’ve completed a cruise with Marella we might well do that next time but we had no problems with the room we ended up with.

Deluxe Balcony Cabin 7072 is roughly at midship on the port side of the vessel. Our preference when cruising is forward and starboard but this turned out to be a decent location as it was close to the elevators and staircases which meant getting from our room to the buffet area for breakfast took around 30 seconds. If eating is important to you then you could do a lot worse than pick this room or ones in the vicinity.

The room was close in layout to a Princess mini-suite in that it had a seating area (which didn’t get a lot of use from us to be honest) but was otherwise mostly what we’ve come to expect from cabins on ships. I didn’t take very many photos because you can find plenty of them online and who am I to deprive those people of potential web traffic!? The only things I’d note about this room are:

• The wardrobe doors will kill you if they get a chance. The bi-fold arrangement caught our fingers half a dozen times and fellow cruise bloggers who you’ll be hearing about quite a lot during this Journey to Jordan travelogue set, Paul and Carole, have an even more brutal tale of assault from this piece of furniture that they might be willing to share.
• If you’re a fan of sitting on the toilet and staring at the toilet roll just out of reach then you are in for a treat on Marella Discovery. I can picture the person in charge of designing the cabin turning to her colleague and saying “So, how long are your arms? Okay, thanks. I’ll just add on another thirty centimetres then.”
• Showering was a two-person job half the time. No, not for the sexy reasons you’re thinking of. One person needed to be on guard to stop the bathroom from flooding which it did no matter how careful the person under the water was trying to be. I’d like to think that our steward was used to always picking up one absolutely drenched-through towel every evening because it was a known problem and didn’t think we were the sort of weirdos who wrapped ourselves in one when washing but we’ll never know for sure.

For the record, we’re a completely different sort of weirdos.

We’d been to the port of Naples once before, that being a stop during our Royal Princess cruise back in 2016 (there are a couple of posts here: Royal Princess – Italy) and so I’d been excited to see the Casa Del Portuale building again that I knew to be there. However, it transpired that on that previous cruise we’d been docked in the more industrial area of the port whereas Marella Discovery was alongside at the dedicated cruise terminal some way from it. On the one hand a shame because it’s a gorgeous piece of brutal architecture but on the other hand a better chance to appreciate Naples as being a little more attractive than it had seemed on that first visit. The views were more varied and I was very pleased to be able to see Mount Vesuvius from our balcony with other points of interest being a San Giorgio-class amphibious transport dock ship, San Giusto, and a horse’s arse.

Marella Discovery Atrium

To the hub of the cruise ship next, the atrium. This was a very bright, very open area, with plenty of natural light coming down and from alongside. We haven’t cruised with Royal Caribbean before (their family-friendly reputation is us-hostile so they’ve never been in the reckoning, although we have spotted some Asian itineraries they do that have started to worm their way into our travel-planning thoughts) but if you have then the Discovery will be pretty familiar to you as the ship is a Vision-class vessel and formerly the Splendour of the Seas. We were very impressed by the atrium area although as the cruise went on we started to find some issues with a lack of seating space in the evening and the final set of steps leading down to the ground floor were so smooth and reflective it felt like we were risking life and limb every time we descended them.

It was around the atrium that we upgraded to the Premium Drinks Package and that’s worth mentioning. If you cruise with Marella then the basic drinks plus gratuities are included in the price. That’s already a great deal because unlike certain other lines I could mention with a basic drinks package (cough, Celebrity, cough!) the basic drinks package for Marella covers a huge range of what’s available on board and what most normal people would like to actually drink. Premium drinks can be bought but there’s a small surcharge (very small) unless you want to upgrade the package. And here’s where Marella excels again: it’s £50 per person per week. That’s a tiny fraction over £7 a day to be able to drink anything, including the speciality coffees. For us this was an easy decision to make when you compare similar pricing on other lines. A feature of drinking to be aware of is that the drinks package only applies between 10:00 and 02:00 for some unfathomable reason. If you want a drink outside those times then you will pay extra.

Anyway, drinks package upgraded we promptly went and ordered some Bellinis and were charged for them because the upgrade hadn’t gone through the computer system quickly enough. Our waitress apologised and let us know we could talk to reception and get the charge removed but we couldn’t be bothered. We’re not the sort to quibble over a few quid here and there. We’re the sort who then get another drink immediately afterwards. Oh, and we loved the slanted glasses.

The Shops And The Pub

It doesn’t feel right to turn to your other half and say “Let’s go check out the shops and the pub” when you’re on a cruise ship but that’s what happened next. Of course, it was still early so the pub bar hadn’t opened and as you possibly already know, no shops open while a ship is in port because all the staff are ashore laughing maniacally at the low prices on land so this wander through these two areas of the ship was rather perfunctory.

The boutique shops were exactly what you’d expect to find on a cruise ship: some cruise line souvenirs, basic clothing, snacks, perfumes, designer bags, that sort of thing.

The Squid and Anchor pub was not exactly what you’d call a traditional-looking pub considering this was a British cruise line. Its name was arguably quite misleading in that it was more a general entertainments lounge than anything else. I think for the name I’d have liked some more features in line with a pub and perhaps more than just the squid and anchor motif on chairs and menus to bring that theme in more. However, it was a mostly fine venue with the only thing to consider if attending something where the screen at the front is in use being that some seats had very obstructed views thanks to the pillars.

Marella Discovery Speciality Dining Restaurants

Our initial exploration of Marella Discovery next brought us to the very top of the ship, deck eleven directly over the atrium. This was the location of Bar Eleven, the ship’s late night drinking and dancing venue and somewhere we knew we’d end up most if not all nights on this cruise. That’s the kind of people we are.

Just off from Bar Eleven were the two speciality dining restaurants Surf and Turf (no prizes for guessing what sort of food that specialises in) and Kora La (a general Asian restaurant). Prior to embarking on this cruise we’d decided we would be trying all the dining options anyway but it was good to see how the rooms were set up just to be certain. They both met with our approval, especially the views afforded by Kora La, so the next time we passed the self-assistance machines off the atrium we used our cruise card and booked dinner in each of them for the following two nights.

Miniature Golf, Rock Climbing, And Swimming Pools

Out onto the top deck of Marella Discovery next, the location of most of the photos you’ll see from cruise ships because this is where all the daytime fun happens. We’re not fun people – we’ve been called intimidating and irritating in roughly equal measures but fun doesn’t factor into most people’s reckoning – but we don’t begrudge others having some of it on occasion.

Heading aft brought us some more pleasing views of Naples, including those from the ship’s port side where coast guard and naval vessels were tied up. This was late afternoon, on the cusp of evening starting, and the sun was sinking in the early November sky bringing a cool dusk with it. The back of the ship on the top deck is where you’ll find a couple of the sporting activities you can enjoy. A miniature golf course decorated with boulders is the first thing you’ll come across. Behind that is the rock climbing wall, an activity I’d never tried before but which I told my wife prior to the cruise I was going to have a go at while at sea because it felt like the sort of random experience to boast about that we quite enjoy. Sadly, I didn’t make it mostly thanks to forgetfulness on my part but also partly because the time when you can climb is limited by appropriate staff being around, and on the one day when I did remember and when there were staff around I was so hot from just standing by the wall in direct sunlight that the thought of strapping myself into a harness and suffering the exertion of climbing as well just sweated itself out of my body.

I must confess to really liking the TUI logo on the ship’s funnel and also liking the way it was lit up. Incidentally, if you’re wondering about whether the ship is a TUI ship or a Thomson ship or a Marella ship then let me try to explain. TUI are the parent group who operate German and English hotels, flight operations, and cruise lines. Thomson were part of it but were rebranded to be TUI UK. The English cruise line was then rebranded as Marella while the German line are still technically TUI Cruises but everyone knows them as the Mein Schiff ships because they’re all called that with numbering after them (e.g. Mein Schiff 1, Mein Schiff 2, etc.), the reason for that being that German names for beautiful concepts such as discovery and exploration and jewels and glamour all run to around one hundred and twenty letters in length, are unpronounceable, and cost a fortune to paint onto hulls.

The main swimming pool area was just forward of midships on Discovery’s top deck and it looked incredibly pretty and felt very serene in the cool and quiet of the darkening evening. This would contrast markedly with a typical sea day on the ship when the entire area more closely resembled one of those Where’s Wally? drawings with barely a metre of deck space able to be seen amongst the throng of recliners and bodies rammed around the water’s edge.

Continuing our tour of the top deck we reached the front which held a small, slightly sheltered spot for lounging in the sun with a maritime/navigational sculpture and a great view ahead of the ship. In Naples this meant gazing across the water to Vesuvius once more. I do like a volcano.

Marella Discovery has an indoor swimming pool as well, located in a spot named The Glass House. Not to be confused with the place with the same name on P&O ships, this was a very nice spot too which, with hindsight, we should have taken more advantage of. I guess there will have to be a next time to address this shortcoming. What suffering. Oh no. How will we cope. Et. Cetera.

Food And Drink On Marella Discovery

Sailaway wouldn’t be until 23:00, the muster drill would be a little before that, and it had been a long day for us with not much to eat at this point so we decided on an earlyish dinner with the chance to try a few drinks after that in the lounges and bars that would be open by this point. Or even before that. We grabbed a pre-dinner drink in the atrium because, well, because we could.

After comparing menus of the two sections of the main dining room we selected the Italian option of Gallery 47 and the food would be good enough and more to our liking than that in the main section throughout this cruise.

Antipasti and bread was followed by our starter choices of Bruschetta for me and Calamari for my wife, fairly standard options for us in Italian restaurants in general. Our meal was accompanied by more glasses of red wine than I can remember, a benefit of those all inclusive drinks packages.

Saltimbocca Alla Romana for me and the unfortunately-named Stinco Di Maiale for my wife made up our main courses.

I finished with A Trio Of Tiramisu while Lemon Meringue Tart was the dessert across the table from me, and we both washed it down with a whiskey.

Waiter service during dinner was fantastic but let’s be clear: the food wasn’t spectacular. Then again, we weren’t expecting spectacular. The food was very good, though, and if you’ve nothing super-fancy to compare it to then you won’t be disappointed. We did have fancy things to compare it to and we still weren’t disappointed because we knew what sort of cruise line Marella were and where their budget sat in what they would provide. We were very satisfied throughout the cruise.

There was still quite some time at the conclusion of our meal before we’d need to gather for the muster and the pub was open at this point so deciding what to do next was fairly easy. Also, the drinks volume was mounting up by this point and you don’t want to stop when that happens or you’ll get a headache. We were only thinking of our health and not wanting to colour our perception of time aboard Discovery with pain. So, to the Squid and Anchor once again it was!

The drinks menu shows you just what’s included with the drinks package aboard Marella Discovery as well as the supplement you’d need to pay if you don’t upgrade your package. If you think you’d spend more than £7 a day then upgrade. I think it would be fair to say that we got our money’s worth on this cruise.

The muster drill took place on the promenade deck of the ship. I’m not sure quite how much of it people were paying attention to on the back of most of the day drinking (because we weren’t the only ones, that’s for certain) and I wouldn’t want to do it in driving wind and rain but it was quite pleasant in the Italian night air and thankfully short.

As Marella Discovery left Naples we made our way to Bar Eleven. You can order from a standard shipwide menu or one specifically for the venue with the special menu including some premium infusion and smokey cocktails. Both sorts of drinks menus are below.

Being the children that we are we had to try some of the special cocktails. The theatre with the presentation and pouring of the drinks is worth the cost alone.

We had a few more drinks, we listened to the music, we might even have danced at one point. Only one thing is very clear and that’s that we both felt horribly and wonderfully hungover when we woke up the following morning. Even had we been stone cold sober we both agree that there was nothing but very good first impressions of the ship and especially its staff and crew.

In the next post in this Marella Discovery travelogue series we’ll see some more of the ship, see what the first of many sea days is like, touch things from outer space (ooh!), and have our first close encounter with some fellow bloggers.

The first of the Canary Islands we approached will come as no surprise to you because the likelihood of you landing on this paragraph of text without knowing the title of this page is so ridiculously small I’m just not going to entertain the possibility. We opened the curtains to our cabin to see we were on the final approach to Santa Cruz de Tenerife, the capital of the island of Tenerife. Directly across from us on the sail into the port we could see a couple of AIDA cruise ships seemingly at anchor just off the coast and assumed that we might be joining them with potentially tender boat operations to follow but it was to the main cruise terminal we headed instead.

We will often take excursions when we travel, and especially on the first visit to any destination, because we like to get to know a place before wondering if there are things we’d prefer to see on our own, and thus it was at Tenerife too. In fact, we’d seen an excursion we really liked the look of because it would include two of our favourite things: an observatory and a volcano. We’d previously visited an observatory in Chile – the Cerro Tololo Inter-American Observatory in Coquimbo – and we love spotting volcanoes when we travel. The trip to the Teide Observatory would be right up our street…

… only the Cumbre Vieja volcanic ridge was erupting on the island of La Palma during our visit and scientists wanted to monitor it using the solar telescopes we had been due to visit. Shakes fists at scientists.

The result of all this was that our excursion was changed. No more observatory, and instead a more general visit to Teide National Park. Oh well.

After a reasonable drive up winding roads climbing up hills, and with a running commentary on the island’s geology and history we stopped at an observation point that not only afforded some views across to the volcano that gives this national park its name, but also the observatory that we should have been visiting – thanks for that – and exposed geological formations showing how layers of different minerals were laid down over time and then pushed up by tectonic shifts and volcanic eruptions on the island.

Ah, what could have been.

Our viewpoint was to the east of Teide. In addition to being a volcano, Teide is both the highest point in Spain and the highest point of any island in the Atlantic. If you look at the photo below then you should be able to make out cable car pylons along the left edge so it is possible to ride to close to the summit, and if you’re keen on walking then a limited number of permits to walk to the top of Teide – at 3715 metres above sea level – are issued each day. Cruise excursions did include the option of taking the cable car up the volcano but you would have needed to have booked those fairly early as they’re popular, and if you’ve had the misfortune to have your actual excursion cancelled at the last minute and swapped for something else like a certain person writing this sentence you might be loosely acquainted with, then you’re shit out of luck. We weren’t that bitter though, as we’ve ridden a chairlift up a volcano before, don’t you know? Yeah, we’re a bit fancy.

The next stop on our drive through Teide National Park was at Portillo Alto. This small hamlet mostly consisted of a restaurant, some government-run lodgings, a small shop, and some parking spots. The primary reason for stopping, though, was because it had public toilets. We do understand that as people get older they can’t go quite as long without needing a pee, but it still puzzles us when we see some make a rush for the toilets during an excursion stop, then immediately grab themselves a coffee afterwards. Do you people have no comprehension of biology and chemistry at all? As for us, we simply stretched our legs and admired a little of the Tenerife landscape until our group started to climb back aboard the bus.

Continuing with the theme of Not Quite What Was Intended that formed this cruise excursion on Tenerife, our next stop was supposed to be to La Ruleta Vista Point. In fact, we did drive there, but the area consists of a road with a roundabout at the end of it for turning, and with parking all along the road for buses, cars being expected to go elsewhere. Well, they may have been expected to go elsewhere but they didn’t, which meant the road was a chaotic mess of cars blocking the buses, buses queueing and struggling to turn around, and us being sat on the bus for over ten minutes before the guide decided we’d try what should have been the last stop first then come back to this spot.

Off we set for Zapato de La Reina, also known as The Queen’s Shoe. You can immediately see why from the photos below as the erosion of this particular rock formation has left a natural arch resembling a high-heeled piece of footwear. If you’ve ever fantasised about being a tiny human trapped on a planet full of giant women – and statistically-speaking, around fifty percent of the sorts of people who read this will have – then this is the place to visit.

Ten minutes of admiring the landscape – and it is surprising just how attractive mostly dry and rocky, undulating hills dotted with tough-looking bushes and grasses is – followed by another ten minutes of our bus trying to reverse out of the car park because some car had thoughtlessly parked where it fancied instead of where it should have been – again; I’m sensing a theme here – which then caused tailbacks along the road by the viewpoint.

Seriously, people, tourists hiring cars, whatever: just, please, have just the slightest bit of consideration for others when you’re travelling, and especially if you’re travelling to somewhere popular. If it’s a spot you’re not supposed to park in then here’s a crazy idea: don’t park in that spot. There’s probably a reason for it even if you’re too lacking in imagination to think what that might be. I know nobody who’s actually the sort of complete arsehole who thinks rules apply to other people and God forbid that you should have to walk a little further or maybe wait a little longer for something! will ever read this, and I know I’m just shouting into the void here, but there’s a therapy in that action. I’m trying to reduce the blood pressure that’s been raised just recalling how infuriating it was on this trip to lose a solid 20-30 minutes of our paid excursion because of other people’s selfishness. Some people don’t have websites like this and they can’t vent in the same way I am. Those people might die. Every time you park like a prick you might kill someone. Murderer.

Anyhoo…

Back to La Ruleta Vista Point we went, and after what looked like another fruitless attempt to find a space, but seemingly with the approval of a person wearing a police uniform or other uniform indicating officialdom in some capacity at the location, our bus driver said “Fuck it! Everyone off, and I’ll wait here in the middle of the road!” He said that silently, in his head, and in Spanish, which I don’t speak, but sometimes you just know from the slump of a pair of shoulders and the smallest shake of a head.

La Ruleta is situated almost directly due south of Mount Teide on Tenerife and so it provides good views of the volcano if that’s what you’re looking for. But the real reason that this area of the relatively flat basin beneath Teide is so popular with tourists is not so much the mountain, but rather the rock formations. These are the Roques de García.

Rocks in distinctive shapes acquire names over time, and the rocks in this part of the national park were no exception. People with cameras and with tinnitus who are easily distracted tend to not pay a lot of attention to what’s being said by guides about those rocks and names, and this was also an occasion where no exception was to be found. I have a vague recollection of having one of the rocks pointed out and a name attached to it along with a description like “And these are the two mythical lovers who are holding one another and gazing into each other’s eyes” and thinking “Ha! Yeah, no, it’s just a pointy stone but I can see that intense dehydration out here might affect a person.”

In the photos below you can see some of the flat landscape between Teide (which would be to the right of these pictures) and Pico Viejo, another high peak and part of the chain of mountains visible. This is the Las Cañadas caldera and the different colouration of the ground you can see illustrates the split in the caldera caused by tectonic and volcanic activity of the two mountains either side of it. It’s this which also led to the formation of the rocks.

In a shocking example of me having a bit of a search online I have found the names of two of the rock formations in Roques de García that I managed to take photos of during our Teide National Park tour. In the foreground below you can see El Torrotito which Google helpfully translates as “el torrotito” so many thanks for that, giant technological behemoth. The rock behind it with the narrow base supporting the bulk above is called Roque Cinchado or “Stone Tree” and it’s considered a symbol of Tenerife, having previously appeared on banknotes.

We’ve never been to the Vasquez rocks in southern California, but based on its many appearances in TV, and most notably Star Trek as far as I’m concerned, the rock formations at La Ruleta felt a lot like a European version of them. I could easily see a Spanish Captain Kirk fighting a Spanish Gorn amongst the arid, appealing, attractive landscape. Perhaps over the Gorn’s terrible car parking that had forced the Enterprise to circle around for a while looking for a spot to stop.

Our Teide National Park excursion on Tenerife came to an end and we headed back across the island towards the port and our waiting cruise ship, with just one more stop at Portillo Alto for those whose coffees they’d had last time at the hamlet had now worked their way through their systems and who were in desperate need to relieve themselves.

So, what did we think about this excursion? We got to see impressive landscapes and a volcano from a distance. And we like those things. We also got to see some lovely rock formations in a caldera. And it turned out that we like that too. The biggest disappointment would be that we didn’t visit the observatory, of course, but that’s not in the hands of the tour organisers or the cruise line so I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it at all. There was a fair bit of driving but we knew this anyway. It’s the small price you have to pay to get to see some interesting things sometimes, and the commentary on the bus took us through a range of topics relating to the island including its economy, some weird Scottish immigrants connection, and numerous other things, so it was educational and enjoyable. Issues with “other people” and their parking is again not the fault of the tour guide or driver, but it felt like it was something that was to some extent predictable given just how horrible and selfish people generally are so it would’ve been nice for a quicker alternative plan to have been enacted in order to give us extra time at the photo stops. But then again, all the plans in the world can’t account for people being dicks.

In the next part of this Ventura travelogue series we’ll be back aboard the ship for the late afternoon and early evening ahead of our sail away to the second of the Canary Islands on this cruise.