The statue in the photos below is called Yomper. It is a representation of Corporal Robinson of 45 Commando on his approach to Port Stanley in the Falkland Islands, and it commemorates the Falklands War. You may already be aware that we’ve visited the Falklands and looked around the battlefields and the town of Stanley, and you can read all about that experience here: Falkland Islands and Battlefields Tour.

The statue was unveiled by Margaret Thatcher (boo, hiss) in 1992, and the inscription on the plaque reads:

Yomper

This statue was unveiled by Baroness Thatcher of Kesteven OM PC FRS on 8 July 1992 to commemorate all the Royal Marines and those who served with them in the South Atlantic during the Falklands War of 1982.

I’d like to tell you for certain what the pole with the cross on it is for in the photos below but I honestly am not sure. Three possibilities spring to mind: it could be a warning that you’re about to enter a restricted area (more on that further down); it could be a warning that there’s a secret tunnel built into the concrete base so mind your step if the sea’s come in (I’m just saying); it could be a warning that there might be naked people around (it’s true; this part of the seafront at Eastney is a known nudist beach area, although I’ve never seen any there on my admittedly limited number of visits, and fair play to anyone wanting to risk their naughty bits on the pebbles, sharp plastic, bits of glass, and other rubbish around).

The iconic buildings below may not be around when you visit Eastney Seafront as their fate has been in the balance for many years and the plan is to turn this area into residential housing. You’re shocked, I can tell.

This is Fraser Range, formerly a gunnery range and a test and research centre for the Ministry of Defence. Cold War use as a training centre for the Royal Navy gave way to radar research but the building eventually fell into disrepair, became the location for plenty of urban exploration (and all the usual sorts of drinking, drug use, etc. that these abandoned buildings become the hub for, no doubt, too), and was finally sold to developers. Proposals for the site seem to be fairly considerate and can be viewed here – Fraser Range Proposals – but I suspect the location with sea views and easy access to the beach along with the historic interest of the site (not to mention sci-fi interest as it was used as a filming location for the Doctor Who story The Sea Devils) will push even the smallest accommodation out of range (no pun intended) of the average buyer.

With this previously being military land it’s quite easy to conclude that the concrete blocks along this stretch of Eastney beach are to prevent amphibious landing craft from easy access to the buildings, but the later use as a research centre for the secretive M.o.D. does not preclude that these are weapons; eggs of some sort; ready to hatch stone soldiers. Don’t just dismiss that theory because it sounds like the sort of thing a lunatic would say.

Eastney is not the loveliest beach in the world. It doesn’t even compare well to Southsea beach to its west and that’s a pretty naff example of shoreline in itself. However, its secluded location away from much of any interest in Portsmouth does give it a quieter appeal that might attract some people. You’ll still have views to the Isle of Wight and access to the frigid south coast waters across a foot-shredding stretch of pebbles, but without quite the risk of crowds that the summer might bring. For naturists there’s a spot where you can risk a sunburn on your nethers, and for perverts there’s the same spot where you can catch furtive glimpses at dangly bits reddening and crisping before your eyes.