Morons On Facebook

26 Nov 2007 11:32 by Mark

Despite initially appearing to be MySpace With Some Standards, one of the sad facts of Facebook - and probably all social websites - is that there still isn't an I.Q. test that requires passing before someone is allowed to join. Over time this sort of failure leads to a dilution in the quality of any social site. Then again, it can provide unexpected entertainment.

From the If Muslims Dont (sic) Like It Here Send Them Packing group (Link):

You know you're in for a good time when you read a description that states:

Most of britian dont understand,What an effect muslims are having on our society,They are trying to change the way we have lived for many years and are slowly succeeding in some areas.

When it comes to "dont understand"-ing, I might just be with "(m)ost of britian", whatever britian happens to be. With the commas and the capitalisation this description reads more like a poem. I'm not a fan of poetry but I think I get this one: apparently these "muslims" are trying to change the way "we" have lived "for many years" - possibly from as far back as the late 1990s - and the fiends are "slowly succeeding" in "some" areas.

I hope one of the areas is in the teaching of English grammar but I suspect I may be the victim of wishful thinking here.

The officers and admins of this particular group are the charmingly-named Sunny Bennett, the chavvily-sounding Wayne Duffield, and the Welshily-monickered Owen Lloyd Bennett.

Things have got so bad in "britian" - what with all those sneaky muslims and their sneakiness - that three Welsh people have been stirred into action. Damn you muslims! Damn you all to heck! Don't you know the Welsh are our last line of defence against anti-britianish invaders!

But I know what you're thinking: are there any sadly amusing comments from substandard excuses for humans pitied even by the lobotomised hordes in that Facebook group for people with a fear of things of which they haven't got a clue?

Why, yes! Yes there are!

Jacob Johnson (nice Jewish name there, Jacob!) writes ...

there all a bunch of packis nd should be sent home fucking smelling arre country up of curry send the packis home simple as that not fucking hard is it

Oh, Jacob, bless your illiterate, racist, black heart! Sadly, Jacob's argument that the entire country smells of curry should not be taken seriously as Jacob lives above an Indian restaurant and doesn't get out much. Jacob doesn't tell us where this particular restaurant is or where he comes from in his Facebook profile but when you spell "our" as "arre" I think we can be pretty certain it's somewhere in Somerset. Or Pirateland. If the latter then it's probably The Taj Mayaaar!l in the High Street.

Sexy, sultry, sadly-deficient-to-the-tune-of-one-brain civil servant Kate Thornton lends her support to the group and simultaneously demonstrates why the civil service in the UK is being run so badly with:

Ok... i do believe that if people come to the UK.. they should live under the british ways. I dont want to force people out who are already here, i just dont want anoy moe people from other countries coming to live in england. They really do need to sort out the immigration rules.

For one, people should be able to fucking speak ENGLISH when they come here. I hate it hearing people who cant speak a word of english, i want to punch them.
YOU ARE LIVING HEAR, LEARN AND SPEAK THE LANGUAGE. Grrrr.

I do not want the multi million pound mosque being built. whos crazy idea was that. BIGGER THAN OUR LARGEST RELIGIOUS PLACE OF WORSHIP... that would be just stupid.

BE BRITISH if you are going to be here

If you're one of the "anoy moe" people thinking about coming to live in England and you're not prepared to meet Kate's high standards of:

• learning and speaking the English language as well as - but not better than - Kate herself,
• and constructing miniature places of worship, preferably in the shadow of Jesus on the cross so you'll know your place at all times

then think again!

Finally, there's Mark Ashwin. Mark really wants a dictionary for Christmas. Santa, if you're listening and if the muslims haven't persuaded you to convert to muslimanity, then won't you bring Mark a dictionary this year? He's been a good boy.

here the way that i see it.... most of the public
have nothing against immigration and integration but that's not happening and we are starting to get a secular country and when that happens what do you get .... civil unrest and upset in the end infighting between the different groups this when you end up with a country at war with its self. which in the end is the middle east !!!!!! and if i wanted to live like that i would get on a plane and fly to Iran or Iraq.

Not a secular country! A curse on those muslims for converting us to a secular country! Anything but a secular country! Secular countries and civil unrest walk hand-in-hand like sword-wielding blancmange and trees! Trees, people! Oh, why did it have to be a secular country! If only it could have been something other than a secular country! And a secular country just like the Middle East! Nooooo!!!!!!! Why God!?! Why!?! Why did it have to be a secular country like the Middle East? Any other secular country would have been tolerable, but not that Middle East country! Noooooo!!!! Sweet, patient, muslim-hating baby Jesus, please don't make Mark Ashwin fly to Iran or Iraq just because immigrants are bringing their secular ways into this country and tainting it! Die secularists! Die!!!!!!