Gordon Brown Dream Analysis

12 Jun 2008 14:00 by Mark

He terrorises your waking life and now he's in your dreams. Yes, I'm talking about Gordon Brown, short-term (Cthulhu willing) Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. But if you've been plagued by dreams of the man himself and tried to find out just what they mean then you've been right out of luck.

Until now!

Don't go to the library and hope to find dream analysis books that explain the hidden meaning behind finding Gordon Brown inside your sleeping head. You won't find any author crazy enough to analyse the unmitigated horror of dreaming about the Scottish tyrant or any publisher daring enough to risk 42 days internment for inciting fear.

But you'll always have me!


Dream Element
Gordon Brown Pulling A Black Mamba From His Mouth

Analysis
To a Freudian specialist a snake emerging from a dark hole represents something fundamentally sexual, however even those particular sex-obsessed psychiatrists would admit the presence of Gordon Brown trumps any naughty undertones. The snake is venomous and the mouth usually issues forth words or halitosis or phlegm or phlegmy halitosis. In the dream Gordon is taking out his serpent and showing it to the world and this may be what you have to do too in real life; don't bottle up your emotions or keep back your feelings otherwise Gordon will reappear and whip out a larger snake next time. Maybe an anaconda.

Dream Element
Gordon Brown Exercising On A Fiery Podium

Analysis
The chest expander is the most masculine manipulator of muscle manufactured by man ... mever! Therefore, its inclusion in your dream represents manly traits: inconsideration, under-the-duvet farting, hiding stashes of porn, peeing on the floor, and taking nine weeks to complete a ten minute DIY job. Gordon Brown in this instance is a wannabe leader and he represents your subconscious instructing you through the power of leadershipiness to be more like a man and less the dreamy wimp you clearly are. The fire is because an electrical fault has set your curtains alight although by the time you read this analysis in the hospital burns ward you're probably well aware that has occurred.

Dream Element
Gordon Brown's Head Speeding Through A Field Of Wheat

Analysis
Nothing says England quite like the open green fields of the countryside at the height of Summer. Except chavs. And Daily Mail readers. And litter. This imagery represents the fourth most England-like representation of England there is, only it's suffering the blight of low-level head flying which should make you sad and angry at the same time. I call this mood "sangry". So the dream represents suppressed sangriness. Is there something in your life at the moment causing you to feel sangry? Then deal with it and pull yourself together. What the bloody hell's wrong with you?

Dream Element
Sister Gordonia Brown Preparing To Do Battle With Her Fully-Loaded Breasts

Analysis
Combative dreams - those where you find yourself up against an enemy or a number of enemies and must do battle - represent turmoil in real life. Seriously, you probably didn't need me to tell you that but that's the sort of thing you read in these dream analysis books. If Sister Gordonia Brown enters your imagination to aid you then your mind's fixation on this real life problem through your dream state is being affected by hypoxia and you are most likely being smothered in your sleep. Do you have a cat that sleeps on your head or a spouse who you have angered in some way?

Have you had a dream ruined by Gordon Brown? Spill all!