Women of advancing years: do you want to live life to the fullest? I can help. I can tell you the secrets of better living in my upcoming seventy five-part series of lectures Be A Better You Than You Ever Thought You Could Be Before You Heard About This Series Of Lectures That You Are Attending (name subject to change).
What will be covered? What won't be covered!?
Energy! Health! Memory! Sex! Mental Agility! These are the keys to being a better you than you ever thought you could be before you heard about this series of lectures that you will be be attending.
Using photographic aids and patented electroshock suppository technology I will make you be a better you than you ever thought you could be before you heard about this series of lectures that you attend from the inside out (quite literally).
Not convinced? You will be!
Energy: a freshly-made sandwich is better than anything else on the planet. That's a fact. Eat one.
Health: you don't want rickets! Get some sunlight on you stat!
Memory: what was that thing you touched earlier? Suck your finger and relive the past now!
Sex: wear shades and cast approving glances on that tight, tight butt through the window. You know you want to. You've earned the right.
Mental Agility: what can that sexpot be looking at that causes his left hand to twitch just so? The possibilities are endless!
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