"And welcome back to This Year's Street Fashion coming live from the streets of Chichester. I'm joined as always by Ferdinand Dubonnet. Ferdinand, what are you looking forward to seeing today?"
"Thanks Mark. I think the buzz on the street…"
"Thanks. Yes, the buzz on the street is that Leonardo Martini is the hot designer to look out for. Expect an animal prints and aluminium foil fusion that blends future history with present pastness in a pastiche of metaphyscial Indo-European-African-Amer…"
"I'm going to have to interrupt you there Ferdinand because the show's already started and first on the bill is the Winter 2014 range from old stalwart of street fashion Carla Advocaat. And here comes the first model. What do you make of this then Ferdinand?"
"This is clever. I like this. Carla's never been one to shy away from pushing boundaries so the strong emphasis on the flasher mac is unsurprising but pleasant. What's under the coat? That's what you're thinking and your eyes are drawn to the split up the backside to look for the forbidden fruit."
"I really hope there's no fruit up there."
"Indeed. Everything here shouts 'secrecy' which is very important in today's world. The coat hides, the hat hides, the cord earpiece and the phone scream 'I'm communicating, but don't listen to me.' Again, it's a very clever combination and exactly what we'd expect from Carla."
"And what do you make of the shoes?"
"Not the strongest element in this ensemble. I'd have liked to see long, black socks with this piece but I understand the omission."
"Absolutely. It exposes the calves to the world, harking back to sacrifices. This is saying 'take my legs but leave me my privacy.'"
"Thank you Ferdinand. Without your fashion insights this show would be me laughing hysterically into a tumbler of whiskey. We'll be right back after this break."
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