Things You Never Hear People Say

NeverThere’s something really classy about leaving price stickers on the bottom of shoes.

You know, I don’t think there’s one single ugly member of AC/DC.

It’s a nice drink, but it’s no Campari.

We’ve decided to scale back our fining of speeding drivers and concentrate on solving crimes this year.

The person I’d most like to be trapped in an elevator with is Gary Busey.

I wish the music charts were full of more covers of old songs.

Some of the best journalists in the world work for the Daily Mail.

I’m studying the history of French art because that’s where the big money is.

I admire Harry Redknapp because of his selflessness.

I wish politicians would stop asking people what they think and just go off and get things done on their own instead.

Mark Wahlberg’s starring role really benefitted that movie.

Wouldn’t it be nice if just once the Pope said something controversial and out of touch with modern life?

Of course, the larger you make the knot in your tie the better it looks.

I’d never noticed Mariah Carey’s breasts before.

Author: Mark

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8 Comments

  1. Haha! I like the one about AC/DC and Mariah’s breasts : )

    Btw, Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

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  2. Oh I really liked this post. There are so many things you could add, like "Of course they should be bigger, I love how their boxers hang out"

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  3. I never hear people say anything, myself. I just choose to ignore them.

    Anyway: marvellous work. I’ve been meaning to drop by for a while to welcome you back, but you know how it is, being incredibly popular and filthy rich.

    Well, you don’t know how it is, of course, but still…you get my drift.

    Bugger. I’m waffling. Merry Christmas, sir!

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  4. "I’d never noticed Mariah Carey’s breasts before."

    Too busy staring at her ass?

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  5. Marvellous unlikely sayings I must say.

    You forgot also, ‘you can’t blame the banks or the stock exchange for the financial collapse’ which is in the same league as ‘estate agents couldn’t help pushing the house prices up.’

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  6. "But everyone wants a clown for their birthday party"

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