"Look deep into my eyes… Feel yourself getting… Are you looking up my nostrils?"
"I'm very sorry; it's just that you're quite tall."
"Perhaps you're quite short! Ever think of that?"
"I have done on many occasions, thank you. Are you here to hypnotise me or insult me?"
"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm new to street hypnotism and a little nervous and, yes, that's no excuse for rudeness. Sorry. Again."
"That's okay. Why don't you have another go?"
"Thank you. Right… Look deep into my eyes…"
"I am looking deep into your eyes."
"Please… don't repeat what I'm saying."
"Is that one of those hypnotic commands because I have to say I'm feeling no compulsion to obey it?"
"No, it's just irritating… No! Irritating's the wrong word. Er… off-putting! It's breaking up the flow."
"Gotcha! Sorry. Won't speak again."
"Ha ha! Unless I order you to!"
"What!? You chauvinist pig! You think all women are only here to be commanded by men?"
"No! No! No! It was a reference to hypnotism! We're… trying to do street hypnotism here. Remember?"
"Oh… okay. I do remember, now you mention it. I am feeling myself getting sleepy. I think this is working."
"What's working? I haven't done anything yet!"
"Really? Oh, well do you want to get a move on then because some of us have real jobs to get back to."
"Okay! Fine… We'll do this quickly… Look into my eyes and don't say a thing! while you're looking deep, deep into my eyes… Feel yourself getting drowsy… You can only hear… Did you just glance at my crotch?"
"The sun glinted off the material. I don't think you should wear shiny trousers for street hypnotism."
It was at this point that I brought the Street Hypnotism Exam to an end. Unfortunately, Paul had failed but I thanked him for his time, pointed out a few areas he needed to address, and told him I looked forward to seeing him try again in the near future.
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