Stories

• The Time Caterpillar
  21 Jul 2008 19:49 by Mark
  Comments: 10
  
  Rupert Kingsley III here and I am The Time Caterpillar!
• A Statement To The Media
  08 Apr 2008 11:04 by Mark
  Comments: 2
  
  A statement to the media by Creamyhinge Buttwart on the results of the inquest into the death of Timbo, his loyal butler-toadfrog.
• Buxom Amazons Of Jupiter
  16 Feb 2008 09:10 by Mark
  Comments: 2
  
  Following on from my astounding adventure with the Leopard Ladies of Mercury comes another thrilling escapade featuring the mythical Buxom Amazons of Jupiter.
• Literalville
  25 Jan 2008 13:26 by Mark
  Comments: 0
  
  Soft, clean chairs. Lots of smiles. Bright, open windows. The clinking of real crystal tumblers. One of them is mine. There's an inch of dark, smoky malt in the bottom of it. I'm savouring it. It's the only thing I don't instinctively hate about this whole place.
• Knobber In The Skies!
  28 Nov 2007 13:13 by Mark
  Comments: 0
  
  A thrilling tale of adventure over wartime England on a bombing mission where nothing is as it seems!
• A Bloody Great Octopus
  09 Oct 2007 15:29 by Mark
  Comments: 5
  
  There is a drawback to solitary diving and that is, of course, the danger that comes with getting into trouble. On a recent dive I got into trouble. With no easy way to signal for an Emergency Distress Cod I found myself requiring assistance from - of all things - an octopus!
• Sworn Affidavit Of Creamyhinge Buttwart
  04 Aug 2007 11:32 by Mark
  Comments: 2
  
  There follows a sworn affidavit by the renowned bar singer Creamyhinge Buttwart of the events that occurred on the day in question. This affidavit was witnessed by officers present Sergeant Sackwobbling Nasaltwitch and Inspector Morrisdancer Stroke-Seizure-Jones.
• Leopard Ladies Of Mercury
  30 Apr 2007 14:19 by Mark
  Comments: 3
  
  A thrilling adventure to the heart of the solar system awaits you reader if you have the courage! Do you thirst for adventure? Dare you enter the alluring world inhabited by ... Leopard Ladies Of Mercury?!??!!
• Shape-Shifting, Time-Travelling, Sentient Frog
  15 Mar 2007 14:34 by Mark
  Comments: 4
  
  Now, your average frog doesn't shift shape much once it's advanced beyond the tadpole stage. But this frog, see, this frog does. And more! So much more! The barrier of time is no barrier at all - for instance - and intelligence! Whoo! Intelligence coming out of every froggy pore.
• Simile City
  26 Oct 2006 15:24 by Mark
  Comments: 6
  
  The night was hot like an exhaust pipe on a car that had just stopped. What? Looks like someone's taken all the good similes!
• The Christ Caper
  24 Jun 2006 10:33 by Mark
  Comments: 3
  
  Another exciting adventure for biblical detective and drunkard Samuel Spadius! This week: Sam falls foul of an elaborate plan by the Romans to crush Christianity!
• Taunting The Yeti
  21 Feb 2006 15:29 by Mark
  Comments: 5
  
  The Winter Olympics brings back painful memories for me of a cold wind on an icy mountain and a mission to taunt the yeti.
• Sense And Prejudice
  22 Nov 2005 14:05 by Mark
  Comments: 6
  
  Jane Austen's missing work finally published! Exclusive! Sea cucumber-friendly!
• Giraffes and me, c.1920 to c.1945
  19 Oct 2005 15:59 by Mark
  Comments: 5
  
  I'm often stopped and asked about Giraffes and me and the period after the first world war up until the end of the second one. Okay then, here's the definitive answer.
• The Case Of Clive The Ripper
  11 Jul 2005 13:53 by Mark
  Comments: 11
  
  A thrilling new adventure from the pen of Doctor Watson, direct to your viewing screen! Thrill as the thrills of this thrilling new Sherlock Holmes thrill-fest thrill you! Thrills not included.
• The Jerusalem Caper
  15 Jun 2005 14:21 by Mark
  Comments: 8
  
  Thrill to another exciting adventure from Samuel Spadius, Biblical Detective! This week: The Jerusalem Caper!
• The Wingly Wongly Well Goes To War
  12 May 2005 10:36 by Mark
  Comments: 6
  
  The inhabitants of the Wingly Wongly Well think they are at risk of attack! Oh no! What will they do?
• I was a teenage spaceonaut
  08 Mar 2005 14:21 by Mark
  Comments: 2
  
  Did I ever tell you about the time in my youth when I orbited the Earth protecting it from aliens? No! How positively remiss of me. Allow me to explain ...
• Secret Gospel Chapter: Revealed!
  11 Nov 2004 13:05 by Mark
  Comments: 3
  
  Scholars have long suspected that Mark wrote a so-called 'secret gospel chapter' never printed in the Bible. Scholars have also suspected that girls avoid them because they're afraid of their brain power. One suspicion is correct.
• A short(ish) story
  16 Oct 2004 13:50 by Mark
  Comments: 4
  
  Do you like it when people suddenly think 'Hey, I can be an author!' and then proceed to prove how wrong they are? Then you'll love my short sci-fi story.
• The 'I's have it
  27 Aug 2004 14:34 by Mark
  Comments: 9
  
  Temporal anomalies: love them or loathe them they're here to stay ... unless someone goes back into the past and prevents them ever happening I suppose ...