Space Shuttle Foam

Mankind is an innovative beast. Inventor of dynamite. Inventor of the rotary washing line. Inventor of the toilet roll holder. Hell, mankind even invented ceramic tiles powerful enough to withstand the intense heat of re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere from the very edge of space itself! Woo!

But now … mankind has excelled himself … for mankind has invented the toughest material known to mankind, a material so imbued with mankindly strength that it gouges tears in ceramic heat shields and laughs about it afterwards. Ladies and gentlemen, mankind would like to present …

Space Shuttle Foam

Space Shuttle Foam eats ceramic tiles for breakfast and then spends the rest of the morning shitting out ceramic pellets covered in foam crap! And it does this all on a toilet bowl constructed from pure Space Shuttle Foam because no other toilet bowl will do.

Tired of waiting for natural erosion to whittle down that mountain spoiling your view? Maybe you need to take things into your own hands and cut it down to size with a whittling axe made from the material so tough it simply didn’t care when Data died in Star Trek Nemesis. Just what is that material?

Space Shuttle Foam

Just joined Fight Club and found out your first match is against Mike Tyson and he’s foaming at the mouth? Yeah, I said "foaming". You’d stand a better chance if your flimsy human hands of skin and bones and knuckle hairs were replaced in the backstreets of Chile by specialists who do nothing but make replacement hands from the material that gives Chuck Norris nightmares and leaves his bed smelling urine-fresh most mornings. Is that material balsa wood? No, you moron.

Space Shuttle Foam

Are you an alien architect who’s just calculated the tidal stresses on your Type II Dyson Sphere project in the Virgo cluster and realised there’s a very good chance that astro-wicker may not actually have the tensile strength needed and there’s a good chance that interstellar warp-kittens will find themselves uncontrollably attracted to it and scratch it to pieces for no reason whatsoever? Oh, you should have approached NASA my nine-nosed friend. Only NASA can supply you with the miracle material that is so tough it decorates itself with cartoons of the prophet Mohammed.

Space Shuttle Foam

Author: Mark

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1 Comment

  1. Barry Scott says ‘Space Shuttle Foam – Bang! And the Colombia’s gone.’

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