Socks And Sandals

Please be aware that legislation that comes into force today – the 16th of August, 2014 – now makes the wearing of socks with sandals a capital offence in this zone (Habitat Zone F).

The Public Foot Attire Beautification Act (2014) outlines the minimum punishment for any single infringement to be disembowelment, beheading, then belegging. Belegging is defined within the Act as "the removal of the limbs below the waist using a sharpened spatula and/or emery board."

Lesser offences within the Act include the wearing of socks pulled up greater than an inch above the shoe height. Punishment for this particular crime are discretionary depending on the level of public horror but can include up to 25 years of hard labour in Blackpool (Punishment Zone B).

Please be further aware that legislation due to soon come into force in this zone (Habitat Zone F) will also prohibit men from wearing shorts that do not reach the knee and will carry a mandatory punishment of emasculation.

Thank you for your attention. Your fellow citizens appreciate your adherence to the Act.

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Author: Mark

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22 Comments

  1. +Helen Sventitsky-Rother  As you currently reside in Lederhosen Zone Zwei you will be free to engage in fashion cruelty for the foreseeable future.

    +Eileen O'Duffy You will need to petition your local zone general and possibly – like we had to – kidnap his family until he acquiesces to your demands.

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  2. I love socks and sandals…. makes so much sense, no sweaty feet, comfort, and you can use your socks as an emergency serviette if that apple strudel take away is sticking to your fingers…

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  3. Being from the US I see an essential international need, not just a localized movement.

    Are there plans for a globalized effort afoot?

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  4. Well said this is my one pet hate socks with sandals is there really any need

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  5. Yes +Tracy Ross, there is, and it's most distressing to be so prejudiced just because of the socks you love to wear… I want to walk down the street, head held high, and feel proud of my stylin' socks and sandals, walking without fear of being decapitated by extremist, sockless hooligans…

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  6. Im no hooligan but fashion sense gone bonkers really..socks with sandals no in that case wellies all year round..if its summer u need to let your feet breathe..an its not just in london..its each to their own but answer me this why? The whole socks sandals an shorts look is really a mans idea of been normal,sexy or just damn right stupid

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  7. Hiya, in truth I do sometimes wear my gorgeous roman merril sandals without socks, but for example, I was in Athens for two days last week, and was doing a lot of walking in heat… Without socks my feet would get sweaty and make my sandals sticky, slimy and I'd probably chaff myself. With socks, my feet get ventilation and absorb some of the sweat, keeping the leather dryer. IE it's much more comfortable. Other scenario is winter at home. I use birkenstocks (sp) as slippers, and when u kick them off to cosy on the couch, my feet are socked and warm… I do know I look utterly odd, in Athens I was wearing red sunglasses a khaki floppy hat, dark green super long shorts, black socks and brown sandals… The gap between the socks and shorts was about two inches, so I saved on sunscreen too… LOL, so there are good and well considered reasons (^_-)

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  8. I will make soup from my sweaty socks and make you fascists feast on it!

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