Sex, Porn, And Rabbits

Posted by Mark on Dec 8, 2009 | 4 Comments

Rabbits and porn: two seemingly disparate entities whose threads of existence have become inexplicably entangled over the decades. Just what’s that all about?

People do "go at it like bunnies", of course. But that’s only if they’re in a hurry and worried about predators.

Hugh Heffner built an empire on the back of his fixation for ladies with fluffy backsides and large ears. Yet strangely he won’t date women his own age when they’re clearly perfect for him now.

There’s the famous rabbit vibrator too. I’ve seen pictures of it and read about it on Wikipedia (there’s research in them thar articles, ya hear!) and its name allegedly derives from its similarity in appearance to rabbit ears. Ears of a deformed rabbit. That’s been run over by a truck. Then skinned. Then chewed for a bit. Then flung at a wall where it stuck fast.

I have to mention Jessica Rabbit, naturally. One of only two or three dozen cartoon characters that are erotically attractive to men. Yes, you’re right; we should thank the deviant animators of Japan for the majority of the rest.

So rabbits and sex and porn are all bosom buddies and, by-and-large, I don’t think I’ve ever felt any unnatural urge towards the lagomorphs. This got me wondering whether there was something wrong with me. And then I thought about you. What if there’s something wrong with you too?

Yeah, I’m still not getting it.