People often interrupt me to ask: "Mark, when is it okay to wear sandals?"
After I throw those people out of my house – it's my house; there's a sign on the door to that effect – I usher them away from my property with two parting gifts: a kick up the backside and a handy pamphlet that I've lovingly prepared over the years which explains this particular fashion rule in as simple a manner as is possible.
"Have you just fallen through a time puddle into the era when Rome was a great power built on the knowledge and experience of the Greeks and the general wiping-outness-when-possible of the Celts? Then you may wear sandals. And only then."
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