If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise, and if you popped through the gardens at the back of Chichester Cathedral you would also have experienced one as someone had placed clowns at strategic locations inside its walls in a fiendish bid to terrify the unsuspecting public. Fortunately, years of suffering stalking by the horrific harlequins as a youth has given me a healthy suspicion of anyone (you can never be too safe) and everything (especially very small cars) and I was ready for them. I'm always ready for them. Keeping to the grass and small movements, and thinking like a bush allowed me to navigate the greenery safely. I took off and nuked the area from orbit after I'd got clear; it's the only way to be sure.

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Author: Mark

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  1. Excellent post – I'm glad you must have the updated orbiter with the precision nuking capability – wouldn't want to get the brunette as well!

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  2. You are aware that you are making Chichester sound (and look) intriguing. Are you working for the tourist board?

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