Professor Brian Cox, Drunk in Borneo
Professor Brian Cox‘s latest programme for the BBC starts tonight. Wonders of Life follows the programme formula showcased in Wonders of the Solar System and Wonders of the Universe taking Brian across the globe in a bid to explain the complexity, simplicity, and beauty of the evolutionary process and the way in which life came into being on the planet. It will be shown in HD so for those couple of people recently searching to see if Brian Cox wears a wig that will be your best chance to get close to the screen and make your own mind up (hint: would he really choose one that looks like that?)
I caught up with Brian during a break in filming in Borneo and talked to him about the wonders of life. As we were (and still are) both men it was necessary for us to get out the alcohol in order to discuss a matter this emotive.
Brian: Vodka means ‘little water’. Did you know that? Did you?! You need water for life. I think. So… vodka!
Brian: Vodka! Wait! Water for life… water of life! Think about it chum!
Me: Isn’t that whiskey?
Brian: Oh, you’re only fucking right! You’re right you are! You know what? You are right! Let’s make some whiskey!
Me: Whiskey! Do we have the ingredients for whiskey?
Brian: Whiskey has taken millions and millions and billions of years to form… What did you say?
Me: Are we making whiskey or what?
Brian: Vodka and tea and me! I can distill whiskey. Don’t look at me like that! I’m a theoretical physician… physical… scientist! Watch!
Me: Well, you are a bloody wonder.
Brian: I see what you did there ya cheeky monkey!
Me: Heh! Now I’ve seen everything. What sort of whiskey is it?
Brian: It’s quite peaty. I was eating soil earlier.
Me: Right. Why?
Brian: There’s life in soil.
Me: You’re weird. Has anyone ever told you you’re weird?
Brian: No. Nope. Yes. My wife. And you. That’s two!
Me: I’ll drink to that! Champagne!
Brian: Down the hatch!
Brian: Do they still make Skol? I have not had Skol in years.
Me: Do you want some Skol? I think you can probably get some because you’re a famous physicist…
Brian: That’s the word I was looking for!
Me: … but Borneo may not be a great market for weak beer. Might have to helicopter some in.
Brian: I don’t want any Skol but I do like helicopters.
Me: What are we talking about?
Brian: Hey! There’s some WKD Blue behind the counter!
Me: Whoa! Man! Put that down! You and I and you are not ready for that!
Brian: I don’t know… it’s pretty and blue. Blue. We’re on a blue planet.
Me: I haven’t watched Blue Peter in years.
Brian: I wonder what Janet Ellis is up to these days.
Me: Ha ha! I see what you did there! Oh look! There’s an orang utan back there!
Brian: Let’s go ride him!
Me: Brian! Leave him alone! Brian! He’s not worth it! Oh! Ew! Oh, we are so going to need that helicopter now.