In a wonderfully warm ceremony – a great counterpoint to the cold weather – Chichester was today twinned with Moscow. Vladimir Putin could not attend as he was busy posing topless for Judo Fishermen On Horses Quarterly (Russia's top-selling magazine dealing exclusively with fishermen who like both wearing pyjamas and the feel of a stallion between their thighs). However, to impress the importance of this bond between the two great cities the Russian President did send along an old woman with a headscarf as a gift of friendship. This will be a welcome addition to Chichester's existing collection of old women in odd headwear. President Putin, thank you.
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