Pippa Middleton’s Arse

Pippa Middleton's Arse“Mister Fondle!”

“Mister Poke!”

“How lovely to see you here. I didn’t think you attended these things.”

“Cosmetic Surgeons Club? Oh yes, I’ve been to a few. Kept myself to myself in the main although I’ve not visited in a while. Are you sure you haven’t seen me around?”

“I don’t believe so.”

“Have you considered some corrective eye surgery?”

“Oh ho! Very good, very good! You almost had me there.”

“No, but seriously, your left pupil is hideous.”

“Implant accident during an enlargement procedure at work today. A squirt of saline found its way into my eye and, fool that I am, I rubbed it while still holding scissors.”


“Don’t ask. Anyway, how are you? How is Fondle’s?”

“Fondle’s is doing well. Very brisk business recently. A rash of bottom augmentation surgeries on the books in the past few weeks.”

“One should never mention bottoms and rashes in the same sentence.”

“My apologies.”

“Bottom-lifts, eh? Interesting. I’ve had a few average arses arrive and pert posteriors depart the doors of Poke and Prod’s in the last fortnight too.”

“Oh, how is Mister Prod? Still as sprightly as ever?”

“Sadly no. He may not look a day over forty but he is, in fact, several weeks over ninety and we simply cannot risk another lawsuit. We’ll keep the name for the purposes of hilarity though.”

“A shame. But, yes, interesting, as you say, with regards to sudden surge in backside-reshaping.”

“Perhaps it’s because of that delightful Pippa Middleton. Did you see her at the Royal Wedding?”

“I did, but I’m afraid I don’t follow you. Where does Pippa Middleton fit in with bottoms?”

“Women see her; women want what she’s got; women come to us.”

“Hmmm. I’m sure Miss Middleton has a perfectly lovely behind but with hardly an ounce of fat on her body and her complete failure to walk around in bikinis in public I can’t see how people can come to that conclusion.”

“Just a middle-aged cosmetic surgeon’s fantasy then, eh?”

“Late middle-aged.”

“Indeed. Still, it’s a shame we can’t promote it.”

“What? Get an arse like Pippa Middleton even though nobody knows what Pippa Middleton’s arse looks like. Something like that?”

“More devious. Women are flocking to get the amazing new Pippa posterior in time for the summer! Book now while you still can!”

“I’m not sure that we could advertise that, much as I’d like to. There are rules after all.”

“My dear Fondle! It’s not an advert. It’s news.”

“It’s not news. No newspaper would run that story. Hence it not being news.”

“No newspaper, no.”

“I should really attend Cosmetic Surgeons Club more often.”

“Yes, you should.”

“Your eye is leaking. You should get that seen to.”

“Yes, I should.”

Author: Mark

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1 Comment

  1. I must say that Pippa’s arse would be up there with the best of them & I would certainly like to be uo ther’e & give sweet Pip’ a good old Roseleaf.

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