There is an old internet law that states that website owners must make fun about referrer traffic at some point.
I have resisted that law for such a long time … but, alas!, no more.
A combination of events has conspired to force me to address some of the people discovering this site through the power of search engines. Firstly and most importantly, I absolutely have to push that image of Not A Man’s Backside in the previous post off the bottom of the screen as fast as humanly possible. Secondly, it’s hot and my brain doesn’t think of original things very easily when it’s hot. Thirdly, it’s hot if I’ve not mentioned that before, my confusing namesake talked about referral traffic, and I’m easily confused and swayed when it’s hot and I see my own name talking about things.
So, primarily to address the image, but also to address some of the visitors to these virtual shores, and picking some queries of interest from here:
is it ok to give oral sex while you have an ulcer in your mouth
You know how condoms are ribbed for her pleasure? Well, mouth ulcers are nature’s gift to men as compensation. To avoid any pain that might reflexively cause the jaw to snap, though, make sure to coat your guy’s little guy liberally with Bonjela.
can an octopus get the bends
Fortunately for cephalopods there are no outlets of Radiohead music under the sea.
stories of barbers who shave pussy
Well, okay, here’s one. Just for you:
Once upon a time there was a barber who owned the cleanest barber’s shop in all the world. So clean was this shop that people would come from all four corners of the globe just to have their hair cut and beards trimmed. The barber never would, though, lest any hair cause his barber’s shop to become less than perfectly clean.
One day, however, the barber opened up his barber’s shop to discover a mouse sitting in his pristine barbershop chair licking himself. The barber was deathly afraid of mice and terrified that the mouse might moult at some point causing the crowd gathered outside to lose interest in his clean shop so he asked a nearby cat to remove the mouse for him. The cat agreed but only in return for a trim of his whiskers so the barber gave the business-savvy pussy a shave and the mouse was soon sent to mouse heaven.
The next day the barbershop was shut down for health and safety reasons and the barber threw himself off a cliff to his death.
simile for an awful person
The awful person was as awful as a turd on a stick fresh from the Awful Stickturd factory.
does octopus spit inks
Does Google user types English good? The octopus squirts rather than spits as it finds spitting to be a vile habit. This is why you don’t find octopuses playing football.
can you see where your blood goes after being donated
Unless the nurse has screwed up big time then you’ll find your blood in a bag being rocked to sleep next to your arm. What? You thought it poured out all over the floor? You never thought to just look? You some sort of idiot or what?
what ancient reptilians look like
They’re pretty much like your average Reptilians only they have more wrinkles and wear cardigans. Lots and lots of cardigans. And they drive at 8 miles per hour on the motorway.
dr brian cox is gay
He’s actually Professor Brian Cox now I’ll have you know and he’s not gay. While scientists like to experiment, Brian is a theoretical scientist so the closest he’s ever come to exploring the love that dare not speak its name is in his mind and, possibly, on a blackboard in front of a bunch of students. But I’ve no evidence to suggest he did anything of the sort.
the most great octopus in the world
What’s with all the octopus questions? Is there an octopus convention going on?
guys mouth is burning when giving oral sex
There are two possibilities. Firstly, exhausts expel noxious gases away from the car engine and can get very hot. Restrict yourself to cars in a dealer’s showroom or only practice late at night when the pipes are more likely to be cool. Alternatively, did someone switch your Bonjela with chili paste?
I don’t have any pictures to go with these captions so you’ll have to use your imagination, but here goes:
- If that’s a pineapple then what did I just eat?
- No, you open the door Oberleutnant!
- This is nothing! You should see the state of the other pseudophyllid cestodes!
- Take your stinking probe out of me, you damn dirty alien!
- Moth, moth, moth, armadillo.
Ha ha! They’re just too witty!