Not Thinking About Things

"We should come up with a new word."

"A new word? A new word for what?"

"I don’t know. Something that doesn’t have a word."

"Okay. That makes sense. Avoids duplication. So, what doesn’t have a word?"

"There’s loads of things that don’t have words."

"Can you name one then? It might make this process of coming up with a new word a little faster, after all."

Brain"I can’t think of one right now. Can you?"

"Nope. Certainly not an object anyway. I’m pretty certain they all get words before they’re let out into the wilds. It’s to limit confusion among the general populace."

"Not an object. A concept then! A word for a concept that has no word."

"I’m not even sure what a concept is. Mind you, I am drunk at the moment."

"Oh yeah, me too. I think all the objects and concepts around drunken behaviour probably have words by now."

"So drunken concepts are off the table. We still need a thing or a concept or a something that isn’t one of those things that doesn’t have a word so we can come up with the word for it."

"I simply cannot think of something that doesn’t have a word."

"Me neither."

"You know what? Sometimes I find that you can get the answer to something by not thinking about it. Perhaps we should try not thinking about something that doesn’t have a word so that we can come up with the word."

"Sounds like a plan. Here’s to not thinking about something that doesn’t have a word in order to come up with a word for the something that doesn’t have a word when we finally think of the thing that doesn’t have a word by not thinking about it."

"Cheers!"

"Cheers!"

"Bingo!"

"What?"

"Bingo!"

"Yeah, I hate to break it to you but Bingo is a word for the thing that is Bingo. That’s how words for things that have words works."

"No, no, no. Is there a word for deliberately not thinking about the thing you need an answer for in order to think of the answer?"

"I don’t think so! By Jove I think you’re onto something there!"

"I mean, obviously the Germans will have a word for it. Probably around a hundred and twenty letters long with a literal translation of Secret Hidden Lightning Brain Think Answer. But we don’t, I don’t think. At least I’ve not head of one."

"I’m sold. Okay. We’ve got a thing that doesn’t have a word. The act of not thinking about something in order to come up with the answer for that thing. Now we need a word."

"A word …"

"A word, yeah …"

"I can’t think of a word that isn’t silly or already taken. Geoff, for example, is both silly and already taken."

"What does Geoff mean then?"

"It means someone who is called Geoff."

"Ah, as in: Look at that great Geoff walk into the wall."

"Exactly. Geoff is off the table."

"Geoff can join the drunken concepts then."

"That’s the sort of thing a Geoff would do."

"We’re digressing. The word!"

"The word!"

"Still can’t come up with a word."

"Well, you know what I do when I can’t come up with an answer?"

"I’m really quite drunk but I think I know where you’re going with this."

"That’s right. I try not to think about the answer."

"I like it. Let’s do that then."

"Yes. Let’s come up with a word for not thinking about something in order to come up with the answer by not thinking about coming up with a word for not thinking about something in order to come up with the answer."

"That could be difficult. It’s all I can think about."

"More beer might help."

"Whose round is it?"

"It’s Geoff’s. Give him a poke. He’s off the table."

Author: Mark

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6 Comments

  1. I had the perfect word to describe this phenomenon, but then I decided not to think about it, and thus I forgot it.

    Curses!

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  2. Totally hylarical (new word from my child – hysterical with hilarious). That was absolutely brilliant. Never read anything quite like it before. Please tell me it came from a sober mind. *grin* Really wish I could think of that word. I’ll probably be thinking about it all day!

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  3. Yer lordship: Already having the perfect word and then choosing to not think about it as opposed to not thinking about a word you don’t know in order to think about it is a completely different thing altogether. I believe what you’re referring to is syphilitic tissue degeneration.

    Sandra: This tale was inspired by true events and sobriety was, I happily confess, nowhere to be seen.

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  4. I quite like the German translation for the concept which you can’t find a name for yet. Sounds like the name of a Radiohead song.

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