Lonely Hearts
05 Apr 2008 08:40 by Mark
These are actual adverts from the Lonely Hearts section of my local, free newspaper.
Antonio is sick-to-death of fake females. Please! No more fake females. The Adam's Apple? Dead giveaway.
You're single? Oh you must meet my friend! What's he like? Erm. Refreshingly unusual. Seriously, you won't notice the third arm and constant snorting after a while.
Hi, nice to meet you. You were a secretary I hear. Me? Oh, I used to be horse glue.
People say my best features are my dark, long eyes. I can see very well at night but it takes me three seconds to blink so I can't drive or operate heavy machinery.
Dude! That's your mum! Gross!
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In my area the local paper has a section called "Find a Friend", or as most people I know prefer to call it: "Find a Fiend" (having witnessed the quality of individual their postings belie).
.45: If she is then that would also aid her night vision. However, she would attract moths. Not so good.
Grazor: What would my ad say?
And yours?
By the way, dropped you an entrecard !!! Good day! : )
These were too funny, thanks for sharing. I'll have to see if my own local rag has these.
~Lisa
Done and indeed done.
Excellent work, by the way.
There's just no honesty in ads these days.