Imaginary Furry Psychopaths

Is there something missing in your life?

Are your family causing you trouble through repeated coaxing to get yourself a furry psychopath?

Do your friends look down on you because you’re the only one not being stalked by an obsessive, mentally-deranged, costumed nutcase?

Or are you just in need of a little excitement?

Imaginary Furry Psychopaths

With an Imaginary Furry Psychopath you can engage in a realistic-looking, yet nearly controllable (to some level) relationship with the psychotic deviant of your dreams – or nightmares, haha!

You tell us how you met, where you met, send us one item of clean underwear, and supply any additional personal details you feel are pertinent to completely fool those who really know you; just let us handle the rest. Each short- or long-term terrifying experience with an Imaginary Furry Psychopath is completely unique and you can choose the level of service you feel comfortable with and when you’d like it to end. If you’re lucky the feeling will be mutual.

Just Like A Real Furry Psychopath!

The furries are real but their psychotic disorders are exagerrated slightly! This amazing service is easy-to-use and fun until you try to quit. When you’ve had enough we’ll do our best to warn the police your life or various orifices are in genuine danger!

The I.F.P. Service

At neOnbubble we’re all accomplished experts in the field of stalking – many of us with multiple restraining orders and rooms filled with souvenirs from various celebrities’ sock drawers and bath overflow pipes – and the Imaginary Furry Psychopath service includes a rising scale of harrassment honed and perfected over many man-years of masturbating in bushes outside windows:

  • friendly emails,
  • not-quite-so-friendly emails with candid photos,
  • adversorial blood-written letters,
  • messages left on your answer phone or calls to your school, home, or workplace,
  • your underwear returned, used,
  • secret photographs or video footage of you taken by your psychopath, delivered in stained packaging,
  • home intrusion,
  • and much, much more!

There’s really no limit to what some of our fabulous Imaginary Furry Psychopaths can come up with in their minds and we find that surprise and real, unrestrained terror makes our service the best bar none.

Featured Imaginary Furry Psychopath Profiles

Foxy Francesca Foxy Francesca

Will Stalk: Males only.

I’m based in New York, NY. I’m 28 and I’m a professional weightlifter when I’m not making your life a living misery, LOL!

SPECIALITIES:

  • Graphic emails
  • Pet kidnapping
  • Undraped photos hand-posted

MORE ABOUT ME:

I was privately tutored growing up because teachers kept disappearing. I learnt that a lack of direct evidence will keep you out of jail but the authorities will still keep an eye on you and that’s why I feel that my ability to hide evidence nowadays is as near perfect as it’s going to be.

If you’ve got an existing girlfriend or wife and think that she will enjoy or benefit from the experience of a low-medium risk abduction then I’m the one for you. Just make sure she doesn’t wear green. I’ll rip her head off if she wears green.

X, Francesca.

Donna Keyote Donna Keyote

Will Stalk: Males, Females, or Groups.

Hi, I’m Donna from Colorado, 32 years old, and I’m fascinated by asses!

SPECIALITIES:

  • Writing incoherently
  • Defecating at will
  • Ass fetishism

MORE ABOUT ME:

You’ll find I’m as stubborn as a mule and almost as intelligent, LM-Ass-O!!! I’m short and chubby but I’m surprisingly strong having raised three kids singlehandedly – one of which I didn’t steal – and I could snap your fingers like cocktail sticks. I like cocktail sticks.

I really love asses and if you ever try to leave me I’ll kick your door down and tear you a new rectum. But I’m really nice if you get to know me. I’m not very good on the computer so I like to meet clients in their cars. I’m adept at breaking and entering. Can’t wait to get together and horse around! LM-Ass-O!

Lots of love, Donna.

Clarke Shark Clarke Shark

Will Stalk: Males or Females.

I’m Clarke from Finland. I am a cold-blooded 24 years of age. I am closer to being a shark than a human. I am studying to become a real shark at university.

SPECIALITIES:

  • Making soup
  • Sleeping with my eyes open
  • Certificate in woodwork

MORE ABOUT ME:

People say that I am not very emotional and hard to get along with but that is because I am Scandinavian.

I take my alternate form very seriously and I am endeavouring to be the most perfect psychopathic shark in the world although I know I still have some way to go; the goldfish said so. They leave messages in the castle. They are my chums.

I am looking forward to us becoming (feeding) friends (e) – that is a Finnish shark joke.

Author: Mark

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1 Comment

  1. I do not require a psychopathic stuffed animal stalker. However, I am at this very moment having a terrifying experience with some cold germs, ineffective throat lozenges, cold medication that seems to be nothing more than speed in flashy scientific packaging, and an endless series of bowls of clear broth. Can you do anything with that?

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