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I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andie MacDowell……
I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andie MacDowell… ohhh.
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Eurovision Song Contest - Malmö 2013 - Final - »
ani
, Beste Arfin Kiriloğlu
, ᏓᏰ #team Monique
, WoH: Professor MOTHRA
, حسین امیری
, Maitani
, and اردویسور
liked this.
Final's starting in Olympics fashion.
Yay, you're here! I'm not a tweeter...
Do we really want to press the red button for enhanced coverage... unless they've got Zamms on there ;-)
France up first which explains why they're last in the betting.
She's a bit like Tina Turner's grand-daughter
First time hearing this French entry and I quite like it; French noir feel to it. Absolutely not a chance in hell but it's okay.
Graham Norton's commentary helping with some of the pain.
The problem - well, one of many - with this Lithuanian song is that it's barely being sung at all. He's hardly breaking out of reading out loud.
But he's wearing a white t-shirt and a leather jacket so that makes him cool, yeah?
It never worked for me in the 90s so no.
The butterfly is freaking me out a bit ;-)
Ah, it's her with the hair and the dress. The dress is kinda funky.
Moldova - I'm pre-occupied with the duck that's sat on her head...
Does her dress have lights in it?
Wait and see!
She's Joan of Arc!
She turned me into a newt!
No, Finland, No!
She sings not badly
Finland next; catchy and crap which is what I look for in a Eurovision song. Sounds like she's swearing and it ends with some lesbianism. It's got everything.
Well yeah, but catchy and crap didn't work for Scooch!
Finland is kind of strange this year
Spain: is she wearing one shoe?
I'm not feeling spain at all. Esp now I'm staring at her feet!
I know. It distracted me after I mentioned it too.
Keep your eyes on the dancers for this one.
Is he singing 'love kills' or let's kiss'?
I so want to put the dancers behind Robert Palmer's Addicted to love
Belgium was ok but do we really want a song called Love Kills to win? I mean what kind of that message does that send?
A harsh message. A Belgian message.
A message with frites.
And mayo!
I didn't mind that - who was it again... the ballad in the white frock?
Estonia I think. I drifted off during it.
Ah yes. The disco ball and the tassels.
If you come out of a glitter ball, I want disco!... not holiday action song that all the reps try to get you to join in with when all you want to do is drink to forget the horror unfolding before you.
Needs more squinting.
Russia: first track that someone in this house (not me) has put a bet on.
I can go with this... oh, until that crappy key change!
and the cheesy holding hands ending
It was very Eurovision, though, and being Russia they're guaranteed of big votes. Or else.
Now this one should have come out of the glitter ball
And I did like Russia, just thought the staging let it down at the end
Germany wasn't bad.
no comment
Can you hear the Black Sabbath influence in this track? Me neither.
I liked Cascada's old songs more.
We can stop what Armenia?
The audience didn't seem to like Armenia there. And I thought they had no taste.
Netherlands now. I've actually put an each way bet on this as it grew on me.
It ain't growing on me..
It may need damp conditions.
It's really good
Awesome. Romania now. This is hilariously awful... yet...
Graham's intriguing me...
He can hit high notes. A lot.
oh my i thought the dancers were nekkid
Wishful thinking there methinks.
he's not making me want to participate in this thing called love that makes my life complete
A lot of people I know on Twitter are threatening to vote for Romania.
Come on Bonnie!
Damn. She's singing flat.
Which was Romania? She's flat!
Has she had work done... distracted by her top lip
Romania was the high-pitched guy.
Cesar! Well at least he sang in tune...
An average song from the hosts.
His jacket looked a bit 'straightjackety' and his intense stare had me a little disconcerted..
Hungary now and this is one my missus has put a cheeky each way bet on.
Denmark now. Odds on favourite. Not a fan.
She's the one who flashed her knickers on the bridge at the beginning...
my toes are involuntarily tapping...
Graham: If this were a singing contest this next man would do very well ;-)
Ah, here comes the Jesus dude.
The Jesus dude with split ends. It's annoying the missus.
Yellow leaf?
Sure. Why not?
That's my dad's each way vote of the night done too now.
Man in the box is cool in this Azerbaijan song. That's all.
I was transfixed by that... not sure in a good way... but it's definitely catchy and that was a LOT of red material...
I've forgotten it already. It's a defence mechanism.
I think I'm gonna want to forget Greece!
It's fun to imagine that's a normal-sized instrument and he's a giant.
And now an actual giant.
I can see Ukraine doing quite well.
I like this - though her dress isn't very flattering
Ok, so far... Russia, Denmark, Ukraine. No particular order at mo. Just making a note for later when I've forgotten who's who... adds Estonia, and Azerbaijan possibly
So this is what goes multi platinum in Italy.
Apparently the Italian guy had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction in the rehearsal/jury vote performance so not a chance.
ermm.... did he forget to zip?
Not liking Norway (sorry Eivind)
Why don't I see Greece getting mentioned? ;_; Ska <3
Only 2 left? Already!
ani: Ska's good, but alcohol isn't free. It's the blatant lying in the song that upsets us most.
Georgia could do well... it's pushing Eurovision buttons... even if they look like they hate each other!
Bit too Disney for my liking.
Ireland are last up. Topless drummers Helen!
AHAHAHA Mark, I haven't considered that obstacle!
and another white tshirt/leather jacket combo!
"sponsored by your local tribal tattoo shop"
So many questions, yes!
Seeing Jean Paul Gaultier has made me miss Eurotrash again.
You cannot vote more than 20 times!
Dive my hawkmen!
Interval show time.
Loving the lyrics.
If Turkish TV didn't like the lesbian kiss then they may just have exploded there.
Expecting ABBA to appear any second.
Voting results! Excitement!
Greece takes an early lead.
Denmark starting to stretch ahead.
United Kingdom doing surprisingly well. We actually have a point and aren't last.
Make that 4 points!
Azerbaijan and Denmark out ahead.
Healthy lead for Denmark with 16/39 voting done.
That's some Spanish cleavage.
And we've doubled our points! Thank you Spain.
Took a break to watch Doctor Who. So what's what?
The scoreboard tells all.
Ireland rock bottom at the halfway stage. Denmark not totally running away with it; Azerbaijan and Ukraine have a chance of an upset but it seems unlikely.
How is Norway up in 4th?
It makes you wonder if any of the people announcing the national votes have ever watched the show before with the high number of long pauses between scores.
Malta have given us points!
It's Lena!
And she mucked up the voting announcement! Yikes!
Denmark stretching ahead again.
Have we given our points yet?
Points from Ireland.
Yes, we have.
Who did our announcing?
Scott Mills.
42 points ahead for Denmark with 6 countries left to vote. Foregone conclusion.
Denmark can't be caught now.
Lithuanian announcer declaring his love for Bonnie Tyler... was a bit odd.
Well, that's Eurovision over for another year. Next year it's the home of bacon and Carlsberg and Peter Schmeichel.
Manchester Asda?
Eurovision Song Contest - Malmö 2013 - Semi Final 2 - »
Starting now...
Not sure that the hostess likening herself to Mother Teresa is a sensible move unless she's referring to a shared dress sense.
She's still in foil.
That was a good opening, though. Spectacular!
Latvia first.
Jedward are obviously big influences in Latvia.
It's quite peppy.
This is atrocious and dated. Why are they trying to be hip-hop?
It's still 1993 in Latvia.
Did that guy have an iPad on his guitar?
Wouldn't surprise me.
San Marino now.
Valentina Monetta is beautiful, but she also has a Celine Dion quality to her.
I can see this going through to the final; not sure how it will do there but the faster second half is helping.
Macedonia next.
And in Romany too, apparently.
Oh my.
Esma?
I'm not sure the blend of song styles and languages works but she's full of fun.
I like the blend. She has a great voice.
Azerbaijan up.
He has a smile that I'd describe as creepily evil.
He looks like Mario Lopez. I was like, "Wait. What?!"
The music fits his looks.
Jury vote will probably work in his favour tonight; I'm not a fan, though.
The stage theatrics are kind of weird. Or...pointless. What's with the guy in the box?
Best not to wonder too hard.
Finland next.
That's a look.
I didn't enjoy Finland leading up to this. The video for this song makes the song even worse than it is.
Apparently, Turkey won't get to see this performance because of the ending.
It's awfully memorable.
She just ripped off Madonna.
Hoping to get the Tatu fans from years past. I kinda enjoyed it.
You're probably in commercial right now? Online, they show us Linda Woodruff being funny in different countries.
BBC doesn't have ads; we've got an interview with Lithuanian guy.
Malta.
Ah. It's funny watching Twitter reactions. Eveyone loves Woodruff, but the UK people seem embarrassed by her.
This guy is a doctor...I guess when he's not singing.
Not really a Eurovision-feeling song. Pleasant enough but nothing to get excited about.
Music reminds me of Violent Femmes but less rock-ish. TMBG?
The second semi's been a lot more upbeat than the first.
Bulgaria now.
Now this is Eurovision-feeling. I like this; just the right mixture of mental elements.
Iceland.
Missed Bulgaria because of food.
Sadly, my screen is still stuck on Malta. :(
Then you're missing the Icelandic Jesus right now.
Iceland participating first time in icelandic since 1997. woohoo!
Good voice but a bit dreary.
It's back. He looks like a Southern prosperity preacher on TV. Actually, the music sounds like praise music, so that doesn't help.
Greece next.
It's SKA!
Indeed it is.
Why does everyone Twitter keep posting "alcohol is free'?
Greece do like their party songs. It's no Opa! though. Alcohol is free is the name of the song.
Israel now.
Ah, okay. Thanks.
Israel rocking that Nana Mouskouri look.
Wife has pointed out that Israel singer's boobs aren't level.
Armenia.
Why does the Armenian guy look like my husband?
Weak Chris Cornell feel to that.
Hungary next.
He almost seems embarrassed to be there. Commentators were saying that this flight to Sweden was his first trip out of the country.
I just read he has a master's degree in Philosophy. #randomfacts
Norway up now.
A lot to like about this.
I wish she wouldn't smile so much while singing this song. It seems out of place. I like it. This is the song that won her the spot.
Yes, I like that. Well done Norway.
Albania.
So far, I'm partial to Norway and Greece. Much better than anything in the Semi 1, save Moldova and Montenegro.
Okay, I'm liking this Albanian song. Early 70s rock feel to it; I can almost hear some Led Zep in this.
Georgia now.
Yawn.
Heard it a thousand times before.
LOL I thought I was the only one: https://twitter.com/musicforanurse/status/335125180458352640
They were a bit unintelligible.
Switzerland now.
Oh, I remember not liking this song from Switzerland.
How old is that double bassist?
Have they wheeled him out of an old people's home for the night? He looks a bit confused.
Oh, this is poor. Vocal range of about three notes between them.
He's 95. The whole group is really unimpressive. I couldn't believe they got picked for the semis.
Romania now.
Er. Nice outfit?
Oh. Kay.
Well, this certainly shows up the lack of vocal range of the Swiss to some effect.
What I said about this song back in March: https://friendfeed.com/faboomama/77f9ad34/cezar-it-my-life-finala-eurovision-2013-youtube
He's talented; I'll give him that. But that's about it.
Yup, not a hope in hell for Romania.
Someone on Twitter called him Dubstep Dracula. X_____________X https://twitter.com/Its_Matt/status/335127454144417792
Favourite three: Albania, Norway, Finland.
Here come the winners of the second semi...
Hungary
Azerbaijan
Georgia
Romania
Norway
Iceland
Armenia
Finland
Malta
Greece
I really don't get how Romania and Iceland got chosen.
It's irritating. The 50% jury vote in the semis is supposed to offset bloc voting but all it's done is weight the balance in favour of bland entries. Romania were last, which helps, and weird, which helps. Iceland wasn't thrilling, but it was okay; I can see how it got through.
My friend posted this in re: Eurovision voting: http://lyricstranslations.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/eurovision-voting-pacts.jpg
Ditto. - »
Eurovision Song Contest - Malmö 2013 - Semi Final 1 - »
Iván Abrego
, jormu
, Hookuh Tinypants
, sofarsoShawn ~presque...
, Maitani
, Anika
, and کلیـستن
liked this.
10 minutes until the first semi final. As usual, I've not checked out the performers in advance; it's far more fun to be surprised and horrified in equal measure as it's performed live on television and the web.
Hostess for the evening apparently wearing a dress fashioned from aluminium foil.
Austria first. Very 1980s look. Song is pretty unmemorable which is some achievement as it's still going.
Birgit from Estonia now and a singer five months pregnant just to be different. Wearing a shower curtain just to be super different. Good to see it not being sung in English. White outfit and wind machine already looks to be the theme of tonight's performances.
Hannah representing Slovenia now. I like the futuristic, quasi-military, quasi-avian uniform she's gone for. Quote from wife: "she's winning the shoe contest." Song's typically European disco. Not sure if I like it or not.
Croatia. Men! Traditional dress! A song that translates as "misery!" Could be awesome.
Not bad. Good harmonies. Pleasant sound, cracking-looking coats.
A favourite to win now with Denmark's Emily de Forest.
Hey! It's a white outfit and the wind machine's blowing!
Oh, it started already? I've been catching the videos on the site, but I'm not dazzled by anyone this year.
First semi tonight; second on Thursday; final on Saturday. I've avoided all the videos this year as I don't think they tend to do the live performances much justice.
Wasn't impressed by Denmark.
Wait. Russia is considered part of Europe?
Dina Garipova for Russia now. As the commentators here just said: she has a certain Kardashianesque look to her but she can't be one as she has talent.
Yes, Russia's in Europe. All the cool countries are.
Pffft. Also, is it just me or does it seem like more of the contestants are singing in English nowadays? Most of the videos I watched the past few months we in English.
I'm not a fan of English songs in Eurovision either but it all started when the post-competition race to make money took over.
WHOA. Is Zlata tiny or what that a giant dude?
Ukraine entrant there being delivered on stage by a giant; he's 8 ft tall. And she's wearing white. No obvious wind machine presence but the fog machine is active.
She has a Celine Dion quality to her. I'm not a fan.
Netherlands next.
Ukraine song was very meh. Dress irritated my missus as it clearly didn't fit properly.
Not a fan of Anouk at all.
It's quite nice for a dirge.
Her set is pretty though. I like the bird lights, there. I also like that's not in a dress. It's so rare to see women in pants during this event.
Yes, not a winner - or even close - but I quite liked it.
Montenegro now.
About as different to the last song as is possible.
Rapping astronauts. Now this is what Eurovision is about.
I still think they need to work on their flow. Their music is good though. It always makes me want to dance. They need to dump the lady though or use her sparingly.
She looks like she's wearing an early prototype of Google Glass.
Loved it. Apparently it's very big in the Balkans too.
Lithuania.
I don't like this guy. I watched his last performance. His music sounds like any 90s era "rock" band. Blah.
One of the more commercial appeal tracks, though. His looks should appeal to a large demographic.
"Because of my shoes, I'm wearing today" is probably one of the worst lyrics I've ever heard.
Absolutely.
Alyona Lanskaya's videos are so horrible. And she's singing that song again.
But it's a giant disco ball! Giant disco balls are so cool.
I'm pretty sure that Belarus will get a phone vote from my dad right now; she has that look he likes. The barely-clothed one.
*snort* I say if you're going to wear a shimmy dress, then you be damn well do a lot of shimmying. Don't just stand in it.
Moldova now.
That's some hairstyle.
Aliona Moon. She's scary looking, but I saw a video of hers and it was pretty okay.
It looks like she's bought a shirt and left the card inlay in it.
Ooh. Nice dress action.
Wow the lightning was cool!
Ireland now.
Topless drummers, good-looking singer but this is average at best.
This guy was born 20 years too late. He would've been a hit in the 80s.
Cyprus up now.
That Australian thing was weird.
Australian thing? Must have been web feed only.
That's a very distracting dress.
Oh. It was a thing about Australian's love of Eurovision. I guess it was supposed to be funny.
Stop trying to peep, Mark!
Can't. Stop. Staring.
Belgium now.
I suppose it doesn't help that she's a gorgeous woman.
I didn't notice her face.
The Belgian backing dancers are just awful. Truly awful. Hilariously bad.
I can't stop laughing at this entry. It's all bad; the dancers the weird faces from Belarossa.
So funny.
I feel he's staring into my soul OVER AND OVER!
Final act for the night: Serbia.
Three seconds into this and I like it already.
I don't even have to ask my wife to know that she loves the shoes on show.
Is it some kind of Cinderella story they're telling?
Well, it was no Montenegro but it wasn't dreadful.
Those are some healthy-looking women.
Her dress really is made of aluminum foil, huh?
It looks like it.
Are you voting? Who are you choosing?
I won't vote but if I did it would be for Montenegro. Croatia and Belarus were thereabouts too.
We also want Belgium to go through because of the dancers. Have to see them again in the final.
What about you? Any faves?
Montenegro because I liked the music the best and Moldova for the stage.
#LightShowz!
Voting results time.
Moldova.
Lithuania.
Ireland.
Estonia.
Belarus.
Denmark.
Russia.
Belgium.
Ukraine.
And finally: Netherlands.
No joy for Montenegro; the 50% jury vote would have ruled them out before this started most likely.
They still haven't annouced it on the web. Meaning there's a 20 second delay online. Maybe I'll try to find it on TV.
All the former Soviet countries qualified; none of the former Yugoslavia ones. Shame.
Someone on Twitter mentioned that saying that Eastern Europe should have their own contest. I still can't believe Belgium ranked, though. Didn't people *see* that?
Astronauts Will See 'Star Trek Into Darkness' Before Anyone Else - »
"The three astronauts on board the International Space Station are getting a sneak peak of the latest Star Trek film just before people around the world get a chance to see it in theaters themselves."
"Anyone else" and "people around the world" being phrases that mean "Americans". Just got back from watching it; very enjoyable and Benedict Cumberbatch is twice as excellent as you imagine he might be.
FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS.
Freints - http://www.freints.com/ - »
Zulema ❧ spicy cocoa tart
and Rodfather
liked this.
"Welcolm into FREINTS! Frients! TV showe of Newyurk wit the Rackel, Rash, Momaka, Chambler, Jobey an Pobe."
Is this like CRIMER?
Same person, yes.
Apostrophe now: Bad grammar and the people who hate it - »
"A new grammar and spelling test arrives in primary schools in England this week. It is the first time in a while that such emphasis has been put on grammar. Some of the questions will seem straightforward for many adults, such as where to place a comma or a colon in a sentence. But other aspects - identifying different types of adverbs or distinguishing between subordinating and co-ordinating connectives - might raise eyebrows."
"So where do you draw the line between pedantry and slovenliness? Mount says the split infinitive is perfectly acceptable. "To boldly go, sounds better than to go boldly," he argues. The word "whom" sounds archaic so there's no need to worry about who and whom, he says. But anything that damages meaning and clarity should be avoided. For instance, the apostrophe should be defended at all costs, he says."
How can you hide from what never goes away? - »
ᏓᏰ #team Monique
, Iván Abrego
, rowlikeagirl
, Steven Perez
, babbioncella scherzosa
, and Zulema ❧ spicy cocoa tart
liked this.
Fantasy architecture by Minoru Nomata
Leading the way, TWA – Retro Posters - »
"They may not be around any longer but their posters remain in perpetuity for us all to admire. TWA, once the glamour-pusses of the airline world, were flying here, there and everywhere and their ad campaigns weren’t afraid to show it either. Even the posters advertising their cargo routes rocked."
Philip Stein Wine Wand Collection - »
"Perfect as a wine accessory for home or travel, the elegant wand, made with Swarovski crystals, uses natural frequencies to aerate wine in minutes rather than hours. Tested and appreciated by Sommeliers, this breakthrough collection creates the ultimate experience for wine aficionado and connoisseur alike."
And via http://shop.philipstein.co.uk/Wine-Wands-How-it-works - "The elegant wand with encapsulated glass jewels uses natural frequencies to perfectly aerate wine. [...] Philip Stein® is the leader in mind-body wellness using natural frequency-based technologies in luxury products. The Wine Wand has been created to accelerate the aerating process of wine by replicating the natural frequencies of air and oxygen, and infusing them into the wine. [...] All Philip Stein® luxury products are permanently embedded with the natural frequency-based technologies and the Philip Stein® Wine Wand is a beautiful and indispensable part of any oenophile's collection."
And only £125 for the cheap one! Wow!
Have you heard? The immigrants ruined Britain - »
"You know who mucked up the economy, don’t you? It’s obvious from the laws proposed in the Queen’s Speech. It’s immigrants who don’t have their papers in order, that’s who. It was Somali refugees, popping out from their hostel to the local council to say: “Yesterday, on the way home from the Jobcentre, I whiled away the afternoon by speculating on the American loans market. So this week, as well as my £24 social security, I need a £20bn bailout as I seem to have lost the lot. And a £3m bonus, otherwise I’ll leave the country.”"
"Then there’s the £90bn a year lost through tax avoidance schemes, most of which is down to Polish strawberry-pickers. It’s about £8m a strawberry they’re paid, and then they put it all in special accounts in the Cayman Islands and we don’t get a penny. No wonder Ukip is becoming so popular. And of all those cockle-pickers who brought the banking system to its knees – not one has voluntarily given back their knighthood."
Brilliant! This is what street shooting is about.
Someone is having a bad day
its a cracking shot but love the commentary as well. brilliant