I remember with some fondness seeing this advert for Halls of the Things on the Sinclair ZX Spectrum in the eighties.
It looked like the sort of game I’d enjoy; fantasy with a hint of science fiction.
And crouching! Oh, how I loved to crouch in the eighties!
And being t-shirtless! It was the warm decade where secondhand cocaine abuse by stock market traders heated us all into a frenzy of toplessness.
A sword! We were all armed to the teeth back then. Duran Duran might appear at any moment and only cutting off their heads could stop them.
Orange stars and white sparkles! Another side effect of nearly toxic levels of cocaine in the atmosphere.
What a period!
Yet for some reason I never bought the game and I don’t know why.
Fast forward a couple of years (okay, a few decades if we’re getting picky) and I’m now rich enough and powerful enough (and deluded enough to think I’m rich enough and powerful enough) to be able to play this game whenever I want.
I’ll be honest: I was disappointed.