There's a dreadful amount of trafficking in animals in Chichester; it's something that the police seem powerless to prevent or, just perhaps, they've given up caring.

But some of us still care. We work in secret for fear of reprisals and we vary our methods to stay one step ahead of the traffickers. You spot a gerbil smuggler and you might bump against him clumsily, exhaling alcohol fumes facewards for good measure; he's irritated and pushes you away and you gladly go because that gerbil's in your pocket now and you've just handed off a replacement in the form of something that some dog owner previously wrapped up and disposed of in a nice, red bin. Or you see some thugs brazenly pushing a narwhal into the back of a van and you decide to give them the horn they seem so desperate for with a seductive belly dance while your colleague frees the captive creature unseen. Or, like today, you distract a courier with a Bluetooth message from across the street offering free leopards with every coffee at Starbucks giving just enough time by a convenient ledge for the abducted horselet to climb out and make his escape. Run little horselet! Run for your life!

But it never ends and tomorrow you'll probably do it all again.

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Author: Mark

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