Dining Outdoors

I don't see the appeal in eating a meal outside. Not ever, and especially not in October in England.

Outdoors can be very noisy. Why would anyone want to eat where it's noisy? I know it can be noisy indoors too but it's a different type of noise; there are often fewer pneumatic drills, buses rolling past, or people asking if you want to buy the Big Issue.

And it's cold outside in October in England. The sun might be out but it's a weaker sun than just a few weeks ago with less radiation getting through the increased depth of atmosphere. And the wind has an edge to it as it blows across the food and strips it of its microwaved heat. A cold meal? How dreadful!

And outdoors has insects; things that walk and slither but most often fly and either land on the food or hover in front of the face as part of an elite insect distraction team while covert crawlies swipe tasty morsels from the ends of forks or stand in gravy and stick two antennae up at you from the plate.

There's less protection from meteorites when you're outside. Indoors you've usually got at least one roof over your head but it's typically two or more. There's tiles and insulation and floorboards and plaster to slow down those meteorites to survivable levels, plus there's a better chance that the lump of rock will shatter before it gets to your table. That means you get to finish your meal. Outdoors? Not a hope! Cutlery everywhere, a smashed plate spinning to the ground, and your dinner partner nursing a horrible case of missing-half-a-head. Why, people? Why would you want to eat outside?

Outdoors dining? Two words: airborne plague. One word: door. Airborne plague has not mutated to the stage where it can open a door so performing a little mental arithmetic quickly tells you that you're better off eating indoors unless you're the sort of weirdo who enjoys dinner conversations along the lines of:

"How's the meat?"
"It's a little tough and I'm not keen on the sauce."
"Your nose has fallen off and there's a steady stream of blood and mucus running down your face onto your plate."
"Well that explains why the garlic paté doesn't smell so overpowering."

You're not one of those weirdos, are you? No!

Outdoors dining? I don't think so!

For #StreetPhotography curated by +Tatiana Parmeeva +Thorsten von Eyb +Maria Roco and for #StreetPics #StreetSaturday  

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Author: Mark

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14 Comments

  1. Ohhh – a typical Englishman commenting about dining out.  Maybe if you live somewhere else, your opinion will change? ;)
    I like this scene you captured – the couple's expressions – not really sure they are enjoying their surrounding.  But the lighting, the restaurant window, the triangular restaurant placard on the left – great composition.  Thanks for sharing with +StreetPhotography, and hope you change your mind about outdoor dining when you are in Paris.  :)

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  2. Ohhh – a typical Englishman commenting about dining outdoors.  Maybe if you live somewhere else, your opinion will change? ;)
    I like this scene you captured – the couple's expressions – not really sure they are enjoying their surrounding.  But the lighting, the restaurant window, the triangular restaurant placard on the left – great composition.  Thanks for sharing with +StreetPhotography, and hope you change your mind about outdoor dining when you are in Paris.  :)

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  3. I like eating outdoors but it actually depends on the restaurant. There are a few restaurants where you can eat outside, but not like in a big busy street where everyone is passing by your table. The last time I had a meal with my sister somewhere outside was at the zoo and they had a really nice pavilion and it was very gorgeous :)

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  4. I like eating outdoors but it actually depends on the restaurant. There are a few restaurants where you can eat outside, but not like in a big busy street where everyone is passing by your table. The last time I had a meal with my sister somewhere outside was at the zoo and they had a really nice pavilion and it was very gorgeous :)

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  5. I am probably the most typical Englishman I know but when it comes to eating outside I far prefer it.  Outside is my ideal eating place.  I wish I had French Windows so I could step out on a whim.

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  6. I am probably the most typical Englishman I know but when it comes to eating outside I far prefer it.  Outside is my ideal eating place.  I wish I had French Windows so I could step out on a whim.

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  7. agreed with Maria! ))) Thank you very much for sharing this photo with StreetPhotography! (Tatiana)

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  8. agreed with Maria! ))) Thank you very much for sharing this photo with StreetPhotography! (Tatiana)

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  9. I often regret selecting the outdoor dining experience. No meteors yet, but the bugs, wind and noise make me wonder what I was thinking.
    Great read as always.

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  10. I often regret selecting the outdoor dining experience. No meteors yet, but the bugs, wind and noise make me wonder what I was thinking.
    Great read as always.

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  11. Great shot +Mark Hooper This is not the cosiest place for a dinner … but if the location is nice and the temperatures are fine …

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  12. Great shot +Mark Hooper This is not the cosiest place for a dinner … but if the location is nice and the temperatures are fine …

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