Not to be confused with superheroes from American publications, the District of Chichester has its own motley collection of do-gooders battling the scourge of the south coast on a daily basis, and yesterday was try out day.
Most attendees didn't make the cut, of course, but the session did end well for a successful trio so I'd like to introduce the world to – and warn any potential supervillains about – Chichester's newest defenders of truth, liberty, and the West Sussex way of life:
Cumulus – With a cloud on his head and the ability to control water vapour, Cumulus is the man you need when a kettle is in danger of boiling over. Or if you're locked in a sauna.
Boa Constrictor – Scaly skin (the result of a refusal to help prop up the cosmetics industry and buy moisturiser) and unblinking eyes (maybe; difficult to tell really inside that ridiculous outfit) but it's this mystery person's swaying dance with a feather boa that will dazzle and confuse (usually sexually) the criminal underclass.
Gypsy Rose Vee – The V stands for vengeance and her weapons of choice are knockout-perfumed roses. The "gypsy" part comes from her Romany heritage and also explains why she's currently the target of a hate campaign from the Daily Mail.
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