Censored Celebrity Pictures

Keira Knightley bent over a chair and exposing herself to the world, Jamie Lynn Spears caught in an unforgettable pose, and Brad Pitt in an intimate and revealing embrace with Angelina Jolie are just three of the scenarios not pictured in this incredibly hot selection of censored celebrity photos!

Is there anything in this world that Paris Hilton won’t put in her mouth?

Paris Hilton

It’s certainly difficult to be certain and this picture is no real help on account of its gratuitious censorship but if I had to make a guess then I’d say that the answer’s probably no. I’m not saying that she can dislocate the muscles and bones of her face and get anything up to and including a whole Gary Coleman in there like a snake but I am hoping that you’re thinking that even though I’m not saying it now. Because I’m not saying that.

David Beckham is something of a gay icon and a bit of a hit with the ladies I hear!

David Beckham

Is that David Beckham nude apart from socks in public? It can’t be! David’s wife Victoria has drilled it into him many times (no making up your own jokes there) that socks and no pants is a fashion no-no! If only that picture of David Beckham wasn’t censored! David will be looking to earn his 100th cap for playing for England soon. I hope he has somewhere to hang it.

Hayden Panettiere ended up showing off a little more than she was expecting while signing pictures!

Hayden Panettiere

It was her repertoire of magic tricks in order to entertain a crying child. Hayden started with a string of coloured handkerchiefs from her mouth and then went on to produce an endless supply of gold nuggets from behind the child’s ear. She finished off with a disappearing elephant illusion that captivated the crowd but sadly failed to soothe the tantrum of the infant. After that Hayden gave up and went back to signing photos. It’s possible that one of her breasts slipped out of her top whilst doing so but it’s difficult to see with that "censored" sticker on the picture.

What is Tobey Maguire doing with his hands in this photo?

Tobey Maguire

Sure, that could be innocent but being censored opens up a whole world of possibilities. Maybe Tobey’s hands are in his pockets. Or maybe he’s shooting webs around his crotch like in that movie he was in. You know the one. Tobey Maguire played a man who was bitten by a spider and then dressed up like a spider – a gay, colour-blind spider, but you do get them – and as this man who was quite besotted with spiders he then went about doing spidery things, but spidery things as a man would do them. If you go to IMDB.com you can probably find it there. It was called The Man Who Could Shoot Webs From His Hands. I wouldn’t watch it though: it was rubbish.

Mary-Kate and Ashely Olsen caused a stir recently!

The Olsen Twins

It happened when they were used to mix cocktails by mistake after wandering into a bar. Mary-Kate helped to blend the ingredients of a Long Slow Comfortable Screw Against The Wall, while Ashley Olsen mixed a Sex On The Beach to perfection. The dried-off girls were then pictured outside doing something. I’m not quite sure what as it’s a bit difficult to see their faces. And I’m happier that way.

Author: Mark

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  1. I love that last one, but they’re all great! I’m happier not seeing the Olsen twins, too. Whew.

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  2. I don’t think I’m going to be able to watch Beckham on the field again in the same way.

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  3. really funny! reminded me a lot of censored "The Count" and "Mr. Rogers" videos I’ve seen floating around. amazing what perverts we’ve all become eh!?

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  4. Hilarious! But don’t censor Beckham, he’s definitely a hit with my firends!

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  5. Nat: thanks.

    Les: I’m very sorry that you’ll now be picturing David Beckham naked when playing. If it helps to rid you of the image then think back to when Ryan Giggs took his top off in the game against Arsenal.

    Somebodyunfamous: I’ll have you know I’ve not become a pervert at all.

    A Girl… : If I didn’t censor him then I’d have uncensored pictures of David Beckham here instead and having photos like that might bring in unwitting web traffic looking for "things untoward". I don’t think anyone wants that. Ahem.

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  6. Oh, you had to put that video up there… After years of therapy, all the memories of my uncle being eaten by a grizzly bear are coming back. I told him to put bells on his shoes!

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  7. That Tobey Maguire photo proves yet again that celebrities think the whole world is their urinal cake.

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  8. How do you people not see that these photo’s are fake. Notice that the comments are non-incriminating. You can’t really tell by what the person says what’s behind that censor.

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  9. i fucking hate this shit

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