Top 10 Sci-Fi And Fantasy Books (*)

Posted by Mark on Jan 30, 2010 | 4 Comments

(*) That I’ve read and own.

It’s an old internet law that lists of favourite things are a requirement of all websites annually. Well, this year I’m getting mine in early.

I used to read a lot of fantasy but the genre holds less interest now that I’m older; science fiction has far more depth to it. Nevertheless, fantasy is represented here as there is a particularly cracking novel by C. J. Cherryh that I couldn’t omit. To prevent the rest of the list from weighing too heavily in one author or another’s favour I decided to limit my choices to only one book from any given author.

Enough waffle… to the list!

10. The Forge Of God by Greg Bear

The Earth’s about to be demolished to make way for a hyperspatial express route… no, wait, that’s something else entirely. But the Earth is about to be demolished and for the vast majority of the people on it that means a quite awe-inspiring description of death.

9. Against A Dark Background by Iain M. Banks

How do you like your dark novels? Dark? Well, has Iain M. Banks got a treat for you! Not only is there the word ‘dark’ in the title, but the story is a masterpiece of dark and depressing science fiction at its finest.

8. Engines Of God by Jack McDevitt

McDevitt’s books are, essentially, archaeological sci-fi. Yes, you’re right; that’s a pretty specific genre that might not appeal to those who like their science fiction devoid of exploration and digging. Me? I like it. Engines Of God is in this list, though, not because of its archaeology and interplanetary historical detective work but because it contains a sequence of chapters that I can only describe as unputdownablehighoctanepageturners. One word: tsunami. Ooh! Lovely bit of writing.

7. The Chronicles Of Morgaine by C.J. Cherryh

The only fantasy representative on this list is actually three books in one! You’re being spoiled! And there’s more than a hint of sci-fi to satisfy the science fiction fan too. Gates to worlds separated by space and time, a sword called Changeling which has terrifying powers, and the best description of climate change gone awry you’ll ever find.

6. The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester

Essentially a tale of revenge… and teleportation! What more could you possibly want to know?

5. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Another internet law you may already be aware of is that all science fiction lists must contain Brave New World or 1984 or both whether you like them or not. I do like them both but of the two Brave New World pips George Orwell’s classic to a place in my list due to its more prescient nature in depicting the world we live in today; one of luxuries and pleasure and inconsequential oddities to turn the population into sheep rather than pain and oppression.

4. The Stainless Steel Rat by Harry Harrison

One of the first books I read that introduced me to the concept of the anti-hero. James Bolivar DiGriz is a master criminal turned to the good side by former criminals to fight crime. Honest. His wife is a former homicidal maniac now reconditioned to be good. Honest.

3. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson

Forget the films. Really, really forget the films. They do not do justice to this stunning novel. The lone man fighting the world-turned-vampire you know about. The ending – the awesome twist ending – you need to read.

2. Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds

In a very short time Alastair Reynolds has established himself as one of the finest science fiction authors of our time with his incredibly realistic vision of man’s future; humanity split into different species by their lifestyles mix or fight in a galaxy without faster-than-light travel or wormholes. The sense of plausibility to Reynolds’ universe lends a depth to the many stories.

1. Chung Kuo by David Wingrove

To finish with there’s not one, not two, not three, not… I’ll cut to the chase… there’s eight novels at no extra cost to you. Chung Kuo is a richly detailed picture of a near-future Earth ruled by Chinese emperors in continent-spanning cities. Everyone has their place and, as is the case with these things, some people aren’t happy with their place. The result is rebellion, intrigue, political plotting, and the most sadistic character/architect of destruction you’ll likely ever read.

Lazy Science Fiction TV And Film

Posted by Mark on Jan 3, 2010 | 7 Comments

Science fiction – sci-fi, if you prefer your genres shortened and hyphenated – is the choice I pick more often than not when it comes to watching a television programme or movie. There are reasons for this: science fiction babes are hot, of course; fashion in science fiction is without equal; science fiction can make you think in a way that insipid romances in teen action comedies don’t (positively, that is).

The brain’s a wonderful thing. I like to think. I’m quite good at it even if I say so myself. So this is why it pains me when I see something I like – science fiction – lobotomised in the name of entertainment. In the last six months I’ve noticed I’ve become far more critical of the films and shows that I would ordinarily love; perhaps this ties in with the completion of the Battlestar Galactica series and the termination (pun alert) of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, both of which were great examples of science fiction done well with attention to detail and engrossing storylines.

Characters are important; when a character does something in a book, TV show, or movie I like to know why they’ve acted the way they did. When it doesn’t make sense – when it’s out of character – the role is spoiled. In a similar manner, where science fiction is involved, events and actions are important not just as to why they’ve occurred, but also how they’ve taken place. This is not to say there can’t be suspension of disbelief; a little suspension is great as it tickles the wonderment ganglion in the cerebral cortex. I don’t worry, for instance, about high energy radiation problems of warp generation or the puzzling inconsistencies in artificial gravity. I do, however, get irked when aliens try to take over a planet which is toxic to them: Martians and Signs Things, I’m looking at you here.

Star Trek
J. J. Abrams brought a fresh, new look to the cinema screens with Star Trek and overall I really liked it. Visually: lovely. Some nice touches and nods to the series. But…

• Romulans threatened by a supernova in another solar system? Possibly a little dangerous depending on proximity. However, not world-exploding dangerous. Also: not very fast, relatively-speaking; certainly not for a warp-capable race with incredibly well-armed mining vessels. No evacuations? Just blame the people trying to help? Weak plot and bad science all over this.
• One drop of red matter can destroy a planet; all the rest of the red matter together takes about as long to grudgingly eat up a mining vessel. Was it past its use-by date?
• Explosions in space do not push things away; they’d need an atmosphere to do that. As a means to escape the gravitational pull of a black hole… it’s crap.
• Future Spock gets to watch Vulcan being destroyed in the sky from another planet? Not Vulcan’s moon, no; this was definitely a planet somewhere after some warp travel from the recently-destroyed Vulcan to the Federation fleet. So we’re talking a long way from Vulcan. Yet still able to see it in the sky. That’s some nice and glossed-over (okay, yes, totally omitted) gravitational lensing going on there.
• Future Spock and Kirk are on an ice world. With dangerous carnivores. Large ones. Really, really large ones. Let’s ignore that Spock marooned Kirk on this incredibly dangerous place and consider how these carnivores survive. What the hell is the food chain like there? Implausible, at best.

The Day Of The Triffids
The BBC recently remade this story and annoyed the living crap out of me. The novel isn’t perfect (consider its age) but here’s a hint: fix the flaws when remaking; don’t pile more on top to hide them!

• There is no right to bear arms in the United Kingdom. We do not have gun stores. You cannot simply buy a gun without a legitimate reason very easily. Farmers do have shotguns. Some of the upper classes do enjoy to hunt. Criminals do have some weapons. Most of our police do not have guns. Most of our population has probably never seen a loaded weapon in real life. So… when happening upon a small village in the middle of the countryside there is a possibility that the two girls may have a shotgun or two between them. A rifle I might buy too. But machine guns? How? Where? Why? And how again? And they left with our hero still clutching their guns… and how much ammo again? Where? How? What?
• Disregarding everything that had happened previously and, in the last ten minutes, explaining a flashback and using a tribal mask to persuade the triffids to allow humans to pass through their hungry midst? What. The. Hell? I know it can be annoying to suddenly realise "I’ve no idea how to finish this story" but implementing a nonsensical mystical element that had no relevance to anything suffered through prior is insulting. Shower scene and dream seemed a little old hat perhaps?
• Triffids are hungry, hungry plants. Just like hippos. And the world is full of warm, tasty, blind food. And they’re still plants, of course. Not sentient. So, why would a group of hungry plants lay an ambush inside a dark warehouse when all their blind, warm, tasty food in the plant-friendly sunshine is anywhere but there? Is there anybody who thinks that makes any sense?

Doctor Who: The End Of Time
I like Doctor Who. I’ve had a long chat with End Of Time writer Russell T. Davies before. It’s a science fiction show with occasional flashes of brilliance and inventive writing. And then a complete car crash of a story comes along.

• Earth’s got beefed-up defences these days, hasn’t it? Aliens had better watch out! A Timelord in charge of a craft he’s never been in before (I guess) made a bit of a mockery of them in that utterly pointless chase/fight sequence. What the hell was that about? There’s no Disney tie-in to a game is there? There’s no ride at a theme park is there? Who was that for? What did it solve?
• I don’t care who you are: if you fall a long way from a fast-moving craft and smash through a roof to land on a stone floor… you… will… die. If that sort of thing doesn’t worry you then little things like radiation certainly won’t unless you’re past caring anymore. Russell.
• We see The Doctor get angry at Wilf. We see The Doctor get upset at his pending regeneration (just like all his previous incarnations… oh no, I’m thinking of Buddhists). We see The Doctor do all the things he said could never be done by going back in time and saving former partners or making their lives better. In short: we see someone completely different. All in the name of making hormonal men and women sob a little and forget about all the shite that had happened before. Thanks.
• It turns out that Martha married Mickey. How do I know this? Because they took time out to tell one another what you imagine they probably already knew while in the middle of a battle. Like you would.
• If I had a Gauntlet Of Making Things Disappear Or Turn Back To What They Were Before In Case Someone Had Just Turned Them Into Something Else Or Something (available in all good Gallifrey stockists) then I’d use it when threatened. Maybe that’s just me.
• Building up a big Return Of The Time Lords with talk of an idea through time multipled by billions of cloned Time Lord personalities and a showdown in London and history unravelling and so much more! … that is foiled by shooting a diamond? Couldn’t a cleaner have come in and unplugged it instead for comedic effect?
• Keeping quiet on a spaceship so you can’t be detected from Earth? Really? Surely, even the Torchwood Giant Ear Trumpet can’t hear people speaking through a vacuum. Surely.

Lazy writing, all of it. I could go on but I can’t be bothered.

So, finally, movie producers, television show developers, writers of science fiction: can I ask a favour? Can you run your stories past me first so I can explain what’s wrong with them and fix them before public consumption? Don’t make 2010 a record year for head-shaking and tutting. Thanks.

Death From The Skies!

Posted by Mark on Oct 8, 2009 | 4 Comments

What?

You don’t update for the best part of a fortnight and when you do it’s a picture of a book?

Let me explain why I’ve posted a picture of Death From The Skies by full-time astronomer and occasional stunt double for Sir Clive Sinclair, Philip Plait…

Firstly: I’ve been busy. Got a new job. Quite a bit of travelling. Can’t really work on my site while I’m making sure million-plus pounds a day in turnover websites are actually turning over. Especially in an open plan office. Kinda frowned upon. Then, by the time I get home… well, I’m only thinking of one thing and I think you what that is, right? Slippers. Yeah, you know it. Slippers.

Secondly: shut your face. It’s my site.

Thirdly: this book is pretty important. It takes my books by astronomers with more than a one in a million chance of actually being recognised by people who don’t ordinarily get excited by interference patterns in spectra (that’s a small but important genre of authors) to… one. Unless you count The Secret Of The Black Hole by Patrick Moore. And I don’t. Anyway, that’s in the attic somewhere. One is infinitely more than zero. Think about it. It’s also one more than zero so try to gloss over that.

Fourthly: shut your face. It’s my site.

That is all.

Homeopathic Remedies

Posted by Mark on Jun 14, 2009 | 5 Comments

Since it’s nearly almost certainly 100% illegal in the UK to claim that there’s absolutely no benefit whatsoever in homeopathy and that homeopathy is both fraudulent and dangerous there’s never been a better time to start a business dealing with homeopathy which is why we’re now launching neOnbubble Homeopathic Cures Ltd Gmbh Plc.

At neOnbubble Homeopathic Cures Ltd Gmbh Plc we’re different, and we’re confident you’ll notice the difference. And if you don’t notice the difference then we’ve got a homeopathic cure for that!

How does homeopathy work?
No actual scientist knows but homeopathic practitioners will tell you that water, like the brain, has the ability to remember things. Put salt in water and you’ve got saltwater. Take the salt from the saltwater and you’ve got water that remembers being salty even if it isn’t salty and is just plain water. Drink that plain, salt-free water and you’ve just got all the benefits of salt transferred from the memory brain of the water droplets into your pancreas or spine. Doctors with years of training behind them can’t understand how it can possibly work but people who crush herbs and sell macrame clothing to the elderly know and that’s good enough for us.

At neOnbubble Homeopathic Cures Ltd Gmbh Plc you can forget all about traditional homeopathy remedies for minor ailments such as "a bit of a cough" or "a hard-to-reach itch" or "cancer of the lower intestines" because we certainly have. neOnbubble Homeopathic Cures Ltd Gmbh Plc are pioneers in new and exciting homeopathy medicine.

Why not take a look at some of the incredible remedies from our innovative Aqua range!

Homeopathic Treatment For Drowning
Are you drowning right now? Have you drowned in the past? Do you expect to drown in the near future? Drowning affects one in three of us during our lifetime and for many people drowning can be a life-changing experience they would rather not undertake. Fortunately, there’s a homeopathic remedy for drowning proven to alleviate the symptoms in four-fifths of cases by our highly-guarded, not-so-highly-regarded Homeopathy Research Laboratory run by genuine people who genuinely claim to be genuine doctors.

Dihydrous oxide is our flagship homeopathy treatment to relieve the suffering of drowners. Dihydrous oxide is present in most water responsible for drowning making it the perfect ingredient to help build up your body’s natural defence against breathing in water. This highly-diluted infusion of dihydrous oxide in water acts on your cellular tissue causing hydration of the membranes. Breathe in and take orally until the dihydrous oxide goes down the wrong pipe. The memory of breathing water will now be transferred to your own brain and you’ll not do that again in a hurry. ORDER NOW »

Homeopathic Treatment For Paralysing Fear Of Rain
Do you find yourself staying indoors when it rains? Have you bought an umbrella to protect yourself from rain? Do you prefer your clothes to be dry rather than drenched through? Then you might just be suffering from a paralysing fear of rain.

Phobias, like physical ailments, are also treatable by homeopathy and with identical results too! Fear the rain no longer thanks to neOnbubble Homeopathic Cures Ltd Gmbh Plc.

The active ingredient you want here is pluvia; that’s latin so you know it’s good! We collect our pluvia from 100% natural, organic puddles. Pluvia is effective in removing inorganic salts which may be why it is so useful in reducing rain-fear complications in people who also are coated in inorganic salts. Our experts recommend taking the pluvia homeopathic remedy externally over your skin and clothing for maximum effectiveness in combatting a phobia of getting wet when it rains. ORDER NOW »

Homeopathic Treatment For Thirst
It’s a sad fact, but being thirsty is one of the leading causes of death by dehydration. Hospital advice might be to drink some fluids but nobody knows what really goes on in hospitals so trusting the advice of so-called "medical professionals" is often hard for most of us.

If you’re after a natural, homeopathic treatment for thirst that truly embraces the like-for-like philosophy of remedies then let us introduce you to water.

As with all our homeopathy concoctions at at neOnbubble Homeopathic Cures Ltd Gmbh Plc we dilute more than any other registered or unregistered homeopathic supplier in the western hemisphere, ensuring there is not one single trace of the original ingredient in what we sell to you. In this way we make certain that you get all the benefits of not suffering from any of the symptoms of ingesting the original, active ingredient without suffering any of the drawbacks of suffering from any of the symptoms of ingesting the original, active ingredient. Our water is diluted in distilled, natural water until there is no water remaining; just that 100% water with memory of water. Take water-based water to alleviate your thirst whenever you’re feeling a bit dry. ORDER NOW »

What Are Tornadoes?

Posted by Mark on Apr 15, 2009 | 9 Comments

Reproduced with permission from the neOnbubble Know You Some Science series of student learning guides.

What Are Tornadoes?
A tornado is a rotating column of air that forms between a cloud and the surface of the Earth. The column rotates fast enough to compensate for the force of gravity allowing the cloud to lift objects from the ground and feed upon them. This allows clouds to line and protect their internal watery goodness with dirt, wood, vehicles, and people, and this permits the cloud to retain its form longer as it continues on its migration north or south.

When Do Tornadoes Form?
Tornadoes tend to form only during certain parts of the year: Tornado Season. In medieval times they also formed during Plague Season, Bathing Season, and New Pope Season but this has all but gone out of fashion.

How Do Tornadoes Form?
As the Earth’s weather patterns change on it’s year-long, figure-eight orbit around the Moon so the temperatures at the poles and the equator alters. In short: the cold bits gets colder and the warm bits get warmer, or vice versa (depending on when it is, obviously.)

As with all flying, living organisms clouds too migrate. Warm clouds – Cumulonimbus – seek cooler climes during the Summer and so head away from their nesting grounds of the equatorial regions. At the same time the colder, Arctic or Antarctic clouds – Doubledeckerbus – make their way towards the Earth’s zero latitude point in order to take the chill off their cloudy fringes.

When two members of a species that survive on the same food source – water, in this case – come together the result is not without conflict. In general, clouds are relatively harmless. While six of them could group together and smother you they rarely do as you’re often indoors and can’t hear their soggy knocking at the door. However, clouds will fight clouds of other types, hoping to absorb them or annoy them by sliding underneath and interfering with their own rain cycle (see also: Where Does Rain Come From?)

With literally hundreds of years to evolve a set of fighting rules the two types of cloud enter into a complicated ritual whereby one cloud passes northwards while the other passes south as close as possible at the same altitude. The fast interaction starts in motion a vortex which both clouds use to weave a tunnel or column towards the ground. In this way they are able to suck up material and bolster their cloud linings. Protected in this way the clouds will subsequently charge at one another. The result is most often seen as lightning caused by the friction of cows against sheds in the cloud skins. This explains why tornadoes are accompanied by violent electrical storms and are very rarely seen in anything other than pairs, or threesomes if they’re kinky.

Where Do Tornadoes Form?
Because tornadoes form only where the colder and warmer clouds meet and compete for resources they are mostly limited to a narrow band either side of the equator. Theoretically, in the northern hemisphere tornadoes could form across the lower part of North America, southern Europe, and a wide stretch of Asia. In practice, most tornadoes only form in America as there is less to see and do there. Like the anteater, clouds are distracted by interesting architecture and stunning vistas, and inter-species fighting (and, therefore, tornado-formation) is more rare in such locations.

Do Women Turn Into Witches In Tornadoes?
Yes they do. Also during the sales.

Scientists In Movies

Posted by Mark on Mar 27, 2009 | 9 Comments

Do you like scientists?

Do you like movies?

Do you like scientists in movies?

Oh.

Sorry, then.

Anyhoo … can you identify the scientists and the movies in which the scientists have been cleverly (I’m taking a course in blowing my own trumpet) placed?

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

An Interview With Ray Comfort

Posted by Mark on Mar 6, 2009 | 15 Comments

Never let it be said that I’m anything but fair. Many, many moons ago I conducted an interview with then-doctor-now-heap-big-better-than-doctor Brian Cox and we discussed matters of science, said science being a subject very close to my heart as I have it on good authority that certain sciencey things occur in its vicinity; biology, chemistry, and physics (yeah, the big three!) apparently.

Another subject close to my heart is religion – I once snagged my nipple on a rosary – and, till now, I’ve neglected to complement my interview of one of science’s finest with one of religion’s finest. Or nearly finest. Or adequatest. Or he’ll-doest. Website, let me now introduce you to Ray Comfort, kiwi by birth (not the species), evangelical minister, opponent of science’s rational explanation of evolution, and author of You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, But You Can’t Make Him Think.

ME: Ray, I’ve finally given in and taken up your challenge to interview you but declined your more-than-generous offer of ten thousand recitations of the commandments as evidence for whatever’s in your head. Welcome to this little crook of the internet.

RAY: Thank you for finally listening to me; many people don’t. And please, call me The Raymeister.

ME: Let me just draw your attention to paragraph one, sentence one of the interview contract I drew up and you signed where it says "I’m not calling you The Raymeister."

RAY: Whatever.

ME: Don’t do that with your fingers; teenagers do that. Let’s start. Why don’t we begin with man’s descent from apes? What’s not to like about the fossilised and genetic evidence as uncovered by your archnemeses People Who’ve Actually Studied This Stuff?

RAY: We’ve all seen the picture, right? There’s man and before him is an apeman and before him is an apeman laboratory assistant with a hunch and/or rickets and before that is an ape and before that is a monkey, yes? It looks sensible on the face of it and sure, there are all these ancient bones to back it up and the suspiciously difficult to see DNA which they claim supports it all. But ask yourself this: why does it stop at monkey? Why don’t they keep going back? Smaller monkey then tiny monkey then monkey insect and monkey bacterium? Why not? Because it’s ridiculous and all made up and they know it. Booya!

ME: How would you respond to this statement by website interviewer me, right now?: just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean that it is wrong; it could be right whilst, simultaneously, you might just not get it through either a lack of mental capability or a deliberate act of belligerence.

RAY: Let me think about that for a moment.

ME: Don’t rush into anything new. Joking! Hey! Are you rubbing your chin with your middle finger on purpose? Stop that!

RAY: What? I’m not doing anything! Anyway, it’s not in the contract.

ME: Yes it is; right here on page three. It says "Ray will not use obscene gestures during the interview." You’ve crossed out "Ray" and put "The Raymeister" and initialled the change and I’ve crossed out your alteration, returned it to the original, and initialled that too.

RAY: Whatever.

ME: Let’s just carry on, shall we? You’re now known as The Banana Man because of your belief that bananas are proof of God being behind the design of something that fits in the hand and peels. Since nothing else fits in the hand and peels is God telling us to go on a strict banana-only diet?

RAY: Well, coconuts are a no-no; something that tough to break into and with such a dangerous resemblance to testicles is clearly a warning sign. All other food can be eaten, however, because all other food has clearly been designed that way. Why are tusks and antlers only on large animals? Because tusks and antlers fit in the hand and help to steady otherwise-unwieldy foods like elephant heads when consuming them. Bacon tastes just divine! Now, if evolutionists are right then why hasn’t the pig evolved to taste more like Marmite and fend off Man’s breakfast urges? Isn’t the answer God? An atheist can’t answer that. Simple.

ME: Simple is exactly what I was thinking too. Why don’t you tell me your thoughts on evolution as it pertains to the males and females of species?

RAY: Ah yes, now this is one that so-called scientists just cannot explain no matter how hard they try. Male cats can only mate with female cats, male peacocks can only mate with female peacocks, and so on. We all know that without having to resort to science. The Bible tells us these animals were created by God and put on Earth but science says that these animals evolved from earlier forms! Think about that. Male dogs evolved from earlier forms at exactly the same time as female dogs? Even if you believe in evolution then you’ve got to realise that that’s too much of a coincidence not to have been caused by God.

ME: I’m a part-time actor with an upcoming role that requires me to laugh hysterically and that explanation will do the trick nicely, thank you.

RAY: Dude, are you mocking me?

ME: You really can’t pull off use of the word "dude" and yes, I am, as I indicated I probably would in every paragraph of the contract.

RAY: Wh …

ME: And if you say "whatever" one more time you’ll be off to bed with no supper young man. Let’s finish now by talking about your book tagged highly on Amazon with words and phrases such as "stupidity", "breathtaking inanity", "illogical", "lies", and, my favourite, "banana porn" to name but a very few. I understand your book contains the same refuted arguments – refuted arguments – you’ve used over and over before, only with a new publisher and in a slightly different order. Is there anything about your book that you’d like to talk about and who exactly is your target audience since I never had you down as a children’s fiction author?

RAY: You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, But You Can’t Make Him Think is one of my longest book titles yet and I’m very proud of that. Look at Dawkins! The God Delusion has only three words in it. To me and many Christians I think that speaks far more than any empirical study of book title lengths as they relate to coherent content ever could. I’ve aimed this particular novel at atheists and skeptics and Darwinists because studies show they’re more likely to read things. Really, I just want to start a debate.

ME: There’s a lot about you that’s debatable.

RAY: Hey!

ME: Ray Comfort, thank you for stopping by.

RAY: Call me it once.

ME: I’m not going to call you it.

RAY: Go on. The interview’s over now.

ME: No.

RAY: What harm can it do? Come on!

ME: Okay … Ray … you’re a moron.

RAY: Dude! That’s not what I meant and you know it!

ME: Whatever.

Can We Make A Star On Earth?

Posted by Mark on Feb 17, 2009 | 3 Comments

A quick reminder to viewers in the UK that friend of this site (*) Professor Brian Cox will be appearing on Horizon on BBC2 and BBC HD (**) tonight at 9pm (***) where he will be looking into nuclear fusion and asking the question "Can we make a star on Earth?" (****) in a northern accent that has a bizarrely-powerful soporific effect on my wife and will be just the ticket before bed (*****).

If you’re outside the UK and that video doesn’t display then …

… now you know how I feel every time one of you American buggers embeds something from bloody Hulu.

And remember, there’s plenty more Professor Brian Cox-related information on this very site: there’s the exclusive interview with the scientist himself or the list of his early television appearances or even the secret video where he breaks down in tears and admits he’s never really understood the difference between an up and a strange quark (******).

Footnotes:
(*) Your definition of "friend of this site" and mine may differ.
(**) See grey hairs and wrinkles like never before in glorious high definition!
(***) Set your V+ to record if you’re watching Battlestar Galactica.
(****) Spoiler alert: no.
(*****) Assuming you’re going to bed just to sleep, wink, wink (*******).
(******) Removed pending High Court ruling.
(*******) We are.