Alberto Frog’s Coffee Problem
Jun22

Alberto Frog’s Coffee Problem

“Oh, Alberto Frog, thank you!” said Father Leopold. “Thank you for saving the church fĂȘte with your charity orchestral performance.” “An absolute pleasure,” said the orchestra’s conductor, beaming widely. “How ever can I thank you?” asked the priest. “Well…” said Alberto. “Um… Er…” Zebra knew what he was going to ask for. Kangaroo knew what...

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All Ears
Jun03

All Ears

“I’m all ears,” I said as I lowered myself onto the tree stump opposite the doctor. The doctor fished one hand into a worn-looking pocket in his coat and pulled out a short wooden pipe. Over the next couple of minutes he also retrieved tobacco and a lighter and proceeded to do all the right things with those three objects. He made a couple of sucking sounds and exhaled a small cloud. “Well,” the doctor...

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Without Incident
Nov12

Without Incident

The little fish clung to the underside of the jetsam, shivering with fear. After everything that had happened this somehow seemed the most scary moment of all. It was nearly silent; only the occasional bubble and splash on the surface punctuated the oppressive terror. There was nothing around. Which direction should he go? Would he ever see anyone again? Some shadow shifted in the distance. The fish held his breath. A trick of the...

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The Media Beast
Oct07

The Media Beast

I went down to the zoo today. There were many people there. I think a lot of people visit the zoo every day. I stopped by the media beast enclosure. I was not alone. There was quite a crowd. The media beast is a strange beast. It is large and powerful. Its eyes are soulless, dark and flat. I studied the media beast. Other people watched it and wandered off. They looked at me and shrugged. The media beast chewed on news bushes....

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The Alliteration Assassin
Apr04

The Alliteration Assassin

The mirror’s steamed up on account of all the hot, wet bodies sheltering from the rain but the obscured reflection that greets me still looks haggard. I’ve been putting the decision off long enough and it’s not as if the weather’s going to improve any time soon so I down the golden film coating the base of my whiskey glass, pull my still-damp hat from the hook under the bar, and make to leave. There’s a...

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Post-Apocalyptic Estate Agent
Jun27

Post-Apocalyptic Estate Agent

I’m dreadfully sorry for my tardiness Mr and Mrs Rags; there was a road traffic accident along the southern desert road which naturally has had a knock-on effect throughout the area… Did I get anything? Oh yes! After the Enforcers chased off the Carrion Legion – it was they who’d laid the trap; family all dead by the way, killed post-crash – I managed to fight through the scavengers and took a shoe off...

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