Penny Mordaunt, Suella Fernandes On Brexit
Jun29

Penny Mordaunt, Suella Fernandes On Brexit

Spotted on the Portsmouth News website and saved for posterity in case the article should ever be edited or withdrawn, local MPs for Portsmouth North and Fareham respectively, Penny Mordaunt and Suella Fernandes, appear to have finally come clean about their reasons to support Britian leaving the EU (Brexit) and their disdain for anyone stupid enough to have voted for them. I salute the naivety of those who backed us. I am heartened that people still believe any old crap we come out with if it reinforces their prejudices. Suella Fernandes Whatever side of the argument we were on my future career promises to be Chief Defence Wizard in the Cult of Bojo – Hail Bojo! – must be honoured. Penny Mordaunt If true then these quotes from Hampshire MPs are...

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1980s Movie Music Triple
Jun26

1980s Movie Music Triple

Three bits of music from 1980s movies for your listening pleasure. 1980s movie master Kenny Loggins produces a song that is only surpassed by the gopher’s dancing skills in Caddyshack, skills I’ve mastered to the detriment of any other dancing style. Used in a ridiculous number or movies and TV scenes (see: Wikipedia: Oh Yeah) but probably most famously in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Weird Science, just one of those 80s movies that can be a little uncomfortable viewing in later years if you question some of the attitudes to sex and age. But still...

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The Queen’s Dolls’ House
Jun26

The Queen’s Dolls’ House

Scans from the Girls Own Annual, 1924, featuring an article on the Dolls House built for Queen Mary, the wife of King George V, and constructed with the help of architect Sir Edwin Lutyens. Click the images for larger...

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A Meeting To Discuss Killing Old People
Jun26

A Meeting To Discuss Killing Old People

Friends, I’d like to thank you for coming together at such short notice. I don’t think any of us seriously believed we’d need to meet today or under these circumstances but it is what it is and we must react to the will of the United Kingdom’s people. Or rather, as I’m sure you know, the will of our deadly enemy, the old people. Graham, calm down. Directed anger at this point will be of far more use to us. We all feel the same way but that chair did nothing to you. Well, yes, it may have been built by someone who is now old but they probably weren’t then or it would have one of those beaded seat covers on it. Right. We’ve all been determined to rid ourselves of the scourge that is old people for some time and we’ve been patient, cautious, careful. The EU vote has caught us napping. Our enemy has made a lightning attack we never foresaw and has started a financial collapse and put this country on the road to an isolationist position whilst allowing racists to become bolder. This attempt to turn the country into a scary, lonely place for everyone and not just them may not be able to be halted – I know, I’m sorry Jane but we have to honest – but we can still seek retaliatory action. Why? I can’t believe you’d ask that Jeremy. That sounds almost like giving up. Uh huh. Okay, well then, to address your devil’s advocate position it’s not cutting our losses it’s ensuring that the enemy does not seek to do more. Do you really think that those who can remember what day it is will stop now or those who can’t will comprehend what turmoil they’ve already unleashed? No, I didn’t think so. We must strike back and we must strike hard. We must give the ageing population who are waiting to fill their slippers something to consider. Which reminds me: Jeremy, when’s your birthday? A Scorpio, eh? And what year were you born? Uh huh. Thank you. No, no reason. Let’s start with Operation Buy All The Cardigans. It goes without saying that we need to step this up immediately. Obviously, we’re still relying on a harsh winter to then kill off the layer-less geriatrics and we can’t guarantee that everywhere in the UK any longer thanks to the extreme swings caused by continuing climate change but there’s really no downside to going ahead as it will boost the economy and Christ knows it’s going to need a boost. How are we going to fund this? I thought...

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Ship Webbing
Jun20

Ship Webbing

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