American Hotels And Motels

I’ve shared some of the fantastic postcards of Jordan Smith before – American Motels – and the urge came over me to do so again. No, I don’t know why but that’s all the explanation you’re getting for what you’re about to read.

It’s the Alvyn Hotel describing itself as the friendliest lobby in town. Certainly, if wood gives you wood then you’ll be smiling too but even if you’re not some sexual deviant turned on by the smell of pine there’s a lot to recommend at the Alvyn Hotel; for starters: they have a rocking chair! And if you’re the sort of person that likes to listen to the TV but not watch it then where else are you going to find a chair conveniently located with its back to a supporting pillar facing away from the set in the room? Nowhere but the Alvyn Hotel, that’s where!

This is the William Hilton Inn, Hilton Head, South Carolina and if you’re a fan of hotels with no troublemakers in them then this is the place for you as every guest is subject to police background checks and an interrogation by two federal agents before their bags are checked in. Since this policy was put in place the murder rate of guests at the William Hilton Inn has fallen to a record low.

If you’ve ever wondered what it must be like to be behind the counter in the lobby of the Weatherford Hotel in Flagstaff, Arizona then this postcard should give you all the help you need. Should you pick up your book on the counter top? But what if someone comes in? Would they think you’re smart because you’re reading or would they be offended that you’re not staring at the doors waiting for them? Who can know the minds of people who would stay in this hotel? And what’s your favourite chair? Is it the blue one that you found down the street? Why would someone throw out a good chair like that? It doesn’t matter that it doesn’t match anything else! It doesn’t! Or do you like the chair with the head on it? That has got to be a good talking point to guests, hasn’t it? What else could you talk about? The weather? It’s Arizona! It’s hot! Why is there a head on a chair? Maybe you’ll pick your book up. Maybe you won’t think about the head on the chair any more.

This is the Tropics Motor Hotel, Seattle, Washington and you’ll want to stay here; it’s got a kidney bean-shaped pool. Oh, other motels have kidney bean-shaped pools? Well, this kidney bean-shaped pool is indoors and heated! Oh, other motels have indoor, heated pools? Well, do other motels give you the opportunity to wake up in the morning, throw back the curtains, and look out on the view of a couple of strangers sitting outside in the rain peering in? No, you’re damn right they don’t! And that’s why you’ll want to stay at the Tropics.

These days we’re constantly told to drink responsibly (whatever that means) but back in the day bars were all about one thing: getting you drunk. Even better: getting you falling down drunk. The many bars had many and varied ways to achieve this goal but surely none ever did it better than the bar at the Monteleone Hotel in New Orleans. You want to be falling down drunk? Then you want to a bar that also revolves at up to forty revolutions per minute! Getting on a bar seat can be tricky but centrifugal force makes leaving a doddle.

Lexington, Kentucky is the horse capital of the world (allegedly) these days but it once tried to be known as the most patriotic city in America. In order to achieve that aim the scourge that was communists was hunted down wherever it may be, and one of the places that it was deemed it may be was in the Continental Inn. And that’s why every bed had wall-mounted microphones installed over them and why two-way mirrors were placed in every room with space for a film crew behind. If at the the end of your stay you were deemed not to be a threat to the American way of life you could purchase a movie reel of your nighttime exploits for a very reasonable price and delight in the athleticism you showed in leaping from bed to bed and having sex across that gap in a manoeuvre you would later dub the Golden Gate Bridge position.

A small sample of the many in the full set on Flickr.

Author: Mark

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1 Comment

  1. What I miss so much is the indoor heated pool of Tropics Motor Hotel. There’s no other hotel in Seattle, Washington with a pool like that of Tropics Motor Hotel. There are other hotels that have an indoor pool I think, but it’s not heated. That made it unique.

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