Alternate History: The Pharaohs

What if the ancient dynasties that ruled over Egypt thousands of years ago had survived to this day?

1. The Bangles would not have had a hit with Walk Like An Egyptian, instead securing significantly less global success with the track Club Seals Like An Eskimo.

2. ISO 639-2 would include the International Language Code of "eg-hg Egyptian (Hieroglyphics)."

3. Followers of Scientology would have been enslaved by the Cult of Apep despite a U.N. resolution condemning the action.

4. Egyptian chavs would wear Burberry headdresses.

5. The area around Giza would be getting a little cramped:


6. Rameses would still be a popular boy’s name.

7. A Sphinx-like character called Ra-Ra Thothsicle would have dragged Revenge Of The Sith way beyond The Phantom Menace‘s Jar Jar level of annoyance.

8. The Volkswagen Scarab would be the car to own in Cairo.

9. You could choose burial, cremation, or having your brains scooped out through your nose for your loved ones after death.

10. Brendan Fraser would be unemployed.

Author: Mark

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  1. Men would walk around with shaved heads except for a pony tail.

    Women would shave all of their body hair off except for their eyebrows and the hair on their heads. Oh wait…women do that now.

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  2. Wow, those new pyramids are much cooler than the old ones.

    And Scarab is still a cool name for a car, no doubt someone will use it very soon. ~plots~

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